Husband Death Poem

Poem Of Grief And Love

I wrote this poem a month after my husband Roberto died on February 1, 2004. It is only now that I can look at it without feeling immense pain and want to share it with others who may have had the same loss. Time, it takes time.

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Hi Elisa - My apologies as I see this was 6 years ago. This is so similar to the disaster my wife was given when diagnosed in June with stage 4 lung/brain cancer that took her from me only 2...

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Love Forever Lost

© more by Charlene Valladares

Published by Family Friend Poems May 2009 with permission of the Author.

Like a ghost, I flitter through the night,
keeping to the shadows and abhorring the light.

The night camouflages and no one can see
the shadow of the person that once was me.

The days lays me bare with nowhere to hide,
this raw pain that I feel inside,

You are no longer of this world,
you inhabit a place of no return,
no matter the tears or how much I yearn.

All I have left are your memories,
cherish them I will do,
but I would give everything I have for one more day with you.

So I will continue on living until the day
you come for me and take me away.


more by Charlene Valladares

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Gala Sanford by Gala Sanford
  • 5 years ago

My husband died on December the 3rd. I am just numb, and my heart hurts so bad and is broken in a million pieces. We were married 28 years and dated for 6 years. This man had 34 years of my life. We have three children and 2 granddaughters. He was only 59 and I am 53. He was sick for 2 in a half years. I was his caregiver with my children. My world is so unreal now. I miss my husband like CRAZY.

  • Teresa Faubion by Teresa Faubion
  • 9 years ago

My husband passed away September 23, 2011, it will be 3 years next week and I still miss him so much. I feel empty even though I have my children. I lost my soulmate, the love of my life. We were childhood sweethearts and we together for 20 years. I know that everyone tells me it gets easier but sometimes I feel like I can't breathe for missing him so much. We had been through a lot together, ups and downs. Right now my health is not great and I have cancer again, this is not the first time but is the first time I will be going though this type of health issue without my husband. When does it get easier??

  • Olivia Castro by Olivia Castro
  • 9 years ago

My husband passed away August 29, 2013. We were college sweethearts and had just celebrated our 43rd anniversary. He did not survive his second open heart surgery. This year has been unbearable especially during the holidays. The hardest part was attending our alma mater's football games, our stadium's seats have our names. Being on our college campus while establishing a scholarship in his name has helped, siting on the steps where we first met & having those memories are wonderful. I keep a diary and I write to him often and I know he's not here to bring me my cup of every morning or kiss me good night he's always in my heart.

  • Helen Franks by Helen Franks, Gurnee
  • 10 years ago

I unexpectedly lost my husband the love of my life at age 66, on 6/2/13, we were married 24 years. I have yet to remove any of his belongings, I cannot. My heart is so broken, I don't think I'll ever recover. I loved this man with all my heart and life is mere existence now. I'm visiting the kids in a warmer climate this year but I can't imagine going home to an empty house in two weeks. He was always there at the airport. God help us. The prayers are so true to heart so I know I'm not alone.

  • Susan Abeed by Susan Abeed
  • 10 years ago

I lost my husband 11 /11 /2008 so it's about five years ago, but still I can't let go of him I missed him so much. I'm not a good writer but I want to say something to him. I'm still loving you

  • Bonnie Goode. Venice by Bonnie Goode. Venice, Florida
  • 10 years ago

My husband died Sept. 29,2012. Two days before he died God blessed us with our 54th anniversary. He was such a wonderful and dedicated husband and father of four that a man could be. He and I were soul mates. I feel so empty of life even though our married children support me emotionally and stay very close. I still feel so numb and lifeless even though I attend church and bible study. I pray but I feel like I'm void of feeling alive. I know one has to work through the grieving process but the pain is so deep. I thank all of you who have written about your losses as I know I am not alone.

  • Johnnie Sue Beckworth by Johnnie Sue Beckworth
  • 10 years ago

I just lost my wonderful husband of 16 years, Aug. 14, 2013. My world was shattered when I found him in our bed. He looked as if he was still sound asleep, but I realized he was no longer breathing, I don't remember a lot of what I said and did that day, but I know now that I was in shock, and in some ways I think I still am, I still look for him to come home, I still walk in the house and call out to him. I want one more "I love you more", one more "there my baby is" One more hug, one more kiss, one more time to see his beautiful blue eyes sparkling at me!!! I know that I can't have these things, I know I have to go one without him, but 16 years of truly unconditional love is rare, and in 15 lifetimes I will never find another man who will love me the way that he did. I love you Billy, and I miss you so much, my world is like a bad bad bad roller coaster ride of emotions. Not sure how to deal with all of this.

  • Gloria by Gloria, Oklahoma
  • 11 years ago

I lost my Soulmate, the love of my life Nov. 13, 2010. He would come home from work feeling tired, he would go to the Dr. and they would tell him it was just a cold hard to shake, finally he had an MRI, and they called us to come in for the results. This was the middle of June he was to retire the end of June, he had so many plans on what he was going to do in 4 months. After his Dr. visit he passed away, we were told that morning he had inoperable liver cancer, I miss my husband so much. God blessed us with 41 years together. I know he's in a much better place, but I miss him so much, he did so much for me, they gave him 3 to 4 months to live, we would walk around the yard and I'd tell him they don't know, and I would remind him we're going to live till we are 100. Didn't happen he's gone I'm still here but one day we will be reunited, and to this day even though it's been two years, it hasn't been any easier, I miss everything he done for me no one will ever take his place! Pictures and memories I hold in my heart.

