Husband Death Poem

Grief And Loneliness After Losing A Spouse

My husband passed away in 2005. Everyone thinks that I am strong and have moved on. I am still grieving, but no one wants to listen. No one wants to hear that. "Adequate time has passed," they say. What is adequate time? I was left with a 5 year old son, so I had to continue on, but I still feel so depressed and alone at times. My son is now my life. He is what gives me any semblance of what is supposed to be "strong."

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My husband of 26 years had small cell lung cancer, and with chemo he lasted 9 months. He was 47. The devastation I felt is indescribable - a black hole I just couldn't see my way out of. Our...

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Missing You


Published: May 2011

I sit alone now in the darkness of despair.
I cry my silent tears.
My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces.
The silence is deafening to my ears.
The darkness frightens me.
The shadows climb the wall.
I hear footsteps walking,
Passing through the hall.
The loneliness surrounds me;
It takes my breath away.
This is the pattern of my life
Since that awful, dreadful day.
Without a clue,
Without a hint
Of what was yet to be,
God called you home
To be with him
And took you away from me.
I walk, I talk. I carry on
When the sun pokes out its head,
But when darkness falls
And evening comes,
I cannot go to bed.
For this is when I miss you most of all.
When I curl into a little ball
And cry those silent tears.
Watching the shadows
And missing you.

more by Kathy Murphy



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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • by Paula
  • 3 weeks ago

My husband of 26 years had small cell lung cancer, and with chemo he lasted 9 months. He was 47. The devastation I felt is indescribable - a black hole I just couldn't see my way out of. Our 3 adult children, all in their 20s, had no idea how to help me as they were grieving too, so it was agreed I would go to counseling to help me through this horrible time. In hindsight, I should have made my kids come too as now 3 years later they struggle with bouts of sadness. But counseling was the BEST thing they could have suggested. I LET GO OF MY PAIN and let it consume me so deep so that I could start to heal. I took my wedding rings off and got them checked and cleaned and gave them to our kids as I didn't need them anymore as he was going to be with me in spirit for the rest of my life. Some days I still get wet eyes for no reason, but life does really go on. I have met a wonderful man to love and adore all of us, including 4 grandkids, and in 14 days we are getting married.

  • by Carol Burke
  • 1 month ago

My husband of 43 years died in April 2018. He had a heart attack in our driveway. I stumbled across this site, and I really love the messages people share about their loss. Thank you. I function and get through the day, but I am sad to the bones. I know God is near, and I continually pray to feel his presence to get me through step by step. I don't think you ever stop missing a loved one.

  • by Lisa Wolfe
  • 1 month ago

My first husband and I were married 26 years and had 3 sons together. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in February 2006. He passed away July 1, 2006. I had to keep living for our sons, but inside part of me died with my husband. About 7 months later I met Barry. He had lost his wife around the same time I lost my husband. They had a son and 2 daughters. He was so easy to talk to because we were going through the same thing. We began dating and married in October 2007. Our families became one. Our children became brothers and sisters. We kept our spouses' memories alive and celebrated everything with their families also. While on our family vacation at the beach on July 9 Barry got out of the ocean and made it to our chairs. He then collapsed. They said it was a massive heart attack. We were married 10 years. Nothing can prepare you for the heartache of losing someone you love. Not even going through it before prepared me for it. I am lost without him.

  • by Natalie
  • 2 months ago

My husband and I were riding our bikes to Best Buy when he died. He was just starting his vacation for a week. We did everything together. Best friend for 30 years and married for the last 16. My dad died unexpectedly May 3; then Rod 5 weeks later. He somehow passed out then fell off his bike right in front of me. I go over the whole scene in my head a lot. If we weren't on our bikes we would ride the bus or light rail. I now ride our routes alone, and I can't focus on anything because any memory will bring tears streaming down my face, so I turn around and go home.

  • by Kim Page
  • 2 months ago

My husband died 3 months ago, April 24, 2018, after a terrible struggle with ALS for 8 years. He also had a stroke in 2016, which impaired his left side beyond what ALS had done so far. We were together for almost 40 years, married 35. Three of our daughters and I cared for him 24/7. I can't describe in a short space, if ever, all that he bravely endured and what we all endured with him, for him. How painful it was to slowly lose him day by day for years. Holding onto hope every step. Being aware that ALS would take him did not help us prepare for the immense loss we feel. I can't put into words how much he meant to me and our children and how much we miss him. My words can't begin to summarize him or his life. He loved and cherished us; we loved and cherished him and still do. I feel as if my heart will never stop hurting till I can see and be with him again. I want to honor him every minute of every day. My heart aches so, but I have hope in knowing he is alive in heaven, waiting to see us again.

  • by Angela Williams
  • 3 months ago

My husband passed away on June 5, 2018, from extensive non-small cell lung cancer. He was 62 and I am about to be 50 in 3 weeks. I am lost. I can't stay in my house because it is so empty without him. I cared for him for 5 months. He was diagnosed on January 16th and we buried him on June 16th. I was touched by each poem and story.

  • by Linda J Vaught
  • 3 months ago

My precious husband died March 20, 2018. He had a bypass surgery - it went fine. He was recuperating. He also had "restless leg syndrome," but the hospital said it was federal law that they could not leave all bed rails up. My husband fell out of bed when I wasn't there to watch him. He broke all stitches open. After that there was one infection after another. Subsequently, he died from severe infections. I lost him and myself. I pray for God to take me so I can be with him. I have to wait on God's will, but my life is empty until I can be with him. He was not particularly religious but led an honest, righteous, LOVING life. If I could change this law that could help just 1 person, it would be worth it.

  • by Kelly Masur
  • 4 months ago

I lost my amazing, loving husband, John, on January 26, 2018. He was told when he was 48 he had liver cancer. He did well the next 3 years. Many trips to Iowa City to see the liver doctor. Then one day he was feeling sick and tired easy. November of 2017 we traveled the 73 miles to see the doctor. The doctors went on to explain this was the beginning of the end for John. My heart was crushed! The doctor said about 5 months. So we come home and tried to live as normally as possible. In December John became confused and disoriented. He began asking me who I am. We got him to the hospital and the ammonia in his brain was almost 3x the normal. I was sure this was the end. However, John got better. He was my John again. He knew who I was and that the mortgage needed paid. He's able to come home after 8 days. The doctor told me he was going to dive again and he would not recover. He did. 16 days later my love was gone. I miss him more every day. He is my precious John! I still need him!

  • by Geraldine Brown
  • 5 months ago

I lost my husband on May 6, 2018. Today I fare-welled him in a beautiful service. It was so hard to listen to everyone saying that it will get easier and that I am very strong, when all I want to do is be with him. I know exactly what each person is saying and feeling in their response to this poem. My grief is so raw. We have been together for 34 years, and he was my best friend and protector. He loved me unconditionally, and I feel lost without his presence and love. He was my one and only. He was diagnosed in February 2017 and told in January 2018 that all avenues of treatment had been exhausted. He was so disappointed but remained strong. He told me to speak at our children's weddings on his behalf and discussed with the girls who he had organized to walk them down the aisle when the time comes. My head tells me that I must carry on to fulfill his wishes, but my broken heart tells me I don't want to be here without him.

  • by Susie Davis
  • 4 months ago

I just lost my husband May 5, 2018. My life is so empty now. I stay up all night because I just don't want to lay without him there beside me. I'm lost, I'm broken. We were together for 30 years. I'm ready to join him. Just waiting for God to call me to be with my love again.

  • by Kimberly Rogers
  • 6 months ago

I had to say goodbye to my Jerry on January 14, 2018. I was told that he most likely died from a blood clot. He had 2 stents put in the Wednesday before and said he felt great from Thursday to Saturday. I found him gone in his sleep Sunday. I was hurt and devastated. What has helped me has been faith and prayer. I believe I will see him again one day. Until then I’ll love him every day and remember the moments we shared. Blessings to all.

  • by Joan Duckett
  • 6 months ago

Hello everybody. I lost my husband, soulmate, and best friend nearly three years ago very suddenly. He always appeared to be a fit man, but one night he collapsed into my arms and he died early the next morning. He had a stroke and a massive bleed on his brain. I miss him all the time and cry a lot. People say time heals, but I found I feel worse. Miss him putting his arms around me when we went to sleep. I hope he is with my beloved son who we lost to suicide thirteen years ago. I feel I have nothing left and wish I could join them. ~Joan

  • by Sharon Merrick-Hall
  • 6 months ago

I tragically lost the love of my life to a massive heart attack. He passed away in my arms in our home, exactly where he wanted to pass. That gives me a tiny bit of comfort that his very last breath went into my body exactly in our home. Advice? Kiss more, hold each other longer, and don't sweat the small stuff, for none of us are promised tomorrow.

