41. Living A Lie
Walking into a typhoon,
Swimming against the tide,
That's just how it feels,
When my truth I have to hide.
Walking into a typhoon,
Swimming against the tide,
That's just how it feels,
When my truth I have to hide.
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My head is not right today.
I have no idea why it's this way.
It switches from one thought to another.
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When I look at myself, I see nothing good.
I see all the flaws that no one else should.
I wear a mask
To hide the pain
Hello Miriam, how are you doing? I hope everything is great. I'm 17 years old, a teenager just like you, and I can feel your poem because I experienced the self-hatred you are talking about...
She may seem alive
But she's dead inside.
How can one live
When the important things died?
This hit me hard. This is exactly what I felt every day. Without my "friends" I had nothing to think about. I felt numb. With them I can't think about what's happening inside my head.
I look deep into your eyes
but all I see are lies
where there was hurt and suffering
there's now a black hole of nothing
I've been dealing with depression for the past three years and suicide is a big thing for me. Thank you, this poem means a lot!
Glance, but don't stare.
You're not supposed to see the scars that I bear.
Don't listen, just speak.
Great couplets on the theme of depression and the rhymes are nicely done and for many this poem will be relatable so I'm sure your poem will connect with many readers. Thanks for sharing Ashley.
Behind this calm face there is a raging storm,
Like a war in my head since the day I was born.
Behind this smile there is a lonely sad frown,
I have often been thin. Not skinny or scat
I'm not overly large... I hate the word fat.
I'm 50 years young, full of vim and vigour,
And this menopause, it's taking some figure.
No words for a state that I cannot express
Like gravity just holds me here in this mess
An invisible force stealing my air
A looming dark cloud and no one's aware
I feel the tears fall as I lay here and cry.
Nobody knows that all my happiness is a lie.
You see, I can't really smile; I haven't in a while.
No one knows what I feel today
Or that I'm dying inside.
No one knows the pain I'm in,
For it's nothing a smile can't hide.
She looks in the mirror, and what does she see?
Something frail, broken, and unfree.
She sees the pain swollen in her eyes.
She sees the cuts she marked on her thighs.
This poem describes me. I wear a mask all the time, and I am depressed all the time and self-harm almost every day.
Have you seen Joy? I have not seen her in so, so long,
I miss her, oh how I miss her and her heartwarming song.
I keep searching and searching and asking why
The wind blows
The sun shines
The grass grows
The air smells of pines
Have you ever felt trapped behind metal bars,
Or watched all your cuts turn to scars?
Have you tried to escape the pain in your soul,
But you just couldn't seem to fit that hole?
I had sight, but the darkness offers me no light.
I had visions, but the darkness suppresses them.
I had self-belief, but the darkness overshadows my confidence.
I had freedom, but the darkness shackles me.
"Count to 10," they said,
"Deep breaths and it will pass,
because the feelings that consume you won't stay, and they won't last,"
but with each and every land mine that goes off within my head,
There you are, sneaking upon me!
From the corner of my eye, you make no sound, but I can see!
I ignore you're there, but you grow each day.
Why do I fade to gray when everyone else is bright?
Why am I without color living between black and white?
Why am I held captive in a place that is unknown?
Why am I invisible and living in the gray zone?
I will bury my beating heart
Somewhere, deep in the sand
Crabs and seagulls will fight to tear it apart
As my soul is cursed to wander land