People say chin up,
But I just feel like giving up.
People say smile and it will all go away,
But I feel like crying each day.
Everything takes effort to do.
This constant pain is so hard to live through.
Lie in bed and see the day dawning,
Hate myself for waking up that morning.
I know I need help, and I know I need support.
Don't wanna spend my life feeling this way; it's just too short,
But I just can't seem to speak out,
Say what this feeling is all about.
Even if I did tell someone, what could they do?
I don't think they could fix this, do you?
I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I want to smile and laugh for real and be happy each and every day.
There's sometimes in the day when I forget about it all,
When I smile and laugh, but then I remember it's like a ten thousand foot fall.
Do you know what it's like for your eyes to constantly sting?
Do you know what it's like to be happy and at the same time feel nothing?
I don't think I could end it without living the rest of my life.
See, my mind and body shudder when I think of picking up a knife,
But I really don't feel like I can carry on this way,
Feeling so low and empty each and every day.
It's so hard for me to admit to myself exactly what's wrong,
Hard for me to show myself that I'm not that strong.
This idea of happiness, you may say I'm a little obsessed.
But I think right now I finally see...I'm depressed.
I stumble trying to speak. My mind talks to me. I'm alive but not present in my life. I try to say, "I'm fine," but I'm never truly fine. I like to be alone so I can bare my thoughts, but...
Published by Family Friend Poems December 2011 with permission of the author.
People say chin up,
Hey, I saw your message, and it's going to be okay. It's been a year since you said this. Hopefully everything is okay now. I'm 15, and I understand your problems. I feel like I'm such a terrible daughter, but you know what, keep your head up. :) Your children love you. They have the best mom they could ask for. You gave them life. They love you. The pain you're going through right now is temporary, so don't worry. Everything will be fine.