  • by Jay Roach
  • 8 months ago

I lost my wife of over 62 years. I still feel alone sometimes. She was 84, passing away just before Christmas 2014. We met in high school. We married in 1952. We had 4 living children. Even now after over 3 years, I still suffer from losing her. She was truly the center of the family. I think of her every day. She passed just 12 days before she was to meet our great grandson for the first time. She was so looking forward to that. She was into family history research and was able to go back to 19 generations. She had so many activities and friends. I cannot count them all. She grew from childhood, losing a lower leg from a farm accident, cancer tumor on vertebrae, paralyzed for over 2 years, cancer of the breast, 25 blood transfusions. She never complained. She was always upbeat. Our children miss her so much. They say she is in a better place. That provides some solace, but I am lonely and sad sometimes and just keep going. I'm waiting to see her again.

  • by Marilee Pavik
  • 2 months ago

A year ago today the family met to celebrate my husband's 85th birthday. While we were eating, one of the granddaughters (paramedic) said to my husband if he were in her ambulance she would take him to the ER. As he had been fighting a cold for two weeks he agreed. He had been told in May he was cancer free, but the CAT scan that day told us it had returned. We were told on Thursday that it was incurable. In 48 hours the love of my life died. Neither of us expected it to go that fast. We had been married 63 years and 8 months.

The saying "If one hadn't loved so deeply one would not grieve" gives me comfort in my grief. I know he would want me to go on living. To honor our life together, I am doing that. Taking one day at a time, often with tears streaming down my face even when I am remembering good memories. I had to tell my story to deal with the memory of first day of his last week on earth.

  • by John Ridriguez
  • 8 months ago

I met my wife to be 47 years ago. We fell in love and were married. We planned and raised 3 boys. Married and parenting life was as normal as life comes. We were a family that did everything together. Life was good. We prospered and moved out of our house after 30 years of making memories for country living. We were making new memories. My wife retired at age 55. I had 11 years to go until age 66. With one year until retirement, on June 18, 2015, my wife was diagnosed with ALS. We were devastated. She was so healthy all her life. Our world crumbled. I took an early retirement as my wife needed me more than anything. I became her full time caregiver. I love her so much. She passed away December 23, 2017, two days after her birthday and two days before Christmas. That's the way it was meant to be. The end of life was expected, but the pain seems worse now that she is gone. Life's different, and now my support is scarce, life's empty, and I'm alone. It hurts. There are reminders everywhere. Life will never be the same.

  • by Sylvia
  • 7 months ago

I am so sorry for your loss. I really know what you're going through. My husband passed away July 8, 2016, from mini strokes that gave him dementia at 63 years old. My God knows how much I cry for him. My life is so lonely without him. It's not the same anymore. He would tell me he can't wait until he retires so he can buy a brand new blue Ford pickup truck and we can just relax and go riding! He never had a new truck, and that's why I cry more because he never got a chance to enjoy one! I wish I could afford one and drive it for us. But when I go to heaven God will get us one to ride in Heaven. God bless you, sir.

  • by Delores Salinas
  • 9 months ago

Your words are exactly my feeling right now. I can't help but get emotional. My husband passed on November 12, 2017, and your words are my life right now. I'm sorry for your loss.

  • by Cheryl Christina Pareti
  • 9 months ago

My husband died February 19, 2017. He had a stroke in the night. He had gotten up to sit in his recliner, and I was still sleeping. When I got up, I saw him there, unable to talk. He was only able to move a finger on his left hand. I felt helpless, horrified, and devastated! We had been married 50 years and together 56 years--since we were 15 years old. We had lost our first son 49 years before. He was my rock, and I depended on him as he did me! He lingered 11 days on life support. Then that horrible day came when I had to take him off of life support! My remaining son and I just stood there and cried. We were devastated and still grieve his loss every day! He was a wonderful husband and father. I'll never be able to cope with this loss. I look forward to joining him one day! He would have been 72 years old in August of this year. We were very close, and I still can't believe I'll never see his sweet smile, hold his hand, or enjoy his since of humor! I'm not well, and my son cares for the best he can!

  • by Joan Duckett
  • 8 months ago

Dear Cheryl
We share the same pain. I have lost a son. I lost him thirteen years ago to suicide. On the same day, unknown to my son, my daughter gave birth to her son. My husband died in April 2015 at the age of 72 from a stroke just like your dear husband. I have lost the will to live and was sent home from the hospital and wasn't with him when he passed away. We had been married forty-five years. I miss his little jokes and all our trips in our camper van, and I wish I could join him.

  • by Devon Bynum Ferguson
  • 9 months ago

Damien Ferguson, my love, my friend, and soulmate passed away on December 1, 2017. Our two kids, ages four and six, and I are in need of prayer, peace, and understanding. I miss my husband so much. I feel like I can really feel my heart crying. I need desperately to be in a good place for my babies. God is not done with me yet. I know I must keep going, but most times it feels impossible. I'm so lost and angry, and I feel like I might be losing my mind, and more than anything else I feel like I need to be a better person for my babies. How. Time? I am in constant pain, and my eldest sees my heart. My condolences to you. My prayers are with you and your family. Maybe I could use some counseling. I'm an only child and my rock is gone. I'm 32 and I am just trying to deal.

  • by Shelly Clemmons
  • 9 months ago

I lost my reason to live on June 12, 2017 and just flat out do not want to go on without him. Everyone says it gets better with time, but that's a lie... it does not ever go away. I have lost two children in my lifetime as well. The first was way back in 1982, and yet I still feel that pain and loss as acutely as if it just happened an hour ago! I do not want a replacement mate...I want my best friend and soul mate back here beside me. I love you, Donald "Duck" Lee Collins, and that fact will forever remain. I will be yours infinity times infinity just as we always said...until my ashes mix with yours and we are joined again! I miss you so much!

  • by Thu Betteridge
  • 11 months ago

My husband died on the 27th of December 2015 of Mesothelioma. He came into the hospital for a diagnostic procedure and died 3 weeks later. He never made it home. I am still in great grief. I am afraid I can never love anyone again. He was my world and he is still my world.

  • by Gayle
  • 1 year ago

My sweetie died September 4, 2017. He had Esophageal Cancer. He was told he had this on Sept 13, 2016. He didn't make it a year. He was my world, my everything, my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. I miss him so much. The last year we were together every day. Now my life feels done. I miss him so much. He should still be sitting in his recline. Resting, watching the news. We were supposed to grow old together. I am so lost without him. I really believe a piece of my heart went with him. Love and miss you, Kevin. Forever.

  • by Penny Fox
  • 2 months ago

I lost my husband on June 25th, 2018. He was diagnosed in April with cancer, stage 4. In May, they said it started in his esophagus. It was a very aggressive cancer. It went very fast through his organs, brain, bones, and bone marrow. He was my rock, soul, and best friend. I am so lost without him. Everyone says it gets easier. I am not sure that is true. He was only 54 years old. I miss him so much.

  • 7 months ago

I lost my husband to gastro esophageal cancer on August 2, 2017. He battled for 3 years. We were married 27 years and together for 29 years. I miss him so much. It hurts every day. I pray he is with me and our 3 kids in spirit. I can't wait to be with him again for eternity.

  • by Sylvia
  • 11 months ago

I lost my husband Gilbert sixteen months ago. I miss him so much. Nothing makes me happy because my love is not here with me! We had been married for 47 years. I don't know what else to say....I just want him back so much! I think I went crazy for a while because I wanted to find a way to bring him back alive! I can see his face everywhere I go or in anything I do. It's so hard to be without him: his touch, his arms holding me in bed so peaceful, waking in the morning with him. I love you, Gilbert, forever!

  • by Kathleen Cunningham
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband 2 weeks ago. He was my best friend. We were together 24/7. He had kidney cancer that metastasized to his brain. The last few weeks he was in such pain, which he hid from me. He would cry out, say he was sorry and call for help. I did all I could to help him. Can't help but feel guilty. I am 55 and I lost my first husband 14 years ago to lung cancer. Can't stop crying. Trying to keep busy.

  • by Terrie Biggs
  • 1 year ago

Tomorrow will be only two months, but it feels like a lifetime, forever. I miss my husband: his hugs, his laughter, his fussing, his silliness. I cry and don't even realize I am. His daughters have made this transition very hard, and I am thankful for my children. We were together 21 years. And while I know God will get my through this, my heart still breaks when people only want to say time will heal, when I really just need someone to let me cry.

  • by Sylvia
  • 10 months ago

Terrie, I know how you feel when you want to be left alone so you can cry all you want. I cry driving, showering, and anything else. Everything I do brings me so many memories of my husband. I didn't even know he had mini strokes and was in the first stage of dementia. He fell at home and I rushed him to the ER. That's when I found out. I felt like screaming and could not believe what I heard. Cry all you want. My husband has been gone for 17 months, and I still cry for him a lot. God bless you.

