Next Poem

Son Death Poem

The Heart Of A Grieving Mother

My son passed away at the age of 29 years old, and I felt inspired to write this poem in memory of Matthew. This poem comes straight from my heart -- a grieving mother's heart. I also wanted to share this poem with people who have lost a son and understand the unbearable pain that our hearts go through.

Featured Shared Story

Thank you for sharing. Beautiful story of having his resting place at your home. I lost my son on 08/29/21. He was 41 years and 350 days young. We buried him on what would have been his 42...

Read complete story

Share your story! (71)

Half Of My Heart Is Gone

Published: March 2018

Son, I wish I could wake up and see you standing there.
Then I would know that it was just a nightmare.

Son, I remember when you were small and how you would hold my hand,
and as you grew older you became my best friend.

Son, I have 29 years of memories that I will treasure and keep safe in my heart.
We share a bond that time and distance can never break apart.

Son, oh how my heart aches so.
I would love to have you back and never let you go.

Son, where there was happiness,
now there is sadness.

Son, how I long to hear your voice and see your beautiful smile
and have you back for just a little while.

Son, until that day I see you again,
I will look to the sky and search among the stars for my son and best friend.

Love,
Mom

Stories 71
Shares 7071
Favorited 38
Votes 1326
Rating 4.69

Next Poem

Receive a new poem in your inbox weekly!

Subscribe to Poem of the Week

Poem of the Week

Read More Son Death Poems

Has this poem touched you? Share your story!

by Evelyn Bisson
1 month ago

My son James died on the March 3, 2016, just 33 years old. He was on holiday in Thailand and was in a hit and run accident. He did not tell us about the accident so not to worry us. He was due to fly back and booked into a hotel near the airport. He was found the next morning by hotel staff after not responding to an early call. He was given medication by the hospital and other tablets he was taking. We still do not know if it was an accidental overdose or his head injury due to the accident. Six years on and it still feels like yesterday. I exist, I don't live anymore. Some days I just don't want to be here; it's just so difficult.

by Bill Shanner
7 months ago

My son was coming home from a buddy's & somehow lost control. The truck rolled, ejecting him. He suffered severe head trauma, and my wife & I had to make the hardest decision in our life. To hold on to him or let him go. Karson Noah Shanner would not want a machine keeping him alive, so we let him go. He was 18 years old. 06-06-2003 - 10-13-2021. My heart bleeds with pain, and I miss him dearly. I just keep thinking he's going to walk through the door! I love you son!
L.L.K. Your father. Bill Shanner

by Val Dhanraj
5 months ago

Our son passed away in a car accident on 9.13.21. He was also 18 years old. Just graduated high school. We feel your pain and suffering. God had his angel wings ready. Find solace that he is in heaven. I know nothing anyone says to us can ease our pain. We are not alone. Our angels are with us every day. Talk to him, ask him to help you heal. My heart knows your heartache- my husband and I are suffering every day. Peace, peace, peace.
Val

by Vanessa Walker
8 months ago

I've just found this site. Until now, I thought I was the only one struggling and looking for ways to cope. I lost my son 10/01/2019. He just got out of bed and dropped dead; he was 26. He had a cyst on his brain, but there was no warning or signs he had this. I struggle day to day with the fact he isn't here. I have to learn to cope with it but also know it is ok to not be ok. I set up a memorial site for him and like to go on it and talk to him. I love poems, but I'm no good at writing them. I just thought I could read others and see if that helps.

by William Osterloo
1 year ago

My son Jared passed away on Thursday. He was 40 years old. He was a street kid. He had schizophrenia. He fathered 2 children, a boy and a girl. We tried to get him to settle down, but he always wanted to be free and did as he pleased. He was living at my ex's home, but she had asked him to leave as he was too disruptive, and with COVID 19 he was a threat to their health. So he moved into a shelter. We thought maybe he had overdosed, but they found no cause of death. I'm thinking God was tired of seeing jim suffer and took him home to be with Him. Jared was the sweetest, kindest son, but he led a difficult life. I'm scattering his ashes on the lake where I live so he will be with me always. In a few years I'll pass away and then I'll see him again. Until then, I will think of him every day and keep him in my thoughts always.

by Sonya
1 year ago

I have lost 2 boys. My oldest son committed suicide in 2006. My middle son was found murdered in August 2016. It is difficult to even get out of bed much less have any semblance of a life. I have found myself having anxiety attacks when I leave my house. I'm pretty much a recluse now. My youngest son is a quadriplegic. I take care of him when he needs me but that's it. I don't know how to have any kind of life when part of my heart is gone. I just exist til God calls me home.

