Don't Forget That I Was Here

• by Dale
• 11 months ago

I was on my own by the time I was 15.5, and on April 21,1979, I aborted the baby I didn't think I could/want to raise on my own. The dad was 24, so with a little thought we know where he stood. To this day (almost 60) I still think of the child I chose to rob of his/her life. I used how my choice made me feel to make sure I never repeated killing another baby.

• by Barbara
• 2 years ago

I was 16 when I got pregnant. My stupid decisions led to this, and I won't ever be able to forgive myself. I wouldn't be able to give them the life they deserved, so at 8 weeks I aborted through illegal medicine (in my country it still is a crime), with the help of my boyfriend. Every now and then guilt makes me sob and remember what I did. I got to see the tiny red body, I could see the dark brown color of the eyes through the skin, and the start of the development of legs, arms, hands and feet. An image I will never forget, as well as how it got more and more pale as life left. I'm sorry for making it so graphic but I hope someone finds comfort in relating to my story. You are not alone, I feel you.

I am now 18 and this poem has brought me more comfort and touched me because I do believe I will redeem myself when I'm ready to have kids and give that beautiful soul the love and care they deserved. Thank you for sharing your stories, it feels better to see we are not alone.

• by Anne Rollins
• 3 years ago

I had always wanted many children, but when I was 29 years old (and not married), I deliberately became pregnant, much to my mother's horror. She nagged me constantly to get an abortion until my father told me to not listen to her. Thanks, Dad! Christopher was born a healthy baby and my mother adored him. As a Catholic, I went to confession a few years later and the priest praised me after I assured him that the baby was well-cared for by my mother while I worked, so I got absolution.

Christopher led a healthy life, but that meant nothing because at age 19 he got sick with Hodgkins Disease and passed away when he was almost 21. I have no other children and think constantly about him. Recently, my sister again told me she feels ashamed of me (even though she loved Christopher).

• by Unknown
• 4 years ago

I'm in tears. I am approaching the first year marking my abortion. And I just can't help but to feel lost and unhappy. I chose to end a pregnancy after finding out I was pregnant 9 months after having my son. There's nowhere to turn for relief and reading comments on websites telling me I was selfish and a killer as if it doesn't kill me inside every day. Reading this and the following comments I sensed this might be the place to confess my secret.

• by Alexis Flores
• 5 years ago

I had an abortion on Wednesday at nine weeks and four days. This was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make, and I just want my baby to know that I truly had love for it and I wish that things could've had a different outcome. I hope you can forgive me one day, baby.

• by Ish
• 5 years ago

I have just started with my abortion pills, and I can't stop crying. I heard my baby's heart beat yesterday, and it keeps on playing in my head. I really wish that I could tell my baby that I really, really wanted to keep it. This has been the most difficult decision I had to make, and I wish I could fix it. My baby needs to know that I love it with all my heart and I'll never be able to forget this day. I wanted to hold it in my hands and be grateful to God. My perspective about life has completely changed. I'm no longer the person I was. I have become way more gentle and loving. Although I wish I could give all this love to my baby. :( I just want my unborn baby to know that the decision I made was influenced by the society we live in. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you. I love you so much. I'm sorry for all the pain caused to you and how I wish I could bring you back. I'm sorry, baby. Please forgive me.

• by Molly, Canada
• 9 years ago

Thank you for your beautiful poem and the small comfort it has brought to me.
I am 20 years old and aborted my 5 week old baby a bit over a month ago. It was a very traumatic experience, but the right choice.
Losing an unborn child is the hardest thing I have ever had to face and my additional complications have only enhanced the trauma. But one thing that has brought me peace is knowing that it's all over now and my child is in heaven. While on the morphine, the image of my small little baby lying peacefully on a bed of flowers kept passing through my mind. I love my child so much and I will always be his/her mother. I hope my baby is at peace and feels my love. I will never forget my baby and it helps me to think of him/her as my angel. I am not religious but I feel my child's presence with me always and know that they want me to be happy and know that I am not alone.
Your poem touched me and calmed me while I lie here in my bed with a heating pad, crying. I wish i could hug every women who's gone through this pain and tell them that they are not alone. We're all connected by our losses and our little angels are watching over us too.