  • by Marsha
  • 1 year ago

My husband of 46 years passed away unexpectedly one month ago. This has been so difficult. We adopted our 2 grandchildren, so I have plenty to keep me busy. I still feel so empty and hope that I will eventually feel like a normal human being again. I cry all the time. I miss him so much.

  • by Doreen Barr
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband on Aug 09, 2017. He lost a long battle with Alzheimer's and several strokes. My whole being aches; I am consumed with thoughts of our life. My family is here now but soon will return to their own homes. I dread being alone. I'm trying to be the great pretender so others think all is okay. It has been a long journey and at times had wished his memory and my husband would return and if this was not possible end the journey with Alzheimer's disease.

  • by Paulette Atkinson
  • 1 year ago

My husband died on May 8, 2017. He had heart attack and 4 strokes. Craig, my husband, went in for open heart surgery. He never was responsive after the surgery. I literally thought I must be dreaming. This was my best friend. He was someone who truly loved me and my daughter. I miss him so much, and so much is on me. I thank God I had a way of escape. I never could have made it without God. You need some type of spiritual guidance to make it day to day. I was missing my husband, and I knew he was not coming back, so I decided I shall live and not die. I want to be happy because my husband would have wanted it that way. When I read this writing I just wanted to share my story little bit. I know I can encourage some women as well. It's not the easiest thing, but I am determined that I will live and not die.

  • by Yarrum
  • 1 year ago

My best friend, who was my husband, died 4 weeks ago and was buried 2 weeks ago. I told him to go and I'd be ok. I'm strong as I've not been alone mainly because my family wants to make sure I'm ok. I'm not ok - but it's normal - normal to feel empty, sad, alone in a crowd, angry, guilty, abandoned, loved, left, different, impatient and no idea who you are or what you like as a single person. We met when I was 22. He was taken by a cancer when I turned 50. We grew up together and now I have to start out on my own with no desire to be anyone other than his wife. He made me whole, and for that I am forever grateful. Words can't express how much he is missed, not only from my life but from others, too. It's the hardest ordeal I have ever faced. I'm also afraid...very, very scared...financially and emotionally...I keep seeing rainbows and hearts...not sure why, but I love him and miss him so much it hurts.

  • by Pina C.
  • 11 months ago

I feel for you. On Dec.1 2016, I lost my best friend of 34 years. We met in Europe. He was in the Navy. We grew up together. I left my whole family to be with him. We were teens, and all of the sudden he decided to go. Not a word, not an explanation, not a reason. He left me with so many questions, in a void like a black hole. I am now all alone in this strange county I called home. I feel like a boat left to ride the waves and weather the storm. Nights are so lonely, so quiet. I wake up with his names on my lips. I dream of him.

  • by Jan Heath
  • 1 year ago

My husband died 17 years ago today. We had been married 18 years and our son was turning 2 in August. Life was perfect. Then the cancer came and took my best friend. There are many ways to be sad. You decide the best way for one else. There are no time tables for how long you are supposed to grieve. Only you can figure that one else. Lots of people, lots of advice, lots of choices, but in the end whatever you do will be the right thing for that time. I can honestly say that things do get better. It takes time. I still cry some days and I miss him. But it's a different kind of sad now.

  • by Sylvia
  • 1 year ago

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. You are so right about grieving. My husband of 47 years passed away 10 months ago. I cry for him every day and night. I feel I can't take it anymore! It feels like he's been gone too long that it's time for him to come back to me. Yes, we grieve differently and nobody can tell you nothing. There are times I feel a little better, but I start driving to the store and suddenly I'm crying so loud, wishing he was with me! God bless you and your son.

  • by Sophie Douangaphay
  • 1 year ago

I too lost my fiancé on 4/13/2017, so suddenly and tragically. Although we do not have any mutual child together, we had unconditional love for one another. He loved my kids like they were his own. He loved them before he even met them. He was so perfect for me. I've never met anyone like him before. We were supposed to say our I do's on 10/30/2017. I still have our marriage certificate application stamped by the County of Sonoma waiting for us to turn it in when we got officiated. Before I met him I thought I wasn't having any more kids, so I had my tubes tide. We made plans to go on vacation, and after our vacation we would go straight to our surgeon to get my tubes untied. We were supposed to go away for the weekend a couple of days after he passed. My world came crashing down. I'm a 40 year old mother of three kids, ages 21, 17, and 10. My life just came crashing down. What am I supposed to do now?

  • by Elizabeth Hiebendahl
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband of 36 years on February 18, 2017. We were in Florida to attend our daughter's wedding. He went to sleep that night and never woke up. It was his heart. He wasn't feeling well before we went to Florida and I said, "Do you think we should go." he replied, "I need to." No more arguments we went and there he died. I think he knew. He was where he loved and with all the people he loved.
He is still with me. Now I have a spiritual relationship with him. I feel him everywhere. Thank you to all my sisters in this agony of pain for your sharing. Believe it or not, reading those letters, I didn't feel so alone. Close your eyes and remember his loving look he gave you or remember his little kisses and you will feel him.
Until I am united with him once more, I will go on with my life as best as I can. God Bless All of You!

  • by Ang Amy
  • 1 year ago

Tomorrow would be the 2nd month that my husband passed away, 19 days after being diagnosed with liver cancer. Oh why, why, why, I keep asking. Where are you? I miss you so much! Never a day my eyes are dry, every day after work, I dread going back to an empty house, but once home, I can cry for all I care. I do not have to pretend that I am fine, that I am strong. Suicidal thoughts come and go, but my religion tells me that it's not right, that I won't meet up with him should I die this way. Oh hell, where and how can I move on?

  • by Sylvia
  • 10 months ago

Ang Amy, I was like you. I wanted to commit suicide so badly when my husband died. Nothing mattered to me. I didn't have my husband, so I would go to him. But wait! God wasn't calling me yet! Then I thought of our grandchildren that we love so much. What example would I be giving them when they're growing up? Kill yourself when you are depressed? I prayed to God to give me the strength to get stronger to show them to pray and never give up hope. God is always with us. God bless you. Grieve all you want. I still cry a lot for my husband. I miss him so much.

  • by D.
  • 1 year ago

I am so sorry for your loss. I hate those words. My husband died less than a month ago. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer on Valentine's Day. He died at home after being at the hospital for 8 1/2 hours for chemo and radiation. The doctors said his tumors were shrinking. The empty house is the worst. I'm good at pretending to be o.k. in public. At home, if I am not crying and turning into a puddle, I'm numb. I still expect to wake up and this will all be the worst nightmare I've ever had. The only comfort I have is at least it can't get any worse.

  • by Delia Harma
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband of 43 years to aortic stenosis. He was my rock, my everything. He was only 65 and healthy. It was routine for him to walk me to my car so I could go to work. That morning he told me he was going to visit his dad at the hospital as his dad's health is deteriorating. While he was signing in to see him, he collapsed and died. I feel so lost. I don't even know if I am coming or going. I cry constantly, and the pain is like someone just turned my stomach inside out and ripped my heart out. I lost my husband in the morning of March 20, 2017.

  • by Lorna Zinck Gordon
  • 1 year ago

My husband Ken and I were out for a drive on March 21, 2017. He pulled off the shoulder of the highway to secure a metal crate on the back of our pickup. I turned my head and bang...I'm in the woods looking around trying to get myseat belt off. Got out, ran to back of the truck. To my immediate right 40 feet away, my husband laid face down not moving his legs crushed...he died instantly. I didn't want to leave the scene...and when I came home I had to tell my 3 older kids from my 1st husband whom died in a tree accident 6 years prior and our 9 year old son he will never see his dad again. To think people say to us it happened for a reason. Get out of here. How the hell can you say that? We were happy, we were a complete family who overcame struggles from our pasts, cancer scares, alcohol and more, yet this happens. I'm so angry, so alone and will never forget seeing my Ken, laying there and not able to save him. My heart aches every second of every day and struggle in fear to move forward.

  • by Julie Anthony
  • 1 year ago

People say crazy things. I think they want to make us feel better but don't know what to say. How could they? Nothing said has ever made me feel better about the sudden death of my husband who was also a father of our 3 young children. The only thing that gives me a little comfort is when people reach out to give me a hug or when they are willing to listen to me when I need to talk or cry. What you have experienced is awful. Not once but twice. Allow yourself to feel every emotion. You have every right. May you and your children find strength! I will pray for you.

