It makes no sense,
not in the normal cycle of life.
"A child should never in death
precede the parents," they tell me.
"Time will heal," I hear.
"He's in a better place," I hear
from family,
from friends,
from colleagues.
They sound like nursery rhymes,
naïve refrains sung over and over.
I am angry,
for I am his mother, his friend,
his protector.
"Get out of the sun.
Don't forget your umbrella.
Don't swim where I can't see you."
I even wallow in the thought
of time passing without him.
Is that all that remains?
My anger, my sorrow, my pain?
How can the loss of time together
become less of a loss tomorrow?
How will I ever live again?
A sudden reflex motion,
I open my wallet,
a photo falls out.
In one hand he is holding
a red balloon,
in the other hand
his well-used blanket.
He is laughing.
I can see that.
I can hear that.
And I let go of my anger,
perhaps not forever,
but for now, he is beside me,
and I am laughing too.
The Loss Of A Son And A Mother's Grief
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I lost my precious son and best friend 11 months ago. I don't know how much longer I can take the pain. It was sudden and a week after his 46th birthday. My only child. I miss your beautiful...
Loss
©
Richard Kalfus
more by Richard Kalfus
Published by Family Friend Poems January 2016 with permission of the Author.
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