Rape Poem by Teens

I live in a rural Alaskan village. When I was ten years old, my best friend began making unwanted sexual advances, and eventually he began to rape me. At first I tried to fight, but he held a knife to my throat and told me he would kill my parents when they came home if I fought back or told them what happened. So I didn't, I hid the truth from them for most of a year, and every time they would leave for any reason, he would come back and rape me again, finally, I fought back and escaped.

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I was raped from 5 years old to 10 years old. My rapist was my own brother. I have flashbacks and nightmares. I remember going to the police and telling them everything then leaving thinking...

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Not A Victim Anymore

© more by Troy Dayln Bunker

Published: May 2016

Where once there was love, now only is pain,
I'll never have innocence, ever again.
He took it from me, my childhood,
he took away, all that was good.

Some mornings I, still wake up and cry,
others I curl up, and hope to die.
A knife at my throat, a hand on my ass,
I lay there and scream, but the pain doesn't pass.

He threatens to kill them, my mom and my dad,
if I tell them the truth, tell them he's bad.
So after he's done, I don't even fight,
I lay there and cry, the rest of the night.

My parents return, through the open door,
now I can't be his victim, anymore.
I have to hide it, what happened to me,
if I'm to protect them, they can't see.

I'm broken inside, a husk of a boy,
I have no life, I'm just his toy.
My parents depart, and he's back for more,
I feel like I'm dead, as I lay on the floor.

The pain never lessens, not one little bit,
just keeps deepening, like a bottomless pit.
He leaves again, opening the door,
says to be ready, when he wants more.

So I continue to lie, hide the pain inside,
wondering why, I shouldn't have died.
But now it makes sense, more and more,
I can't be his victim, anymore.

So when he returns, I steal the knife,
tell him to leave, get out of my life.
My parents return, and see my pain,
but I stopped it, from happening again.

I tell them the truth, what happened to me,
They told me they're sorry, now that they see.
But still I am broken, for still I see him,
still I'm in pain, for still I'm a victim.

I'll never get past it, the nights I was raped,
it's part of it now, how I was shaped.
I can't get justice, it's been too long,
but it's not my fault, he was wrong.

One of these days, I hope to heal,
one of these days, I'll get him for real.
Now that you know, you know the truth,
so finally, I'll drop the pretense of youth.

I'm not the little boy, who was raped on the floor,
I promise myself, I'm not a victim anymore.

more by Troy Dayln Bunker

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Nekhalyn Duenog by Nekhalyn Duenog, philippines
  • 1 month ago

I was also abused by my own uncle when I was 5 years old. It leaves me with trauma. I've been in a relationship before. When my love tried to kiss me I just had a deja vu of what I've been through with my uncle.

  • Pamela Paige by Pamela Paige
  • 2 months ago

I was raped from 5 years old to 10 years old. My rapist was my own brother. I have flashbacks and nightmares. I remember going to the police and telling them everything then leaving thinking I had done the right thing. Then my foster mother tells me they let him go. I had days that I wanted to kill myself. I had gone into 30 foster care homes and hospitals. I still can't beleve they had let him go back out there to rape other people. I will never get over that.

  • Jess M Stokes by Jess M Stokes, Enterprise Alabama
  • 2 months ago

I hate to hear that. He will have to answer on judgement day. I can kind of relate. I was molested when I was 4 by my sister's dad, and I told my "mom" when I was older, and she called me a liar, but I know he will pay for his actions. I am praying for you, Pamela Paige.

  • Briana Baird by Briana Baird
  • 8 months ago

I will never be able to explain how it really felt, but I can tell you that it is not something you would want to experience. I can tell you that when you see a man who wants to rape you, run and don't look back.

  • Kayla  M. Callahan by Kayla M. Callahan
  • 3 years ago

I know how this feels because I've been through the same thing. It does get easier, but you'll never forget it. People who can do this to others have no heart and no soul. They take what they want without a thought of how you'll feel. I am so sorry for you and anyone else who has felt this pain.

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