  • by Irene Withers
  • 1 year ago

We were married April 29, 2016. He passed March 12, 2017. I'm still trying to make since of this. I woke up to him saying he was in pain, he passes out, we get to the hospital. He jokes with everyone, and after I feel all is well again, I leave to go to the restroom, only to come back to that soul shattering news. I just can't comprehend what happened. It was a heart aneurysm. He was 27...I am 24. This spoke to me so much because the reason I married him was partly because of how safe I felt around him. No one else ever gave me that. I actually felt safe in my own skin with him. I just don't know. What just happened? He made me a better me, he was the most amazing person. His eyes, oh his eyes, I don't know how to do this without him. The only thing keeping me steady is the thought of what would he want me to do. It feels like someone ripped out my soul, shredded it and mixed it back in wrong.

  • by Abigail
  • 1 year ago

I've just read your post and I couldn’t believe how close it is to my nightmare that I'm now living in. My husband also passed away on 12th March 2017. We were out having drinks with friends and decided to go back to their place. He drove...always looking after me. When we arrived he got out of the car and said, "I think I'm having a heart attack." Eventually we ended up in the hospital. They did all they could, but his was also a heart aneurysm. The hardest thing I had to do was come home and tell our children, 16 &18, that their dad is never coming home. He was my soul mate and like you, my husband made me a better person, always believed in me. We were so happy. He would have been 48 next month and was fit and healthy. I'm scared of my future without him. Take care. Ty thoughts are with you. Xx

  • by LaRissa Jones
  • 1 year ago

I married my husband on 2/1/17 and lost him on 2/27/17. He went to the hospital to have a hernia removed. He caught e-coli and died in my arms. I'm so heartbroken. I don't think I'll ever get over this, but I do know that this too shall pass.

  • by Christine Walsh
  • 1 year ago

My condolences to you at this time. Your comment struck a chord in my heart because your loss occurred five years to the day I lost my mom--my best friend. Life just sucks. I'm so sorry for your loss. I bid you peace.

  • by Danette Ritter
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband on February 1st, 2017. He had a massive heart attack. I met him when I was 16, and I am now 58. I have never lived on my own. I cry every day. We would have been married 39 years this June. We had so many plans. My daughter is getting married this year, and now she will have to do it without her father. I wish I was with him. I miss him so bad.

  • by Tammy
  • 1 year ago

I, too, lost my soul mate April 28th 2017 in our home. Massive heart attack. He was 53 years old. My love, my sweetheart. We met when I was 14 and have been together since. I was young but wise. He was my everything. I miss him so much. It still doesn't seem real. He did everything for me.

  • by Missy Scordino
  • 1 year ago

Dear Danette,
I am so sorry for your loss. You are just beginning this journey of healing. I lost my husband 2 years ago. I was 59. He was the love of my life. The only thing I can tell is I have come to realize that my life is forever changed. Everyone's journey is unique, and time doesn't heal all wounds. What helps me is my children and grandchildren and my faith, but again it is what is unique to each person. My love and prayers to you. xo Missy

  • by Patricia Garcia
  • 1 year ago

Hi, my husband passed 02/13/2017, and since then my life will never be the same. I have lost husband, friend, and lover. It feels like yesterday. I can't believe it. We just became grandparents. We have 1 daughter, 29; we have 2 sons, 25 and 30, and a grandbaby born on12/18/2016. We were married 34 years. I miss holding his hand at night and talking to him and watching TV. I miss fixing his lunch. I miss him so dearly. He left for work on Monday at 5am, said goodbye and he loved me, and he would see me later, but I never did. He had a stroke at work and a brain aneurism and he passed at the hospital. He was 53. My world is upside down now. I'm on SSI and disability, and he had no life insurance, so it's gonna be hard to move on moneywise. Also, I'm so scared. I don't know what's ahead for me. I hope some of this pain goes away in the next few months. God, I miss him so much, miss his voice, want to talk to him so bad, want him to walk in the door one more time. My heart is in so much pain.

  • by Jennifer
  • 1 year ago

My husband passed away on Feb. 26, 2017. He was diagnosed in July 2015 with Stage 4 Metastatic Colon Cancer and lived for 20 months. He spent 18 of those months being miserable on chemotherapy and decided to stop treatment at the end of December. He died at home with me and our youngest daughter at his side. I, like you, miss hearing his voice. I can't bring myself to cancel his cell phone, because his voice mail is the only place I can hear it. We met when I was sixteen and were together our entire adult lives, 32 years. I don't know how I'm going to go on without him. He developed hepatic encephalopathy during his last month of life, so my most vivid memories are of him being confused, having tremors, not being able to walk without help, or feed himself, he was restless, and said he couldn't breathe. After 32 years, I can’t seem to remember the good times, but only portions of the suffering he endured at the end. I am suffocating under this soul crushing sadness and loneliness.

  • by Ann Anderson
  • 1 year ago

I'm reading these because a friend just passed away. But I wanted to comment on the fact that I believe you can also get your husband's Social Security... at retirement age it's something you may want to look into. If not to benefit from it now maybe an early retirement age for full retirement. Don't forget about it. The only reason this sticks in my mind as I was just looking at my retirement money and what I can do for early retirement and I saw that dependent children and spouses can get their husband's retirement from federal.

  • by Leslie Woody
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband of 25 years on Feb. 18, 2017. He was 43 years old. We have 3 children (2 boys: 22, 20 and daughter: 17) and a 3 year old grandson. I'm not really sure how to feel or act. Sometimes I just cry, and sometimes I want scream. He passed in his sleep. It's so hard looking at my children, and seeing him makes me feel good. My grandson has my husband's eyes bluish grey beautiful. I'm trying to deal with this minute by minute and second by second. It's so hard. We had no life insurance. I had 2 days to come up with $2,000 before they even started his services. Made me feel mad, angry but sad and empty. The Lord provides. Thank you for letting me share a little bit on the loss of my best friend, my rock, and my love.
Leslie Woody

  • by Karen
  • 1 year ago

Hugs to you. I know your struggle. My husband died in a car accident on Feb 1, 2017. I was following behind him and witnessed the accident and was first at scene. Today is his birthday. He would have been 47, and in a few days it's our 27th wedding anniversary. Nothing helps to relieve your pain. At least nothing helps mine. Just please know you're not alone and I'll be sending love and prayers to you.

  • by Jo Marlar
  • 1 year ago

My husband went home nearly 3 weeks ago. He had battled different health issues since 2008. We were married 40 years back in October. More than half my life. I am lost and feel as if my brain is in a fog. I know I still have a long way to go. Many adjustments ahead. I haven't worked in over 6 years so I could take care of him. I do have a great support team, but it just doesn't seem right.

  • by Trish Reid
  • 1 year ago

Paul died 6 weeks ago. We knew it was going to happen. His bladder cancer had metastasized after 6 months of chemo and immunotherapy. But it happened quicker than anyone could have guessed; hospice hadn't finished their paperwork. He could only sit reclined on the couch anymore, so I was sitting next to him while he slept. My head was on the pillow next to his at home when he took his last, quiet breath. I'm devastated. Even that doesn't sound strong or terrible enough to describe how I feel. The photo of the woman with her hand on her husband's pillow, at the beginning of this page, looks like me every night and morning. I, too, can't understand that he won't be coming to bed or coming home, ever again. It all just seems unbelievable that I'll never see him again. I can only cry when no one is around; why is that? Or on the phone sometimes, then I can't stop. I wanted to go with him and sometimes still do, just to see him and touch him again. I will love and miss you forever, Paul.

  • by Katie Belcher
  • 1 year ago

I'm 17, going on 18 in January. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 10 years old. Young kids, and we grew this far. He passed away at 22 years old on November 07, 2016. I guess I came here to seek help in some way or just to talk to others who've been through the same thing. I feel like I'm suffocating slowly without him. Every day feels like another heartbreak. I'm lost without him here...

  • by Cyndi Johnson
  • 1 year ago

I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel the same as you. I lost my love on Feb. 24, 2017, 2 weeks after his birthday. I've never been sadder in my life. We were together for 41 years. Sending many prayers your way.

  • by Nicolle Farmer
  • 1 year ago

I just recently lost my husband of 4 years. We have two small children together. He was 23. Died on Feb. 11, 2017. Motorcycle accident. He had been riding bikes since he was 3. I don't know how to move on from this. I can't think or sleep. I keep hoping and praying I'll wake up from this terrible week and a half dream, but it is never ending. My kids are going to be too young to remember their daddy, but I just don't want to be here without him.

  • by Immaculate
  • 1 year ago

I lost my boyfriend when I was 13. He was 18. I came here today because I was looking for him. I know too well that he's never coming back. Still I grope in the dark hoping I'll touch him, still I listen to silence hoping he'll say something. He's never coming back. I know that because he said, "If I ever leave, a piece of me that lives in you should blossom. I have given you my love, share it." Now I know what it means. Live on; all is well.