  • Jane Cullins by Jane Cullins, Texas
  • 11 years ago

I lost my husband, John, on July 29, 2012. He was 66 years old and we had been married for 42 years. I can only describe this as an extreme loss. An emptiness that nothing can fill. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in June and was gone in a month. Not enough time to even think. Stage 4 and one chemo treatment. He just passed away on a Sunday morning without a good bye. Constant tears and sadness. I try to stay busy but there comes times of quiet and then the thoughts come. I don't ask why and I don't get angry because I know I had him for 42 years and that is what God gave us. I know I will see him again in another life but until I do I will always have an empty place in my heart that nothing can fill. Tears and memories of our sweet life we shared.

  • Elisa by Elisa
  • 11 years ago

My beloved Husband, Hugo, lost his valiant, brave, difficult battle with pancreatic/liver neuroendocrine cancer on July 29, 2012. It was not a quiet death; it was long, drawn out-and I cannot describe it, but I will say it was as though he said, "If I'm dying, I'm getting rid of this lethal disease and in his own way, with so much struggling in the end, he purged his cancer from him.

I have been so inconsolable since he passed. I miss him so much that I can't even describe all my feelings: sorrow, emptiness, fear, loneliness. And I want him back; some days, I am ashamed to say this, but I want to go to sleep and not wake up and hope to find him again waiting for me. I can't stand it, and each day gets worse, not better. He did everything for me; he lived for me, and each person he spoke to right after his diagnosis he said, "What about Elisa, I'm so worried what will happen to her if I should die."

I exist, period. I hide from the day's sun; and at night I am a lost shadow; I cannot sleep, I can't eat, I am physically ill, emotionally ill, and the pain in my heart is crushing me every second. I do not have many people to rely on, and I always had Hugo; we were one; and now, I don't like asking for help, and I need it desperately.

I feel as though I died with him that night. I still am in shock, and in the first few weeks, I can't pretending he'd rise from the dead, call me and come home. Then I would tell him how much I missed him, and we would be happy again.

He and I devoted 15 years of our lived to my ill parents--long distance, back and forth; and I kind of put my husband 2nd, though he never minded.

My Father died, it devastated me; but I still had Mom. She got Alzheimer's, and for 12 years it was agony watching her decline. When she passed, after 5 months, I realized, it's our (my husband's and my turn to start living again.) But no, our turn never came, he was diagnosed and he lived for only 10 months. We thought he'd have more time, every second I prayed, begged God for a miracle. Now, he's gone, and I regret some lost time--he worked hard, long hours, and I was involved being a caregiver. So, our turn never came, no retirement for him, only pain and sickness; all his dreams he had for us to move to a smaller house, get a small boat, fish, and grow old together, NEVER CAME TRUE.

I'm nothing, and I want to die. I exist like a robot. I am just not going to get over missing him.

Please pray for him and me. I want to go and be with him. I hope God will understand that and let us join together again. I need him. I hate life without him; nothing has any meaning for me--not my house, nothing. Nothing is the same without Hugo.

  • Gary Boyce by Gary Boyce
  • 5 years ago

Hi Elisa - My apologies as I see this was 6 years ago. This is so similar to the disaster my wife was given when diagnosed in June with stage 4 lung/brain cancer that took her from me only 2 months later on August 9, 2018. We had just moved into our retirement home in March after 40 years each of working and doing all we could for our 4 children - it was as you said, "OUR TIME." My poor wife only got 2 good months of it- she showed signs in mid-May that something was wrong. June 2, days before our daughter's wedding, the diagnosis would come that ended our world! She missed the wedding (only the year before our oldest daughter had married) and after that all was a blur of hospitals, oncologists, doctors, then home hospice, then inpatient for 8 days and that was it. I am so destroyed. It's been 7 months and I just want to go with her. In the nights I can hide in my own shadows in the empty house that never had a chance to become a home. I am alone forever. I want to go now!

  • Mary Crawford by Mary Crawford
  • 6 years ago

I was taken aback by your letter. I could have written it...almost same story. Not a day goes by that I don't think that I put my husband 2nd. Overwhelmed by taking care of 2 parents, I overlooked his health. I understand...

  • Melody Nicklin by Melody Nicklin
  • 7 years ago

Please tell me you're okay! It's been 4 years. Your submission really touched me. I have lost nearly all of my immediate family, and it takes time A LOT of time sometimes. I pray you are eased of some of your pain.