by Karen Mckay
10 months ago

Dear Sonya,
Thank you for sharing about your devastating losses. To lose 2 sons has to be the worst. Especially under the circumstances. I, too, lost my youngest child to suicide. My son, Jordan, took his life almost a year ago, August 23, 2020, the day after his 30th birthday. I'm still lost in all the pain and still ask why. I should have known. I got that horrible call that night from his girlfriend that Jordan hung himself. I just remember screaming and saying no, as I dropped to my knees. I was in a fog for the first few days. I don't remember much. With his birthday coming up, and the first-year anniversary of his death, I can still picture that night, as if it were yesterday. I barely leave my house and suffer from depression, PTSD, and high anxiety. I just exist by myself. I have 2 older kids I still try to be mom to. It's hard. I myself am 60 years old. I pray to God for strength every day.

by Kimberly Nelson
1 year ago

My son Christopher was taken from me on April 16, 2020, five days after he turned 21. This forever changed my world that night. April 16th at 9:32 pm police respond to hearing gunshots. When they arrived, my son was lying on the ground. He had been shot at 8 times and approximately 7 of the bullets hit him. I have nightmares about that night every night. I cannot bear the pain and emptiness that now lays in my heart forever. This is such a heart-wrenching and soul-ripping tragedy. My sweet boy was just that, a sweet boy who loved everyone and would light a room up with his big wonderful, precious smile. Now I'll never get to see that smile nor hear his voice. I look for any sign from him to let me know he's still with me, and I know he is spiritually, but it's the physically not being here that hurts to my core. Knowing I'll never see him get married and I'll never get to meet my grandkids from my sweet boy. His bloodline died that night he was taken so viciously from me.

by Judi Tabler
1 year ago

Dear Kimberly, I share your grief. It's a nightmare, I know. It's too new now for you to cope well, and I remember when our son died that I almost couldn't endure it. My pain is better now, but know that your experience is life-changing and life-altering. If you are a Christian, pray and ask the Lord to help your shock and sorrow. The world we are living in is very evil, Kimberly, and awful things happen to good people. Cry when you need to, scream, sob....There will be many times you want to just talk about Christopher with someone. Find a good ear...hopefully someone who has experienced a loss like yours. No one understands better than someone who has had a similar experience. You are not alone. We are all here to help you. We share your grief. We lost our son in January of 2018, and I still have those hard times. By all means, talk about your son and grieve. It's your path to sanity, dear Kimberly. Sincerely, Judi Tabler

by Sylv Evans
2 years ago

Zac was murdered on 24/01/2015. A low life scum bag, drug dealer attacked him and nearly decapitated him using a two-foot machete. Zac did nothing. His 19 years on this earth was extinguished in 15 seconds. The lowlife got 14 years in prison. Zac will never be forgotten by me or his twin brother, other brother and sister. He lives on in his two young nephews as they both have his name. Life will never be the same. Zac had just started his own decorating business. His name will live on as he is now the sponsor of Increase The Peace, a charity set up to reduce the number of young people involved in knife crime. Please treasure every moment with your children. Life without them is unbearable.

by Sylvia R. Vergara
2 years ago

If only I knew for certain, without any doubt that you know I am here missing you, listening for your footsteps in the early morning at my room door to let me know your leaving for work. In the early evening I sat watching TV, waiting for you to enter through the door. No more, no more. I can't stand the thought I won't have those simple routines with you anymore. My son, the last 8 years living with you have been a blessing. You picked me up when I fell in the kitchen that morning. Then you cooked us lunch. My son, you were my rock. Reliable, hard-working, amazing loving father. You were only 42 and had plans and dreams, unfinished projects because you were a procrastinator you thought you had time to work on your various projects. I could never resist walking up and gently rubbing your bald head when I found you asleep on the couch. I'll never be able to lovingly touch you like that again and it breaks my heart. My dearest son, I will see you again someday.

by Judi Tabler
2 years ago

You said it so well; exactly how I feel. I have to remind myself that a part of us dies too when we lose our sons. The hope I have is that God's love will deepen me and tenderize me to be compassionate and aware of others who have also sustained such a loss. Your words blessed me.

by Betty Johnston
2 years ago

Thank you, Barbara, for writing such a beautiful poem and capturing what I have been feeling for 2 years now. My son passed away January 5, 2018, from the hands of a drunk driver on the freeway. All my son was doing was trying to get home. Your poem makes me realize that I'm not the only mother who feels this way, and everything that you have written is exactly what I would say or how I have been feeling. Our feelings of sorrow is not us being over-dramatic, but they are genuine. I loved my son very much, and he was our only son. I have two wonderful daughters, but my son was my best friend. We all have a common bond that we lost our son, our best friend. Thank you again for writing what every mom who has lost a son feels. Thank you for acknowledging us and our sons.

by Cassandra Ward
2 years ago

I was 4 months pregnant when our baby's heartbeat stopped. It was the saddest and hardest day of our live. Miss you, Jerramiah.

by Judi Tabler
1 year ago

I am so sorry. It must be such heartache and loss for you. Someday you will see that baby boy again, and he will recognize you, and you will know him. I pray for your peace and gentle assurance of that truth Judi Tabler

by TYLER
2 years ago

I hope you have found peace, Cassandra. I lost my son a few days ago and nearly my wife with him as well. She was 15 weeks pregnant when a severe rare infection of the placenta struck them. I found this website here late at night in hopes of finding a glimmer of hope that things will be all right. I feel like there is still a long way to go.