  • by Nancy Chappell
  • 1 year ago

Katie, I lost my husband of 57 years also on November 7, 2016. I feel your pain and know how your heart is aching. We had been a couple since we were 16 and 17 in high school, and he was my everything. I miss him so much, but I know he would want me to be strong for our children and grandchildren. You are young and you will find love again. Cherish all the memories you had together. That is what keeps me going even though the tears still flow and the hurt is still so fresh. God bless you and give you comfort in the days ahead. Nancy

  • by Sandra Masungo
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband on the 24th of October last year after ten years of trying to have a baby. I was left without a husband or a child. I AM SO EMPTY INSIDE. To lose someone I loved brings pain beyond belief. Every day I wish I could tell him how much I need him and miss him.

  • by Hava. Salimi
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband last October 23rd. I had been taking care of him more than 10 years. He had dementia and Alzheimer's. We had a very hard time, but I was happy with him. He was enjoying the life. I do still feel truly empty, lost, and I can't stop my tears in the public or with my friends. Sunday will be the first anniversary with him gone and his birthday too! In the morning I will be in Mont Rose cemetery for his first anniversary in heaven. I invited some friends in restaurants for dinner to celebrating his birthday too.
Thanks for your poem!

  • by Olivia Pitts Gonzalez
  • 2 years ago

July 22, 2016, my birthday, I lost the love of my life, Edwin Gonzalez. It has been 2 months, and the pain is unbearable. My faith in God and loving family and friends are faithful in their support, and I am grateful, but nothing at this time removes or lessens my grief. Sometimes I feel like people don't get it...I want to scream and say, "I just lost my best friend, my lover, my life. NO, I AM NOT OKAY." I know he wouldn't want me to be crying and so lost, so I try each day to be strong, remembering all that we did, our laughs, holding onto all the memories we created....thank you for this's 11:51pm eastern time, and as usual, I can't sleep because he is always on my mind.

  • by Khethiwe
  • 1 year ago

I feel your pain because I lost my hubby of 13 years in August of this year. We have no child either. I'm so angry. I'm always thinking what went wrong because he had only been sick for a month. I'm angry at myself, at the doctors, at him. Why he didn't fight harder? And I'm always thinking I didn't do my best. It's those questions every day and no answers.

  • by Carol
  • 2 years ago

My husband, the absolute love of my life passed away 5 months and 2 days ago. We met when I just turned 18 and were married for 35 years. If this can be an inspiration to all of you who feel the devastating pain as I do, I feel that he is not gone. When people tell me "I'm sorry for your loss", he is not lost.
Each day I am certain he is with me . .. love is eternal.
A few days before his passing, he burst into tears in his hospital bed and said "I can't lose you". I held his hand and said "Let's make a pact right here right now that I will never lose you and you will never lose me".
He is in the rays of light each day, he hears me talk to him, he checks on me . ... .. a love that deep and strong can never be gone.
This carries me forward every day until our souls are reunited in heaven and we are returned to each other for all of eternity.
Bless all of you. I feel your pain. I know the despair.
For he is not gone . .. .. he is forever in your heart. Much love and strength to you all.

  • by Ann Osborne
  • 1 year ago

This is what happened with my soul mate and me. I write a letter to him most evenings, and it's as though he is still with me, as he will always be. I FEEL his presence and know this is coming from my heart. I promised him I would learn to be happy, and this is what I am focusing on. All of our husbands would want us to be happy in our lives. Love never lets go...

  • by Erika Burlas
  • 1 year ago

Hi Carol, I feel the same. My husband and I got married in 1984 and spent 33 beautiful years together. I still feel him just like his body is still here. We promised each other that we will always be married to one another and that nothing and no one can separate us from our love for each other. He is the love of my life and my soulmate forever. And I can't wait to fall into his arms and finally be home again with him in God's eternal kingdom. I met him when I was 17 and he was 23. We have 4 beautiful children and 4 beautiful grandchildren together. I don't like it when people refer to him as was. He is, and your husband is also. They are right next to us. I, too, was there as Joe took his last breath. I wanted to go with him. I begged God to let me go with him. It hurts so much, I know, but I am also trying to be strong. The only relief is knowing that every day I live is a day closer to being with him again. I wish you God's peace.

  • by LISAJANE Lyons
  • 1 year ago

I lost my husband of 19 years on 10/15/16 at 9:27 AM. He had been battling cancer for three years. He wasn't the type to lay in bed or stay down. Up until delirium poked its unknown head, he was laughing and baking and picking our grandchildren up from school. Delirium, yes it came on his last week of life. I took him to the hospital and brought him home 6 days later to die in our room. I sang to him and read from the Bible and administered his pain drops. I have never felt so broken and out of harmony with every other living thing. Our dog. He loved her. She brings me comfort. But my heart physically hurts at times from the pain. He was the funniest guy ever. The laughter has been silenced. We were so poor but yet rich with love. He taught me to live simple. The greatest gift he could have left me with. We are raising three of our grandchildren. He was Papa and always will be. The type of papa who plays and goes out for Tylenol in the middle of the night. I loved him.

  • by Linda Maynard-Springall
  • 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing this, Carol. It will be 4 years this coming Monday (28 Nov 2016) since my husband lost his 5 months battle with cancer, and not a day goes by that I do not think of him. He is with me always as he'd promised me faithfully he would be. He also sends me blue morpho butterflies whenever I need reassurances as he promised he'd do too (they are in picture forms only as they are native to Costa Rica only). I feel his presence all the time and believe he hears me when I talk to him in private. I also talk to my dad, and no, I'm not mad! But we know nothing about life after death - only a hope that our souls live on, and so I hold on to that hope that we will meet our loved ones who have gone on before us. May God bring comfort and hope to those who are still in their stages of grief, and may your memories sustain you in your darkest hours.

  • by Ann
  • 2 years ago

Thank you so much for that post. My husband died April 25th and I am so lost. But your post was beautiful and a positive way to look at each day. Thank you my friend for that.

  • by Cheryl, Paisley
  • 3 years ago

Thank you for the poem! It is exactly how I feel! I lost my Husband in a tragic vehicle accident 5 years ago leaving me with a then 12, 10 & 8 years olds. People think I have moved on but I am not sure I ever will! I go to work, make sure I am there for our children & try to survive against all odds! Yes I am still angry at the senseless act of some one else, that caused the life to be taken from my husband & father! I am lucky if I can sleep for 5 hours a night, since that day 5 years ago! But I carry on! One foot in front of the other & try to smile!

  • by Mahmuda
  • 3 years ago

My husband was killed in a tragic car accident, 11th December 2006, I was left with 4 young children and a lifetime of sorrow. He would be so proud of our children, they are kind, loving, helpful and just plain wonderful. I tell them all the time that daddy loves them and is keeping an eye on them from heaven. BUT I can't get over the emptiness or the loneliness I feel without him by my side. When does this pain go away? He was too young to go so soon, it was never a supposed to be this way. We were supposed to grow old together, watch our children grow into adulthood, marry and have children of their own. We miss you every second of every day.

  • by Robin
  • 4 years ago

I lost my husband to murder. He came to my aid when I phoned him as a result of a minor fender bender in our townhome development. He just walked around the corner to assist me and heard someone hurling slurs at me. He was shot to death right in front of me. The killer has to this day not been arrested, but I am coming up on a grand jury hearing where my prayers of an indictment will be answered. I feel so much guilt; but isn't a wife supposed to call their husband when in need? It was my first instinct as he was only 1 minute away in walking distance from our home. I feel a number of different emotions, sadness and sorrow to anger and despair. I miss him dearly and deeply. Words can not express the roller coaster of emotions I deal with every day, every hour and every minute. He was my rock, my best friend. I just keep praying for justice and then maybe I can see the light of continuing life without him. My smile is masked and the days are long and dreary. When will the sun shine for me and the light of the sun on my back feel exhilarating once more. Can one really make lemonade out of the lemon of losing a husband? His absence will never be quenched. This lemonade stand is closed.

  • by Marilyn Strong
  • 2 years ago

I lost my husband on March 14th of 2015. I am so lonely for him not anyone else. People don't really understand the bond between a husband and wife. I keep trying to get my life together{ Other peoples words not my own}. I miss him every minute of every day and I know life will never ever be the same. It is so final and I have my faith. I have three grown kids that don't understand why Mom still is locked in this grief and crying every day. I can't explain it and only my heart understands why I feel so alone. He was a one of a kind husband that I loved so very much. I feel at times that I took him for granted and I can't imagine my life moving on without him. To all the widows that have written and shared their stories my heart breaks for you too.

