STOP Suicide Poem

Grieving Cousin's Suicide

My cousin was my best friend, and sadly, he took his own life. I wish I could have helped him and changed the outcome, but the past cannot be changed. This poem is based on my grief and my regret and also my love for him and his life.

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I've struggled a lot over the past year in a severe depressive episode. I've had suicidal thoughts and wanted to end it more times than I can say, but your words are grounding for me. I read...

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My Best Friend's Departure


Published by Family Friend Poems November 2011 with permission of the Author.

I jumped; you caught me.
I laughed; you joked.
I was down; you picked me up.
I crumbled; you glued me back together.
I loved you; you loved me back.

You jumped; I couldn't catch you.
You forgot to laugh; I couldn't remind you.
You were down; I couldn't hold you.
You crumbled; I had no glue.
You loved me; I still love you.

Without any warning or sign,
You ventured to a world divine.
I refused to say goodbye,
Yet tonight I cry.
My tears are for you, my friend,
But our legacy will not end.
For I shall see you soon,
But first I have living to do.
I promise I won't forget.
Your face is embedded in my heart.


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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Mcallister Jake by Mcallister Jake
  • 3 months ago

You should be proud of yourself for sharing this moving poem. I can see this saving lives and helping people to think a little more about what they may have with them. One person, may think about the support they may be able to find while another may find a way to support those with them who are struggling. Thank you so much for sharing this with me, I think this will help me to make the right choices moving forward as I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and I hear the story of my loved ones in your writing. Thank you, keep writing, you are so good at it. I am so sorry for your lose and hope it is magical when you meet again! ❤️

  • Anon by Anon
  • 4 years ago

I've struggled a lot over the past year in a severe depressive episode. I've had suicidal thoughts and wanted to end it more times than I can say, but your words are grounding for me. I read it in the voice of one of my friends, and it reminds me of why I need to hold on. Thank you. Your words truly left a mark on me in the best way.

  • Denise Buchanan by Denise Buchanan
  • 5 years ago

I really wish I had emotions. You see, I can only feel a couple emotions. One is depression or sadness, two is love. I can only feel one type of love: me and another person, say a boyfriend or girlfriend, but this did touch me.

  • Denise Nicole Buchanan by Denise Nicole Buchanan
  • 5 years ago

I know how this is. My friend keeps cutting her arms, and I'm telling her not to do this. With me being adopted, there have been times I've wanted to commit suicide, but I know that my loved ones will miss me, and my boyfriend will have grief.

  • Edward Day by Edward Day
  • 6 years ago

I love this poem, especially, "You crumbled, I had no glue."

  • Charity F. Wishon by Charity F. Wishon
  • 7 years ago

This poem has me crying because I lost my best friend to suicide. I wasn't there to help him or protect him. He was always there for me even on my darkest days. I always tried to be there for him, but I guess I missed one day. It's hard for me knowing that I should have been there for him. I should have called him like he kept trying to call me, but I guess I was too busy to answer.

  • Carina Spencer by Carina Spencer, North Lincolnshire, UK Poet
  • 8 years ago

I'm the author of this poem and every now and then I read it to remind me of how far I have come. At the time of writing this I was very lost and this was my way of expressing my feelings. I have never forgotten Dean, my life has been shaped by this tragedy but it also gave me the strength to achieve more than I could imagine. My heart is filled with such pride when I see the stories others have shared underneath mine. We are all survivors and we all share a story. Ours is we had to confront our worst fears of death and loss.
Thank you to anyone who has read this I was 17 when I wrote it and I honestly thought it would never be read. Remember the ones we love never truly leave us they guide us through our difficult times and maybe they didn't choose to die but to be our angels instead.

  • Martee Sauers by Martee Sauers
  • 4 years ago

Your words were incredibly touching. They captured exactly how my heart is feeling now. My husband was my hero. He saved me so many times. Both of us broken, together we felt whole. He went down into deeeeep depression and alcoholism and took his life. I couldn't see that he needed me in that desperate moment. Gone forever, I am left here to fade away. Glad you found growth and had the strength to find your way. I am not in that group, we had our 26 years.

  • Per,Sigbjorn,Risvik by Per,Sigbjorn,Risvik
  • 4 years ago

I know what you went through. I felt the same way when my cousin killed himself. This is really good. It helps me. Thanks for writing it.