by AngelA Bommerscheim
2 years ago

I lost my son after holding his hand for 24-1/2 years. It happened 12/24/17. I wish I could have been there to hold his hand so that he was not alone. He did nothing wrong. He was a wonderful young man and had so much more to do and to see here. His laugh was powerfully loud, his smile was perfect and naturally bright and white. He loved his family and was loved back more than words can describe. His heart was just too big and he died a sudden death, alone. I wish I could hug him and laugh with him every day. He was my best friend, my baby, and I loved and cherished every day of his life. He was definitely a blessing. My life will never be the same. My tears will never quit falling, and my love for him will never, never go away. I talk to him and about him constantly, but I have never had a dream of him. I want to see his sweet face again and hold him in my dreams. Can I ask if anyone else has had this issue with not dreaming of your love one that has passed?

by Lisa Thompson
1 year ago

I lost my daughter on August 4, 2018, and I have not had a dream about her. I really wish I would. I miss her just as much today as I did that awful day 2 years ago. She was only 21 and had a bright future.

by Anna
2 years ago

I lost my son a year ago. I had a dream once with him a month after. He told me he hit his head so hard, felt nothing and couldn't think of anything or anyone...I took that to mean he was dead. Not a comforting dream at all, but at least it was something.

by Tina Richards
2 years ago

I never thought it would be me writing about my deceased son. There was a knock at our door at 3 am Sept. 21st. My husband opened the door and was greeted by 2 state officers and 1 coroner. As they stepped in, I asked, "Is it my son?" The coroner said, "Yes, ma'am." I then asked him, "Is he ok?" His reply was, "No, ma'am." I said, "He's dead, isn't he?" His last words to me were, as he was bowing his head, "Yes, ma'am."

I went immediately into disbelief and shock. Garrett was 24, 6'3", 200lbs, dark brown hair and green eyes. He just started his own construction business and met a sweet girl. The police said he was going well over 100 mph and failed to negotiate a sharp turn. They said there was 200 ft of skid marks. My son Garrett was NOT wearing a helmet. He took the full force of the impact to his face and head. He was dead on impact. My husband, three other children, and myself 24-7. I can't look at pictures or even say his name. How do I survive this?
Tina

by Judi Tabler
1 year ago

I know. I understand. I am so sorry. It's so important to come to this site and read about others and share your heart. You see, there are not many who understand, really understand this grief. It's best to talk about Garrett with others who hear you and get it. That's where the comfort and ministry is. Grief. You will fluctuate between anger, guilt, denial, and acceptance. That's ok. Pray, cry, rest, talk to others, listen, pray again, stay busy. God bless you, dear Tina. I have had your experience.. Judi Tabler

by Natalie C NN
2 years ago

My son Matthew was missing yesterday of last year. He probably passed that day, but I did not know till 8/18/18. So we decided to use the date as the date my son passed. The day he was missing started my unbearable pain and we did get some closure. I tried to not think of him all the time and occupied mindfulness with other things. But suddenly, it hit me and was uncontrollable. Not even a year passed before people around me no longer cared about my son. Friends became acquaintances. They will not grieve. My son was only 21 years old. He had a very serious mental disorder and was unable to socialize since 14 years. But he cared of me until last and he took many of pictures with me. I do not even know how I can tell how much I miss him and love him. I continuously love him until I die, but where can I take this pain and how I can show my love to him? Buying flowers? Buying food he liked and I eating it later. What helps?

by Sharon White
2 years ago

Natalie,
Your son is in heaven now. He is no longer suffering from the illness he once had. Instead, his head is clear. He is happy and enjoying life the way God intended it. If you want to do something in his honor, there are many things you can do. Did he have certain things he enjoyed? If so, then carry it on in his honor. For instance, some people love animals, so a person could honor them by carrying on this love by helping animals in some way. Since he suffered from mental illness, then fight for better conditions and laws for others with mental illness, or volunteer your time with them. You could plant a tree in his honor, and as it grows, it will remind you of how time is passing by and how eventually you will see him again. Write a legacy book with all your memories in it, maybe even publish it so others will also know your son. And of course, you could buy his favorite foods and eat and think of the memories of when you watched him enjoying it.

by Anna
2 years ago

We lost our son 30 Dec 18. We unveiled his headstone 3 weeks ago. You think you cannot survive this, but you can and will. The way we got through it all is with gratitude. Being grateful for anything and everything we could be grateful for....that he didn't kill anyone else when he had his bike accident, that he and I got to say good-bye to each other that morning before I left for work, that he left us 4 beautiful grandchildren, that he loved and knew he was loved, that he loved his brother and that his brother loved him, that he is buried in our front yard to visit at our whim, that we had him for as long as we did, and the list goes on. We laugh and cry together when needed...the crying is becoming less frequent. Life will never be the same again without our boy, but we refuse to stay sad. It will get easier. Just cry when you need to cry. It seems a bit simplistic, but it's true...I just woke up one day, and I knew I would be okay. It is possible because it happened to me.