  • by Crystal, VA
  • 4 years ago

I lost my fiancé January 4,2014. We were together for 14 years since I was 15. I'm now 29 with a 9 year old son (who looks just like his dad) and a 7 year old daughter. He was my son's best friend who was diagnosed with autism at the age of 5, and my daughters hero!!!! I'll never forget hearing those dreadful words and then having to come and take everything in me to explain to my babies they'll never see their father again!!! The pain I still feel everyday. I often imagine him walking through the door again and throwing our little girl in the air (as she had him wrapped around her little finger) and talking to our son about anything. My chest is so hollow and my heart skips beats daily!!! I strive for our babies but its so hard facing reality everyday. I don't think I'll ever love anybody like I loved him!!! But I do try to keep my head to God and have faith that he will see us through!!! I love you my beautiful Angel and I CANNOT wait to see that beautiful smile again!!!!

  • by Barbara, Louisiana
  • 4 years ago

I lost my husband, Emmett and son, James 1/24/12. They were in a car accident together. The date of their death is bittersweet as it was the anniversary of our first date. We were married for 34 years. We also have a daughter who still lives with me and I am so thankful for her. We have gone through the many stages of grief together. It is hard to put on a brave face all of the time but she understands me. People that I called my friends don't call, they don't know what to say. I wonder how my heart can keep beating and be broken so bad. The pain never goes away it just becomes more bearable with time. I miss them so much. Thanks everyone for listening.

  • by Marilyn Strong
  • 2 years ago

I am so very sorry for your losses. It is devastating and people don't know how to help. The best advice, love and empathy came from widows that had already been through the heart wrenching pain of loss. But to lose your husband and your son my heart breaks for you. I can't know how that feels and all I can say is that is so very sad and I hope that it softens having your daughter with you.
I lost my husband one year and two days ago. I am sad and am trying so hard but it is heartbreaking to me. We were married almost 34 years I miss him so much...

  • by Yustine, Batam Indonesia
  • 4 years ago

Today is the 1st anniversary of my husband's death. I try to smile and put on a "happy" face for the world. Mostly for my 2 precious daughters.
I am sad, depressed, angry, regret, devastated, miserable. The emptiness I feel consumes me and as the days go by it gets harder and harder to go on. As most of you have said no one, absolutely no one understands the pain I or any of us feel
The nights are just the hardest...his face kept haunting me...kept coming to my dream...I keep hearing a friend said that life still goes on, yeah it's easy for them to say it because they don't know how painful and regret I feel. I still miss him more than ever. Thank you for giving us life and sharing your smile. We remember you always. Pray for you always....RIP.

  • by Laura Thomas
  • 2 years ago

I lost my husband on March 6 of 2015. My birthday is today and I just feel so lonely without him. I moved to another city so I can try to change my thinking but it still haunts me.

  • by Evelyn, Surrey BECAUSE
  • 4 years ago

My Husband passed away December 19, I cry every night and most days. May 19 will mark the 5 month mark of his death and it is also our secondary anniversary, even though we were only married 2 years we were together for almost 25 yrs. I feel so guilty because he said he would die within the year he would die, I didn't take him seriously and we had 1 anniversary and never again will we share another one. I miss him terribly. Some days I just don't think I can make it another day. People expect me to be happy and I try to put on a mask but the moment I am alone the mask comes off and cry and talk to him. Will the pain ever go away. Will I ever stop feeling guilty for being alive while he isn't. I find myself looking for him everywhere I go and in everything I do, but he isn't there and it hurts so much. Will I ever stop wanting him to be with me?| I just don't know how I will survive without him.

  • by Sharon Benskin, Camberley
  • 4 years ago

Hi I lost my darling husband on 5 November 2013. Who is sadly missed. It's not a day that goes past that I do not think of him. He's been in my life since I was 17 and were married for 32 years on the day I will never forget 2 May will be our 33rd wedding anniversary and when that day comes I do not know what I'm going to do.

  • by Pauline Clifft
  • 1 year ago

Hi, l lost my husband in 2013, and we had been married 32 years. My life is so different. I suffer from anxiety and depression because l miss him so much. We were happy, so what happened? Life became too much for him and he couldn't cope. I fill my time in as much as possible and wonder if the day will ever come when l will be happy again. Nowadays l put on a happy front because l can't show how l really feel. My family just wants me to get on with what's left of my life, but it's so hard.

  • by Sandy, Cincy
  • 4 years ago

It's been almost 6 months since I lost my husband of 32 years. We had 3 children together and now have 5 grandchildren. He died suddenly at the age of 53. I had just left for work and my son found him putting on his socks early that morning. I wish I was the one to have found him so my son could have been spared such pain. My children are the strong ones. I am just so lost without him. And I am also tired of people telling me stop crying. My family has been great, but again since none of them has ever been through it. It's hard for them to understand.
Great poem!!!

  • by Betty Hendrickson
  • 4 years ago

It has been 1 year tomorrow since I lost my husband Cordy to cancer. He was diagnosed in January with lung and brain cancer. He had a very short battle. It was 48 days from the day he was diagnosed until his death. Our 30 year marriage was a wonderful one. We had a business together that we worked at every day together. I feel so much pressure from others to move on. For me, it's one day at a time and that seems so overwhelming. Most days I feel like I just want to be with him as it is next to impossible to push myself to move on. I wish there was an answer for me. Being a young girl of 19 years old when I met my husband, it's the only life I know and miss beyond belief. It's going to be a long haul. It's so hard to keep your faith. I pray every day I will get through this.

  • by Sandy Hogue, Palm Springs California
  • 4 years ago

I lost my husband just 2 days ago. It was sudden and I was woken up from him trying to catch his breath. I began CPR, I could not get him to wake up. Paramedics arrived and they took over to try to save him. My husband was unresponsive when they got him at the Hospital, Doctors came out to tell me that he passed away. I hurt beyond hurt, my heart is so heavy. I feel like I cannot go on, A part of me has died. I cry all the time, nights are worse for me. Waking up to an empty house and knowing that I am alone. Having to live without my husband who I adored, cherished and loved so much, I hurt beyond hurt. I love him so much and cannot believe he is gone. Just knowing I have to live my life without him scares me, I will cherish the kind of love we had for one another forever.

  • by Susan Smieja
  • 2 years ago

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 41 years December 27 th 2015. I truly thought I could not go on without him but every day gets better. I will never forget him he was the love of my life and I adored him. I started with one hour at a time and have progressed to one day at a time. I feel he is with me everyday and that is very helpful. You will never forget him but you will remember with fond memories and that will be a great comfort to you.

  • by Melinda, Ontario, Canada
  • 2 years ago

I lost the love of my life almost 5 months ago. I awoke to what I thought was him snoring but quickly realized something was horribly wrong. I turned on the light and tried to wake him up but he stopped breathing. I started CPR and called 911- they tried to shock him several times but were unable to revive him. Our kids are all grown and they are all wonderful but the empty house when I come home at the end of the day is almost unbearable. I miss him so much and know that my life will never be the same. The only thing that is keeping me going right now is thinking about how lucky I was to have him in my life and for that I will always be grateful. I have been told that things get better with time but I am finding it getting worse as I come to terms with the fact that I will never see him again. For now, I am taking it hour by hour, day by day and hope that someday I will be able to think about him and smile instead of cry.

  • by Kathy, North Dakota
  • 4 years ago

My husband Robert the love of my life passed away 3 days after our 34th Anniversary after a fall left him bleedIG in his brain. We fell in love at first sight. He was the most loving compassionate man I had ever met. We had one child. And now have 3 grandchildren. Which I love with all my heart. My husband passed away in 2011 and I am trying my best to do what everybody expects of me. But there are days that I feel so lost and alone. Everybody's answer to this is start dating. That will never happen, I am so in love with my husband and don't ever want that to change. The silence is deafening. I just don't know how or when this gets better. I love him and miss him every minute of every day.

  • by Alicia
  • 4 years ago

I just lost my husband on the 5th. All of your words are exactly how I feel. I feel lost, broken, sad, mad, confused, alone, guilty, weak, like I have no control. I can't fix this. I feel like I was given this huge book and when I picked it, it was full of stories, but now half through the rest of the pages are blank. Our love was written... where did it go? I know we had amazing times and each day if I am lucky I will remember new ones. I will love him forever more than I can explain. It's hard because he was just so amazing and he loved me unconditionally. I didnt have the best childhood and I was bruised before I met him, but he just accepted me, through everything. He taught me what LOVE and LOYALTY really is. I could not have spent the last seven years with anyone better. And even if at times, I didn't get it, he spent the last seven years where he wanted. He is gone so young but he felt what most people chase and look for their entire lives. He's the lucky one. I love you Jason!

  • by Kim Jollye
  • 4 years ago

I lost my wonderful husband, Brian, on November 22, 2013. We were together 27 years. He was the absolute love of my life, my best friend - my life. Some days I don't want to go on. I pray for GOD to take my life. We never were able to have children. I am so alone. I do have family that is trying to help but as we know the pain is too much to bear. I will never get over my loss and I look forward to the day I am reunited with him in heaven. I say this saying and this is how I feel. "You were the heart of my life and the life of my heart".