  • Liv by Liv, MI
  • 9 years ago

This poem is so, so important. I read it for the first time about two and a half years ago, and it stuck with me ever since. Not a days goes by that I don't think of this poem, and that should make you proud, as the author. I don't need to tell you what I'm reminded of when I read or think of this poem, but it's just so beautiful, I can't help but proclaim it as my favorite, and I hope you're doing well and that you're healthy. I give you my sincerest apologies for what happened with your cousin, and I hope that you never forget him.

  • Holly Mull by Holly Mull, Eden NC
  • 9 years ago

August 16th, 2004; I remember that day so clearly in my mind. My brother picked me up from softball practice and took me home, my parents were cooking dinner while my sister and I were playing outside then all the sudden my mom came to the front door and screamed for us to get inside, I didn't know what was going on my parents were running around and rushed out the door, a few minutes later my dad's ex wife showed up to watch us. I still had no idea what was going on, then I heard over my dad's scanner "attempted suicide 2125 mill rd." my heart sank as I grabbed the phone book, I looked up my aunt and uncles address, that's when my worst fear came true. I waited in silence as the time passed for my parents to come home, when they did my dad confirmed my worst nightmare, he was gone, my uncle was gone, I had just lost my best friend in the entire world and I felt hopeless. The depression followed me in the years to come, the sleepless nights, the terrors and nightmares, the days of not being able to watch certain shows or breaking down in tears when I seen Halloween decorations hanging from trees, my life was hell. Then in high school came the days of cutting, doing drugs and the suicidal thoughts, I tried to talk to family but they swept it under the rug and made me feel like I was over reacting. Then came the day I decided to end it all, I grabbed all the pill bottles I could find and just started taking things, I remember feeling dizzy, I remember feeling sick and I remember my vision and hearing going in and out, I remember walking through my bedroom door and In the moments before I blacked out I remember seeing my uncle and my baby brother, they were telling me everything would be okay, I was going to be okay. I woke up sick as a dog, but I woke up. In that moment I realized there was a bigger plan for my life. To this day I still have the nights of uncontrollable sobbing followed by nightmares and the days I just can't move but I'll never get to the point of wanting to take my life again, I know it wouldn't make my uncle happy. I wouldn't want to put this pain I go through on anybody else.

  • Hilary by Hilary
  • 3 years ago

This touched me - your words and story are of overcoming, but you still show being human and having those darn human struggles no matter what. I am so sorry for your loss and the tragedy behind it. Thank you for putting your heart on your sleeve. Go well.

  • Emmily by Emmily, Australia
  • 10 years ago

Today it's been two years since I lost my best friend to suicide. This poem truly said everything I felt and do feel to this day still. Thank you for sharing.

  • Julie by Julie, Belgium
  • 11 years ago

Your poem is wonderful, just beautiful. I lost someone because of suicide, and I wish you all the strength. Keep writing, you're great at it.

  • Stella Aberdeen by Stella Aberdeen, Scotland
  • 11 years ago

My brother took his own life after jumping off the 11th floor apartments where he lived this happened on the 09/11/2010. I miss him so much because he meant a lot to me and he was with me a couple of days earlier. His death brought so much grief to my family and it remains fresh today. I have gone through so many emotions and felt like what's the point in anything. I had to deal with repatriating his body to South Africa so that my parents and young brother could see him for the last time. I couldn't attend the funeral because I couldn't afford to travel at the time and this made things worse for me.
I am a mental health nurse and I feel guilty that I never picked up anything from him. He left notes to all of us but it only raised more questions and he isn't here to answer them.

  • Kenya by Kenya, Nj
  • 12 years ago

My cousin passed away two years ago, a few days later after a suicide attempt. I loved him so very much. When I was going through depression myself he helped me feel better. Now that he is gone I still wonder how I never saw the signs. I still talk about times with him like they were yesterday and he will be there tomorrow but this poem helped me see that he is always with me. Thanks for sharing such beautiful work.

  • NYC by NYC
  • 12 years ago

My brother committed suicide, And it's been 35 years since he went away and I still feel like it was yesterday. God Bless you and your family and bring you all through this difficult time.. Your poem has touched my heart, thank you for sharing..

  • Palatine by Palatine, Illinois
  • 12 years ago

This poem is beautiful and helped me a lot. My best friend committed suicide after dropping out of highschool a week before. He died 11-8-11 and I've been devastated. He loved poetry and he was soooo good at it. I miss him sooo much. He was only 16 and was the nicest person. But this poem is really beautiful.

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