by Judi Tabler
2 years ago

I wish I had an answer for you, Natalie. It's been just a year for you, and I will say that time does help. But life is never the same again; not necessarily bad...just not the same. Our son died the 20th of January 2018, so I know that your pain will get better. But you need to grieve, and when you have days when it hits you over the head like a sack of cement, then just pull back, cry, and do something positive and nice for yourself. Maybe watch a romantic movie on TV or hey, scrub the floor (really!), or play a game on the internet. But do cry, and do grieve. Friends don't get it, Natalie, unless one of them has lost a child. Don't be disgusted with them. It's not their fault. Find friends who have had a loss like yours who will listen and understand. Love and prayers.

by Brendan McCabe
2 years ago

It is the is the 1st anniversary today 10/6/2019 of my son Seamus' death. I feel broken hearted. He was 44 years old and died when he fell and hit his head off the side of a bath. He was an alcoholic and was fighting his demons. He tried so hard to deal with his addiction. He lived in Australia when he died but was brought home to be buried. I find some comfort in knowing that his friends in Austalia really loved him. He lived in Lancaster before Australia and some of his friends contacted me and were obviously devastated. I could tell they thought the world of him. I sometimes wonder if this pain will ever go, especially today. I love him and will love him forever. I would give anything to see him once more and put my arms aroud him and tell him i love him. God bless Seamus my son -Dad

by Sonia Stayton
2 years ago

My son passed away May 26, 2019. He was 40 years old. He had battled brain cancer for over 5 years. He fought so hard. He was able to maintain a full life until January 2019. Then the cancer became very aggressive. The seizure started and everyone of them took something from him.

As his mother, I feel like I'm having a bad dream. Even though we have been told for 5 years that there was no cure, I still held tight to my faith and believe he would be healed. Our miracle was that we had him for 5 good years.

by Donna Philips
9 months ago

My amazing son struggled with colon cancer for only 18 months. He was an amazing son, brother, husband and professor. He only worried about our grief, not his pain. He left us as he lived....on his own terms.

by Sandra Rose
2 years ago

My son was murdered on April 2, 2019. I held him in my arms as he took his last breath. He was a momma's boy, didn't care who knew. My heart/soul are crushed. I miss him every second of life.

by Anna
2 years ago

Hi Sandra, I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. There are so many of us, and it keeps happening. No one can ever know your pain...only another mother or father who has lost a son will know, and there seems to be quite a few of us. So very sorry. The pain will never go, but it will become less.

by Tina Runions
3 years ago

I, too, lost my son. He died 8 month ago in an ATV accident. He was just moving the bike from the front yard to the back and decided to take it around the block. Somehow he hit a tree right across the street. The severity of his injuries from the accident left him in a coma. I was praying for a miracle. So after 13 days and no change in his condition. I made the decision to take him off life support. I was the only one there in the room that day as I held his hand and he took his last breath. Even with the direction of the doctors, I've been questioning myself. Did I make the right decision? My heart hurts every minute of every day. I'm mad at God for taking my son. I was mad at the doctors for not being able to help him. I was mad at the friends that he was with him when the accident happened. I'm sorry for everyone's loss. Thank you for sharing your stories. It helps to know I'm not alone in this journey. Hopefully someday I'll learn to forgive.

by Former Solider
2 years ago

I'm sorry for your pain. I am a single father who had one son after several deployments. My last, 2004, my son was so happy he wanted to be just like me. In 2011 he went to Afghanistan. Unreal, who would have thought that the war would have been that long. When he got home it was a relief, but he started getting sick. Come to find out, he had a form of ALS. He said to me, "Pop, don't worry I'm going to live my life in the time I have," and he did. He did so much. He fell in love, got married, and his wife had a beautiful baby girl he never had the opportunity to see. She was a few months pregnant. I miss all the time he and I had together. He was always looking out for me. He had a great heart and caring soul. Now that I'm alone you don't really realize how much one person can be your world. He was a great kid. He passed at 26. It sucks. It's been two years and the depression has not let go. I know how you feel, and I'm very sorry.

by Natalie C NN
3 years ago

I lost my son August 18, 2018. He couldn't deal with his illness. He had so much pain. None of my close friends understand my deeply unbearable pain. It makes me more tortured. I keep busy and try not to think of my son much. It's too painful, and I'm afraid to talk of my son because of how they'll react. My son lived in this world 21 years. I dreamed he was missing but he came back and looked at me and said, "Mum, I'm here. Are you okay?" I dreamed he was standing by the door. I saw a white butterfly many times. I believe he comforted me. Even my grief group mothers did not believe. I believe he was in heaven and not sick anymore. I believe I will meet him someday.

by Susan Campbell
2 years ago

I lost my son the same day as yours. He was 32. He had a bout of depression and was in the hospital on suicide watch but was released 2 days later. I never saw him alive again. By beautiful only son is now reunited with his 19-year-old sister. The light in my life has gone out. My heart and soul is broken.