  • by Sharon Wilson, Brooksville
  • 4 years ago

I understand, too well. After I lost my husband on 1/19/2003, I heard the "move on" speech from almost all our "friends". When I didn't, because you can't, one by one they drifted away. Now I only have his Sister to remember him with and even she imposes limits. Grief has no timeframe and will go on as long as it wants. I feel that the more you loved and were loved in return, the worse the grief. I know my Stephen was my everything. He allowed me to grow, encouraged me and loved me no matter what. He was the only man who ever told me I was beautiful and daily told me I was, "cute times 10!". How would someone "get over" love anyway?

  • by Janice Bloom, Pocatello
  • 4 years ago

My husband of 41 years died the evening of our 41st wedding anniversary. I am sad and full of tears. He suffered with cancer and it finally beat him. He fought hard to stay with us. I really miss him. He is the love of my life. I thank God for him and our love...

Best Wishes to all and peace to all,

  • by Sharon Pacatang Lim
  • 4 years ago

I lost my husband 4 months and 10 days now to be exact. I terribly missed him, super missed. We've been together 3 years and 8 months as boyfriend-girlfriend and two days before were supposed to celebrate our 1st year wedding anniversary he left. That was the most painful part of my life. Until now, I'm grieving. Sometimes I feel I'm Okay but no, I'm still in pain. I pray to GOD that he will get me very soon so that I can be reunited with my husband again. People keep on telling me to move on and yes honestly slowly I'm trying to move on but I can feel the emptiness within myself now, living a life without him.

  • by Sue Dennis, Australia
  • 5 years ago

I lost my husband 6 years ago on the 31.8.2007. I still feel the pain and the heartache. They say as time goes by it gets easy will I am still waiting for that time. We were married for 34 years. He was not just my husband but best friend too. He was taken from me with an illness that they knew little about. I love and miss you Mike.

  • by Amanda, Florida
  • 5 years ago

My husband passed away almost 3 months ago at the age of 26, because people on the road do not know how to drive. We have no little ones so I'm left alone, fighting alone. This poem is exactly how I feel!!! Thank you

  • by Shannon, Michigan
  • 5 years ago

My Husband died suddenly in the night of our 25th anniversary. I tried to save him to no avail, An aortic aneurysm took his life within minutes. He was 49. The pain is so intense that I can only let it out in dribbles...throughout the day. By nightfall it takes me over. My fears, remembering the night, reaching for him. I don't know how to live, I was 16 when we became inseparable. He was always there, unchanging, my rock. Our families rock. I am going on hour by hour again. Day by day is just not working. Its been 27 days and feels like yesterday. I miss him so much, Can't fall asleep, night are the worst. Thank you for the poem. I thought I'd better get on a site that understands. I know my friends are tired of seeing my sadness on Facebook.

  • by Deb Tucker
  • 5 years ago

Tom is gone from my life. He was most of my life, so now I am just this empty shell. This Enormous emptiness engulfs what is my new normal life. How does one move on from something like this? Time, just only passes by. I am trying to fill my time with what has to be done, but I fell like I am just passing time. Empty, that's my life now, can't talk about him just thinking about him hurts and bring the pain and tears. It's only been 60 days since his life and most of mine ended. In a strange way I am glad he died before me because I would never want to put him through this kind of Hell.

  • by Gloria Noble, Falls City
  • 5 years ago

My dear husband had never been sick yet the last 17 days of his life was in a hospital. I certainly didn't know what to do, the nurse's came in and gave him some Morphine. He took 1 good breath and another then one tear, another breath and he was gone. No more do I get to hold his hand, hear his laughter, and hear that beautiful heart. He went home on March 17th I only thought I'd been thru it all NOT. I even doubt if I was a good enough wife hadn't I taken good enough care. I cry day and night some places I can't even go it was our place. I LOVED HIM SO MUCH & HE IS MISSED

  • by Julie
  • 5 years ago

My precious husband passed away August 10th, 2012. He left such an imprint in the lives of so many people, especially mine. We were so synchronously in tune for 46 years, I have felt at times as though my balance is thrown away. I have found that as I seek the Lord for His purpose for the remainder of my journey in this life, just giving and sharing memories of his good qualities, healing began in my heart. Oh how we loved celebrating life together, enjoying one another's company, finding beauty in each other and things we treasured together. Now I see a hint of new purpose unfolding as a flower petal captured on a camera lens, each day a hint more revealed. I hear the Lord whisper, "I have a purpose for you My child." And life is no longer standing still but purpose is unfolding. Thank You Lord for working all things in my life according to Your purpose (Rom.8:28).

  • by Pretoria South Africa
  • 5 years ago

I lost my John on 18 December 2008. We were married for 28 years and have two wonderful children. I miss him everyday and I still have his ashes in my home as I cannot part with them yet. I have not closed that chapter of life yet.

He was my friend, lover, confidant, teacher. I learnt so much from him as we got married when I was only 18 and he 22. He was a wise man and had so much to give. A third party took him away from me, one I could not fight and it consumed him and claimed his life. But through all his tribulations with this evil demon he stayed a wonderful father and husband.

Darling you were ripped from our lives so suddenly before we had the chance to say goodbye or sorry for everything. You are now in a better place. We miss you so much. R.I.P. John

  • by Marilyn, Littleton
  • 5 years ago

My wonderful husband died one month and two days ago. I feel as if I'm wandering through a landscape made of thick, sticky mud. I keep telling myself to just breathe and put one foot in front of the other. I have so much guilt because I didn't see how ill he was and he wasn't telling me because he didn't want to upset me. That's who he was - he always thought of my first. He is such a lovely, caring, patient, giving and tender person. Our life together was still so full of promise and dreams of things to come. I feel my life is over. I want nothing more but to be with him. I'm so sad and feel so alone. I can't get through a day without crying my eyes out. Everyone says - give it time - I don't want time - I want him. I just want to be with him but I'm too afraid to kill myself because I'm afraid I'll go to hell and never be able to be with him again. I can't bear this pain, but I will if someone can promise me that he will be there waiting when my time comes.

  • by Jennifer Fernandes
  • 1 year ago

Dear Marilyn,
I am reading these messages today because we lost a dear friend to cancer, and he has left behind a wife and young son. It is a couple of years since your post, and I do hope time has helped you heal... PLEASE take care of yourself, and do NOT think about taking your life in order to be with your husband!

If you have children to remember him by, then they need you, and you need to live for them. But even if you do not have children, you were left on this earth for a purpose - you have unique gifts that the rest of the world needs.
These messages of love are making me appreciate my loving husband more, and for that I thank ALL of you!
Love and Peace,

  • by Michelle, White Swan
  • 5 years ago

My husband, Johnny passed on November 2007. We spent 26 years together and we had 6 kids. We loved each other from first sight, and still to the end. Even now I love him still. I watched him get sicker and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do was to let him go. I didn't want to but cried and gave him permission to go. I felt guilty like I murdered the man who loved me. He told me he was ready and he knew the way, that's when I told him it's ok now you can go. I couldn't control my sadness. I am better than I used to be. My life hard with out him. Our children needed him, I needed him, all we have is each other. Life was wonderful and safe with him. I am blessed, thankful to have had him for so long. He was our center, our life evolved around him. We all miss him so much. Memories is what is left. I Love You Johnny, our family is big and beautiful with 9 grand children. Thank you for giving us life and sharing your smile. We remember you always.

  • by Erika, Salisbury Mills Ny
  • 5 years ago

Hello everyone, My name is Erika And I lost My Elliot, the love of my life on August 17th 2012 at 2:55 pm it was a Friday 4 days away from what would have been our 9th wedding anniversary. It has been 5 months and 14 days since I have seen his beautiful face, but yet it feels like yesterday that I saw his beautiful face. Elliot was my Husband, Lover, Friend, my person in every sense of the word. The emptiness I feel consumes me and as the days go by it gets harder and harder to go on. As most of you have said no one, absolutely no one understands the pain I or any of us feel. Melanoma took my Elliot away from me and I am angry at the world. Thank you for allowing me to share

  • by Audra
  • 5 years ago

My husband James passed Jan. 6 he was my life I don't know what to do. We would have celebrated are 20 year wedding day Jan. 25. It's so hard trying to maintain and figure out what to do day by day...

  • by Lat, CA
  • 5 years ago

Jan 2nd will mark the 2nd year anniversary of the death of my beloved husband. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him & imagine what life could be if he was still here. People don't know the feeling of losing a husband until it actually happens to them. Thanks for sharing your story & I will keep you all in my thoughts & prayers.