  • Kaila Fehrenbach by Kaila Fehrenbach
  • 11 years ago

I lost my husband Joe on July 20,2012. He was about to turn 27. Our daughter is 3 years old and we both miss him so much. There are no words to describe the way I feel. I just feel empty. How can my husband, who was my best friend of 15 years be gone. I just don't understand. He left for work that morning and we gave each other kisses goodbye and we talked on his lunch break at 12:30 pm. And by 1 pm he was missing from the job site and wasn't found for 27 hours later. I have so many unanswered questions and my heart is broken. I love you Joe. Watch over kaylee and I.

  • Lorraine Washington by Lorraine Washington, Chicago
  • 11 years ago

I lost my husband July 3, 2011 due to complications from a stroke. We were together 33 years ( 7 KIDS) all grown, no signs, or warnings and it's been extremely difficult for me, we have never been separated from each other except for illness. I've been living one day at a time, but I feel like my life is over. I miss him so much. It feels like the hours in the day have doubled. I'm still here living for both of us with great memories and the blessing to have met such a wonderful person to share that special time.

  • Broken Hearted by Broken Hearted, Macclenny Florida
  • 12 years ago

I just lost my ex a month today due to bladder cancer . I feel like the whole world is spinning and I can not control it. I feel so empty on the inside. We were separated for 3 years and decided to try to work things out and found out in Sept he had bladder cancer. We were together 6 years. He was the love of my life, my everything. I just wish he was here I miss him so much, It kills me inside that I never got to say goodbye and tell him how much I love and appreciate him. I know he knew I loved him as much as I know he loves me. they say it gets easier I don't know how. I feel like I'm missing something and can't find it, they keep telling me to find a hobby, it's not going to take it away .

  • Susan Lady by Susan Lady
  • 7 years ago

I lost my husband of 37 years one month ago. He was such a wonderful husband and father. In the 37 years, we had our ups and downs, but our love was deep and true. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in Sept 2016. It only got worse after that, and it spread to his liver and lymph nodes. Not once in the six months did he complain he was in any pain. He was in and out of the hospital, and I was right there beside him. The pain I feel is unbearable. The day he passed away he was very tired and restless that he told me to go home and get some rest because he couldn't sleep if I was there. But I stayed right there by his side and watched him sleep. He was finding it hard to breathe, so the nurse put him on oxygen, and his breathing became labored. They called the doctor, and the doctor suggested to give him a little morphine to keep him comfortable. Not soon after that is when he took his last breath. My heart is broken. No one understands my pain.

  • Broken Heart by Broken Heart, Virginia Beach
  • 12 years ago

I lost my husband two weeks ago. I feel like the whole world is spinning and I can not control it. I have chest pains, cry myself to sleep, can't eat...I just wish he was here I miss him so much

  • Kari Vitori by Kari Vitori, Pittsburgh Pa
  • 12 years ago

This is also for Emily. I agree with Charlene. I lost my husband suddenly May 19, 2011. It kills me inside that I never got to say goodbye and tell him how much I love and appreciate him. He was only 45. We just had our 5 year wedding anniversary in August. I feel cheated because we didn't have enough time. The shock is wearing off now but I'm hurting more so. The heartache is the painful gut wrenching feeling. A helpless feeling. I keep a journal. I tell him exactly how I'm feeling at that moment. I miss everything about him. I miss the little things that you never really thought were a big deal like the garage door opening. I hate to hear it open now. Maybe a support group might help. I've been going to a place called Good Grief. I talk to a lady one on one and I get it all out. She listens and I feel like she feels my pain and understands. I'm going to try a support group meeting in January. It's for spouses ages 50 and younger.

  • Kristina Kelly by Kristina Kelly, Philadelphia
  • 12 years ago

I lost my husband 8 months ago I still can't believe it. Everyone tells me to go out find someone and I recently said to my friend when it happens to them I wanna see them say it then. We shared 16 years not always great but still 16 years is a long time we have two children 13 and 7.
I would like to know when it gets easier. I wish I could say everything I didn't say and take back the bad stuff I said.......

This is for Emily, if their is any consolation I can give you is that is to give yourself time, it takes time. Our love one are never gone if we keep them in our hearts. Write him a letter and pour out your heart. Express everything you feel, be it pain, anger, sadness, love. Cry let your sadness out and above all let yourself grieve. Charlene Valladares

  • Emily Rutenbeck by Emily Rutenbeck
  • 13 years ago

My husband just died this Monday (May 2, 2011) and the pain is so horrible. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. We have been together two years. He died of a brain tumor that put him into a coma. He went to the hospital early Monday morning and he was gone by Monday evening... I'm in a constant panic and fear. I can only hope the pain will ease

  • Rene Winwood by Rene Winwood
  • 14 years ago

I lost my best friend 4yrs ago in April , I also lost the light of my life , I think of how strong he was in all the years of his battle with this evil disease . he still sends me my pennies from heaven . I think of him each day that goes by. I will be him in the end .

  • Patricia Bradshaw by Patricia Bradshaw
  • 14 years ago

I shed many tears reading this poem, but the feeling was so real for me. I would also give all that I owned, money, worldly goods just to have my love back with me for one more day. To say things to him that I forgot to say while he was still with me. He lost his 5 year fight with cancer just a year ago and I miss him more than every.
Thank you for these words.

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