by Gwenneth
2 years ago

I've lost my son on the 28th of April 2019. He battled with leukemia for 8 years. He was only 13 years old when he passed on. It's a great loss, and I'm still angry at God for not giving my son the healthy, normal life that he and the rest of us prayed for. He was my life, my heart, and my greatest gift. I miss him with all my heart and soul. People like to say it will get better, but it doesn't. They say he's in a better place. Why couldn't this be his better place? I'm forever broken. He was an awesome child and had all faith in God. Love you always, my baby.

by Judi Tabler
3 years ago

On yes. We all are in a very special group now. We understand each other's pain and the need to both listen and speak. We need each other. I am so sorry you have lost your son, too. I truly believe that this young man has spoken to you and comforted you. You know that to be true. People can believe you or not, but that doesn't negate the fact. May God bless you and heal your heart

by Judi Tabler
3 years ago

To Bonnie C, who lost your son to alcoholism in a foreign country...yes, I understand your pain. You spent many years trying to help him. We did the same with our son. Good times, bad times, uphill, downhill...a real roller coaster. This hope, then hope deferred, makes the heart sick, and eventually we, the helpers, are as sick as the loved one. Such intense grief; but just going through it will bring healing to your body and soul. It took us months to begin to recover even physically from all of this. And the grief? It hits us in waves now, but for us, its been 15 months. No doubt, this experience changes us all. Some things will no longer mean much to you. There will be feelings, and concerns, and encounters that will touch you deeply. I grieve for you. God bless you. Eventually, your heart will let go of some of the stress. And there will be a tomorrow. Lovingly.

by Char Horsfield
3 years ago

I just lost my son...my only child...this week from cancer. He was 40. My heart is shredded and my life will never be the same.

by Judi Tabler
3 years ago

I am so sorry. As I read this, I share your grief. We are supposed to bear one another's griefs and sorrows. Since we have now lost two of our children, I truly understand that instruction. We can help bear it with you. Others have carried us also. Your life will not be the same again. But you will live. You will laugh again but not now. You are in my prayers.

by Janet Brown
3 years ago

I lost my eldest son, aged 45 years, on February 2, 2019, and the pain is unbearable. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to us, he had two blood clots passing around his body and they finally lodged in the artery serving blood to his lungs. If there is any comfort to this senseless loss, he passed away at home peacefully in his sleep, in bed next to his beloved wife. It is the sudden taking away that hurts more than anything as we never got to say goodbye. He was the most sensitive, caring gentle giant and always had time to say he loved me and always hugged me. That is what I will miss the most. How I wished I had told him more often how much I loved him, and I feel so guilty for not doing so.

by Judi Tabler
3 years ago

Dear Janet, I know, I know. We lost our son last January 2018, in a one car accident. It's so hard. But I want you to know that it will get better. But it is so important to grieve and talk about him and have others around you who understand. There is a book that a friend gave to me and now I give it to others when they suffer a loss like you have had. It is on Amazon and called Tear Soup. It's really good and talks about grief like making tear soup. You need to make your tear soup and you need others to help you. It's more than that of course, but I recommend you get it. Your son loved you dearly, and he wouldn't want his mama to grieve over not telling him more often how you loved him. He knows. Don't feel guilty. But mourn however you want. It is so necessary. Love to you.

by Anna
3 years ago

Hi Bonnie, my heart aches reading this. My son died 5 months ago, but I have the privilege of him being buried in our yard to visit and cry at our whim. I don't pretend to know what it would be like if he were in another country because he is with me, but I feel your pain. I'm so sorry for your loss. What has got me this far is knowing he is now at peace. Free from his demons. Thank you so much for sharing. The loss of my son is righteous because he is at peace. I will now celebrate my boy...his struggle, his strength, his love, his peace, his awesomeness! He is at peace as is your boy. He would not want you to be sad. He'd not like that you are in so much pain. Breathe, be thankful that we had our boys as long as we did, smile...maybe not today, but know it will be okay sometime soon. Big hugs...

by Anna
3 years ago

We lost our son 30/9/18 in a motorbike accident. I visit this site regularly as part of my healing process. The stories I read are heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing. It isn't getting any easier and the tears are not getting any less, but the tears are changing from tears of sadness for my loss to tears of pride and solace for my son's peace he is now experiencing. He was a tortured soul fighting his demons daily but at the same time such a caring, loving, and thoughtful boy with the best hugs in the world. I miss his presence, his voice, his hugs, his yummy cooking and his kindness. His daughter who has lived with us for 3 years said a beautiful thing. She said, "Daddy is still part of the family but in a different way!"...from the mouth of babes. We live in a place where we can bury our loved ones in our yard. He has pride of place looking over the entire property and us. We carry on as usual around him and tend to his grave, play, work, listen to music, and talk to him daily.

by Donna Campbell
6 months ago

Thank you for sharing. Beautiful story of having his resting place at your home. I lost my son on 08/29/21. He was 41 years and 350 days young. We buried him on what would have been his 42 name day. He suffered from multiple broken bones and serious injuries in a car accident in late 2019. Recovery was ongoing.