  • by Rebecca Bosco
  • 2 years ago

I just read the submission From Lat, CA. She was approaching the second anniversary of the death of her beloved husband. Her words helped make me feel not alone in my feelings as I approach the second anniversary of my beloved, Lou on 8-2-16. We had been married for 24 years (together 28). He was the "wings beneath my wings". Everyone thinks I am doing great as I have friends, involved in church and activities, and helping others, but in actuality, I am doing worse than I was a year ago. I always knew I was so much better with Lou than without him. This continues to be true. I was 40 when Lou and I married. I had never been married, he gave me the self confidence in myself to excel in my profession. We had no children together, but I am blessed to have his 5 grown children and families in my life. None the less, seems like I miss him more as time goes by. So glad I found this thread of emails today. Helps to read the feelings others have and are experiencing.

  • by Valerie
  • 5 years ago

Exactly how so many feel!
After a 15 month battle with melanoma, God called my husband home on December 19, 2012. We were together for 22 years. We spent most of our time together just talking about anything or nothing at all. We went almost every place together. We were never apart for more than a few days the entire 22 years. It's so hard trying to wrap my brain around him not being here. All our friends said we had a 'forever love'. Forever together heart and soul.

  • by Lynn, Canada
  • 5 years ago

I read all of these and feel like other people understand how I feel. My husband died almost a year ago and my boys are only teenagers. I feel like I am competing sometimes with my mother in law as her failure to move forward at all for my boys means she hurts so much more. I have to pretend to be happy every day, pretend to be 'normal' whatever that is anymore. I have lost my future and my love. I cry alone, at night because no one wants to hear I am not doing ok.....thank you for sharing ladies, it is comforting knowing I am not alone.

  • by Linda
  • 5 years ago

I am coming up on a 5 year mark when I lost my husband. Sad to say but it still hurts like it did the first few months. I have been to groups and counseling but nothing eases the pain and loneliness. Family was great in the beginning but now it seems to bother them. I still wear my wedding ring and I am living on but I just don't fit in anywhere anymore. Widow is a lonely harsh title that I never wanted. Thank you for the poem and it is comforting to know we are not alone in this world. Take care

  • by Kathy, KY
  • 5 years ago

I lost my husband April 25,2012 because of complications I believe from a male nurse trying to insert a pic line. Before two days were up my darling was gone. I really have no desire to go on. I really don't want to live without my baby. We have three grown children, and a 17 year old who will soon graduate high school. Yes the nights are hardest, sometimes you cannot sleep without some kind of help. My life and our children's lives changed forever on that day. On Christmas this year, he will be gone eight months. Yes you count every minute, every second, hour, day and week. Does life go on? Not for me, you see true love never dies, I truly love my darling and he truly loved me. So until I see him again, and I sincerely know I will, because he was a good Christian man, I will drag on. Life doesn't mean a lot anymore, Everyday he brought a smile to my face and my heart, and he brought joy to my soul, But Praise be to God, I do have the hope we will be re-united forever one sweet day, Gods blessings to you all.

  • by Betty Guevara, Pomona
  • 5 years ago

I lost my husband 15 days, 8 hours and 8 mins ago we just burying him yesterday. This poem hits home that I miss him the most at night cause in the daytime our kids are with me and grandchildren keep me busy, but at night no one is here. I miss him so much you see he was the love of my life and a great father and the best papa that ever lived it would have been 35 years on March 31 and now I have nothing but memory to comfort me at night.

  • by Gwen Jackson, Jackson
  • 5 years ago

I lost my husband 8 months ago, and this is how I feel. The nights are long, the days are short, and I keep praying and hoping it will get better. I try to go on for our kids, but sometimes it seems like they're the strongest. Everyone says it will get better but, until you've lost the love of your life, your bestfriend, your husband and soulmate... you will never understand my pain or what I'm going through. He will always be in my heart. Nobody could take his place because he was a one of a kind.

  • by Pam Williams, Springfield
  • 6 years ago

I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago, He was such important part of my life, my friend, lover, father to our children and a brother and son. He did so much for all of us, He was always helping people. Working around the house, God took him to soon, I was not prepared for him to go, I will never forget that day, He had just found out 1 month before he passed that he was going to be a grandpa, She arrived 3 days after his birthday, People keep telling me to move on and get over it, but I can't, I feel like the walls are coming down on me, its so quiet in the house, no one to talk to, no one visits anymore, I feel very alone, it is hard, I miss him so much

  • by Pat, Racine
  • 6 years ago

I lost my husband 28 weeks ago on his birthday. He went to work and never came home. I never even got to give him his birthday card. But for whatever reason we had his birthday dinner the night before. I look back at some weird things that happened and we said. On his way out the door that day he said, give me a extra hug and kiss for my birthday. The minute I received the call at work from his work I just knew in my heart that I would never see him again. Our 25th Anniversary is coming up soon and I don't know how I will get through it. So during the day I try to be strong but when I get home I miss him so much. He was my best friend, lover and husband. am trying to be strong and move on but it is hard.

  • by Jacquelinep. Taquilid Philippines
  • 6 years ago

I lost my husband 5 months ago, I am lost without him. He did everything for me. He took care of me when I needed things, he took care of me when I was ill, then it was my turn to do in return for him.
I miss him a lot, more than anyone knows. Every day is hard for me. It will take a long time before anything will come about. I will keep my husband always in my heart. I get up every day and think it is going to get better, sometimes it does and then it doesn't, unless you are with your friends or family. Some say you will get over it, well if you haven't lost a loved one close to you, you will never get over it. D ko alam kailan ako mkaka move on

  • by Danielle, Texas
  • 6 years ago

I lost my husband five months ago. He was killed one house down in my neighbor's yard on March 13th of this year trying to prevent an argument between two of our neighbors from escalating into gunfire and was shot from behind. He was 33 years old and would have been 34 in April. We have two children that at the time, were 11 and 1. Our youngest a girl turned 2, eight days after he was killed. Our son just turned 12, exactly five months from his death on the 13th of this month. It would have been our 13th anniversary on Sept 9th. He was my best friend and my one and only true love. I am 33 years old and have buried two daughters (one in 2004 and one in 2007) and now a husband. They are buried across from each other. Life moves on and basically drags you with it leaving you still trying to compute the harsh reality. When I read this poem I could really relate and am very sorry that you and your son have to go through this as well. God bless and keep you both on this journey.

  • by Cinthya, Florida
  • 6 years ago

I lost my husband six months ago on a day like today and this this is exactly how I feel. The nights are just the hardest, it feels like it gets worse everyday my family doesn't understand why I cry no one seems to understand all I keep hearing is that life goes on , yeah it's easy for them to say it because they doesn't know how painful and lonely you feel. I still miss him more than ever

  • by Cheryl, Chicago
  • 6 years ago

Dear Kathy,
I lost my husband 602 days ago. Yes, I count, days, weeks, months. People tell me I should get "over it". They just don't understand. I try to smile & put on a "happy" face for the world. Mostly for my four children.
I am sad, depressed, angry, devastated, miserable, lonely - sometimes I don't leave my house for days. I'm not "over it" and doubt I will ever be.
{{{hugs}}} to you and your son. Thank you for this wonderful poem. It's says everything in my heart .....and more!! XO

  • by Kandace Carson, Ont Canada
  • 6 years ago

The anniversary of my husbands death will be 10 years June 23rd and it still feels the same. I don't think you do ever get over it!
HE would be thirty and I am still angry!,

  • by Ruthann, Toledo Ohio
  • 6 years ago

I too lost my husband 4 months ago, I am lost without him. He did everything for me. He took care of me when I needed things, he took care of me when I was ill, then it was my turn to do in return for him.
I miss him a lot, more than anyone knows. Every day is hard for me. It will take a long time before anything will come about. I will keep my husband always in my heart. I get up every day and think it is going to get better, sometimes it does and then it doesn't, unless you are with your friends or family. some say you will get over it, well if you haven't lost a loved one close to you, you will never get over it.
Ruthann, Ohio

  • by Mindy, Chicago
  • 6 years ago

I lost my husband almost 7 months ago, and this is exactly how I feel. The nights are just the hardest. I keep hoping they will get easier, but they don't. The loneliness and emptiness are just overwhelming. My son is 13 and the only reason I have to get up every day. My friends and family try to be helpful, but they just don't understand. I feel so lost and alone.

  • by Carol
  • 7 months ago

I know this is an old post, but I found it, and I feel the same way. I lost my husband in August 2017, and we have a 14 year old. He passed at 71, and I'm only 49. With the age different we knew that he may not be here forever. But I really miss him, and our 14 year old is having such a hard time. It is so hard. There is no one to talk to. I feel guilty even thinking about a sexual relationship with anyone else. I know he wouldn't mind because he was very open, but I always say it is morally inappropriate, and I am so involved with my daughter's bipolar and anxiety that I do not have the strength to even think of anyone else. I can't sleep, and eating is very few and far between. Anyway, thanks for reading. Any thoughts would be great. I really miss my husband and his presence.

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