He was a talented self-taught guitarist, vocalist, and song writer. He was teaching me to play and we all loved for him to play for us. He had a heart of gold and reached out to everyone to check in even when he did not feel well. We talked every morning and all throughout the day. He taught me many things the last two years of his life. Mainly, patience and forgiveness.

The only peace I have is he loved Jesus with all his heart and he is not in my past. Praise God my son is in my future! Life will never be the same, no matter how hard I try, but I'm praying that my pain will turn into strength...until we are together again...

by Patti Diaz
1 year ago

My son's 26th birthday would have been April 21st. I lost him to (allegedly) suicide in June of 2018. Death certificate stated June 15th. Coroner states he'd been deceased for at least 3 weeks. Locked in a hot house for that amount of time. As a retired RN..I can deal with his death the best I can. But knowing what I know and getting the police reports (that are absolutely contradictory!!!) the circumstances of my son's death will haunt me forever.

by Kathleen Zepp
1 year ago

I lost my son and his wife 7/8/2020 in a horrible motorcycle accident. I, too, visit the site as part of my healing process. I also go to his house and sit on the back deck and just think. This is the hardest pain I have ever felt in my 73 years. He was 48 years old. I did enroll in a bereave class with a counselor, which has helped, although most people do not understand. I miss him so much; at times I feel helpless. I realize I have a long journey ahead of me. I hope I can get through this. I do talk to him daily. Thank you for sharing and listening.

by Clara Manley
1 year ago

We, too, lost our son, Neil, 8 days after a motorbike accident, a year ago to-day. He was 35 years old. He lived for his bike. He started riding when he was 6 years old. The accident happened 2 minutes from our house. We heard the ambulance, police cars and air ambulance go past our house. When my husband went to have a look, we found it was Neil. They wouldn't let him see him. He was in tears when he rang up. The pain does not lessen. It gets worse. My heart physically hurts sometimes. I still hear his voice. I still hear the last thing he said to me. I still see the last time he went out of the house. As I go around the house I see all the little presents he'd bought me over the years. We have his ashes in his room. I talk to him now and again. We were at the hospital with him when he left us. The hospital did a few prints of his hand. We have them framed. I place my hand on his every time I go to his room. That way I feel I am touching him.

by Sarah
2 years ago

I also lost my son aged 27 in August 2019. Also on a motorbike. The pain is unbearable, and we are still waiting for answers.

by CAROLE RASCOE
2 years ago

I lost my son, my only child, in a motorcycle accident on July 10, 2019. There is nothing that life can possibly throw me that can hurt as much as this. Kevin #forever32 my beloved son, wonderful father and loyal friend, I miss you honey. Love, mom

by Gixxacath
2 years ago

We, too, lost a friend in a motorcycle accident. We don't visit the place he died now. Yes, he was going too fast, but the council had changed the road he was on that he normally does not give way, so he went through. A women hit him, and he died instantly.

by CHRISTINA KURTZ
3 years ago

Beautiful poem...I'm comforted some from reading the stories. I just lost my son, 23 years old, from a hit-and-run accident just three weeks ago on 12/23. I understand the comment of preparing for Christmas but ending up with a funeral. But actually last month was a total nightmare for our family. I don't know how I'm even functioning. Because the week prior my boys lost their aunt, and my son Christopher had been very close to her. We had just come back from paying our respects (out of town) and that same night I lost Christopher. I never got to see him or hug him before losing him. I don't know what to do most days. I feel like I'm just wondering around. I guess this won't get any better, but I did want to compliment you on the poem, and my heart does go out to all of you who are going through this.

by Sharie Deal
6 months ago

My heart breaks to read all these stories and most are motorcycles accidents...
I, too, have lost my first-born son. Jonathan was 38 years old. He loved to race bikes. On October 13th, 2021, his choices got him killed. He used to say, "Mom, if I die on a bike, know that I was doing what I loved." That does not ease our pain any less. Although I am blessed with many videos of him, blessing others on his page, I will never hear him say, "Hey, Mom," like only he could do, but I will see him again one day in heaven.

by L Robinson
3 years ago

Thank you for this lovely poem. It will be 2 years tomorrow (29th Nov '18) since I lost my lovely boy. I came home from work to find him gone, lying on the floor of his bedroom. He was only 19 years old. Handsome, loving, loyal, modest and mature, he was the perfect son and he loved us all so much. He died of a brain hemorrhage, no warning, no symptoms, nothing. They say it was very quick and he wouldn't have known what was happening to him. There are no words to describe our pain. One minute, you're making plans for Christmas and the next you're making funeral plans - something no parent should ever have to do. My younger son, now 18, keeps us going, but I know deep inside that I'm empty. I crave the day when I'll be reunited with him. To feel his hugs and hear his hearty laugh again.

by Gixxacath
2 years ago

Dear Janet and all the other mums who have lost loved ones, your loved ones are never far away. They sit on clouds, watching down on you every day. They watch you cry yourself to sleep and hug you when you go to sleep. They don't feel pain anymore, so the next time you cry, know they are right beside you every time, sending hugs.

by Laureen Perez
3 years ago

I know how you feel. It was 5 years July 29th that I lost my 28-year-old son. He slipped and banged his head coming into the house after getting the mail; the ground was wet. They said it was whiplash and it (blood) would reabsorb. Four days later he died sitting on the couch with a cup of tea by his side. We had dinner and spent the night before together. He was fine. We had so much fun. I can still see his smile and remember our hug goodnight. We had plans for the next afternoon. I talked to him at 5:30 in the morning and when I called at 12:30 he didn't answer. I talked to my son daily. We're extremely close, and yes, I still talk and sing to him. I know they say time helps, but I miss him more. My grandson is 3, and he keeps me going. He never got to meet his uncle, but he knows who he is -- my heart goes out to all who has suffered the loss of a child.

by Mohammed
3 years ago

I'm sorry to hear this. I lost my 9-year-old son too. There was nothing wrong with him either. He woke up in the middle of the night...vomited and collapsed, that's it. He was gone.

by Subhash Bansal
3 years ago

These poems motivate the sufferers to speak from their hearts. They come to know that they are not the only ones to undergo such grievous situations. Being one of such victims, this provides a little strength. Seeing a deeper grief than our own becomes a solace. The life has to be lived. No one can give away the life. The poem is great because it helps to vent out the inner feelings of a living sad soul. My tributes to all the gone souls, and I pray Almighty to grant sufficient strength to the bereaved families to bear their irreparable losses. May God bless the departed souls.
-Subhash Bansal

by Anna Garber
3 years ago

I just lost my oldest son on August 31, 2018. He was and always will be my very best friend. He was in a motorcycle crash while he was away from home in the Air Force. Two days before the accident, he was home on leave for almost a month. The longest he has ever come home in 4 years. We had such a great visit. We took a little road trip and blasted music while we laughed and cried and sang at the top of our lungs. The next weekend his father and I renewed our wedding vows for our 25th anniversary. He made the best toast ever. I love and miss my boy so much. How can this be real?

by Anna
3 years ago

I lost my son September 30, 2018 in a motorbike accident also. He was 32. I got to say good-bye that morning before I left for work and got to hear him say "good-bye mum" back to me. He made a lovely curry that day just hours before the accident which his young daughters ate the next day. He and his dad spent a lot of time together the two weeks prior, reminiscing and laughing a lot. He spent his last few hours with one of his best mates, and he cut down the tree I had been asking him to cut down for weeks. Three days prior he cleaned his motorbike, which he had never even once cleaned before. He and his 9 year old daughter had never been so close and happy together...so many things to be grateful for....but I still miss my boy with all my heart...but I must remember to be grateful to have had him for as long as we did. So many parents have lost their child in worst circumstances, so I will continue to be grateful for everything.

by Judi Tabler
3 years ago

Your sharing of grief on the lost of your sons...all of you...touched me deeply, and I am in tears. We lost our son in January at the age of almost 34. Our son was killed in a one car accident. He fell asleep, and although it was not an overdose that took him, it was the drugs that caused him to fall asleep. I want to appeal to our kids who think that they are not vulnerable...I just thank the Lord that he didn't hurt anyone else.

He was gifted, artistic, bright, and tender. I believe that he never felt like he "fit" in this world. Oh, he enjoyed so much: skiing, music, writing songs, playing his guitar, cooking, girls! But he was a tender sprout in a world where he felt he had to escape, so he did it with alcohol and eventually meth. He didn't want to die. But he did. And it shouldn't have ever happened. I know you all feel the same. The only comfort we have other than God is each other - talking about it and sharing. I heard lately that we never recover from grief. But we can go through it, day by day, living life to its fullest. We will never be the same will we? The good in it all is this: we understand the pain of others. And we can be a comfort for them.

by Betty Hazen, Canada
1 year ago

The circumstances of your loss are so similar to the loss of my son on April 5/20, 6 days before his 33rd birthday. He had the same struggles and his car hit a rock cut at high speed. I was with him at the hospital for many hours on life support and spent the time telling him the names of all those who loved him unconditionally. What you have said has helped me immensely. After a year of searching online, I find this site of sharing and connecting to be my only solace. I'm always concerned that people will think I'm crazy when I talk about him. Someone suggested that I should 'let it go.' I'm very conscious now about trying to act normal. I feel so pent up, unable to share my grief, just knowing that your story is so much like mine makes me feel less isolated in my grief. Thank you so very much for sharing.

by Anna
3 years ago

I am so sorry for your loss. My son died in almost the same circumstances. He drank and took drugs. He also did not want to die, but his recklessness finally caught up with him in the end. He also did not feel like he fit in this world. He couldn't understand how people could be so cruel to each other and thought negatively of the world. He could not see the good in the world...just the bad. I take comfort in the fact that he is now at peace and his demons cannot harass him anymore. Thank you for sharing your story of your son. Our sons are now at peace.

by Mildred Bales
3 years ago

My son was only 23 when he left me. He was in an accident and never made it out of the operating room. I had all the faith in the world he would make it, but it was not to be. I also lost my nephew who was with him. I have gone to the scene of the accident, looked at the truck, and spoke with EMS workers and the fireman who spoke to my son last. My son said they hydroplaned. I'm not sure away happened and will never know. What I do know is I miss my baby boy beyond words.

by Former Solider
2 years ago

My son was 26; he deployed to Afghanistan in 2011. When he returned, we found out he had a form of ALS. He was my only child. I was his baseball coach and football coach. I had custody of him because his mother took off; I really didn't care. We had great times together. I blame myself. I deployed several times to Afghanistan and Iraq. My last deployment was 2004. He always wanted to be like me. I never thought he would be in the same war. I have stage 4 liver cancer. I heard vets coming from deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan are getting a form of cancer or ALS. Strange, right! But like the Vietnam war they didn't admit anything until just recently, 50 years later. I'm so sorry about your son. It's been two years now for me. His wife had a beautiful baby girl he never met. She was 3 months pregnant when he passed away. Well, God bless. I wish you some peace and hope you have family around. I heard it helps. I have nobody. It's okay, I have my pets, the gym, and a few good friends.

by Judi Tabler
3 years ago

I am so sorry. I totally empathize with you. You said it all.

by Susan Taylor
3 years ago

My precious prince, my only child, my son Jimmy, passed last year at age 42. His birthday was July 29th. I'm sure we have shared sadness and pain on that day. I wish you comfort, and please know you will never walk alone.
Many bright blessings,
Susan

by Bonnie Cison
3 years ago

My 42-year-old son died 10 days ago in another country and was buried two days later in another country. I am here because I need to find out how to go on living and breathing. I torture myself this way, by reading all these stories. My boy was an alcoholic. We spent many years trying to help him, to help him help himself. In the end, the disease won. It destroyed his body. We lost. I lie in the fetal position and it's the only place for me right now. I ache all over and I can hardly breathe. My tears dehydrate me. There seems to be no remedy for this pain.

by Laureen Perez
3 years ago

I lost my son Kurt at 28 years old. It will be 5 years July 29, 2018. Time heals all wounds they say, but for me this isn't true. I lost my only son and truly my best friend. It feels like only yesterday. He slipped on the tile floor with wet shoes after getting the mail. The C.T. scan showed a mild bleed, like whiplash. We were told it will reabsorb with no ill effects. Four days later he didn't wake up. The most devastating day of my life. I was fortunate that we spent the night before together. We had pancakes for dinner, one of his favorites. We laughed, he played his guitar, we sang. We had a great time. We joked around, told stories of our memories. I can still see his perfect smile and big green eyes when we hugged and said goodnight. I remember the shirt he wore that night and the plans we made for tomorrow. I never imagined after a beautiful night like that would I would be drowning in my sorrow. I love and miss him more every day. I will never be the same!!

by Guillian Rose Mabayo
3 years ago

I'm so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my 7-year-old son August 20, 2018. He was diagnosed with kidney failure and it was already at its final stage. I was and am still devastated when I lost him. But the thought of him being no longer sick makes me feel a little bit at ease. The doctors told me when he was in the ICU that he'll just be bed ridden if we don't let him go. So I made the hardest decision in my life; I let him go. Even though it was killing me, I did let him go. It's still hard waking up every day without him by my side, but his younger brother still needs me, so I must stay strong. I had a dream of him just the night after his death. It was blurry at first and it fast-forwarded through events. The last thing I saw was his smiling face looking at me, and I heard him thanking me, and that's when I woke up. I thought I should be the one thanking him for giving me so much happiness for 7 years of his existence.

by Diane Peters
3 years ago

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. I have lost the only two boys I had. My youngest would have been 39 on March 21, 2018, and my oldest passed on February 2, 2018. I don't know how to act. I want to tell my family that I don't think I could make it without my warriors. They were inseparable! When my oldest son passed away it broke all our hearts. My two boys were always close. It was just the 3 of us for most of their young lives. So when my oldest passed away my youngest told his girlfriend that he just wanted to be with his brother. My youngest did not harm himself intentionally; he just missed his brother as I did. I wore their coats and t-shirts. I don't know what to say except I believe their spirits are with me and one day I will be with my boys. May the Lord help ease the pain of losing your son.

by Tammy Craft
3 years ago

I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. I also lost my only son 2 days after you did, July 31, 2018. He had cirrhosis of the liver and caught pneumonia and was sent to hospice. He was there for 5 days and passed away. I was devastated. My world came to an end. I have cried and screamed inside every day since he has left me. We had always lived together. We were best friends. We only had each other. I feel so alone! It's not fair. I've prayed for God to take me instead, but no. How does a mother go on without her boy? God, please give me the strength to do so.