Not Ready For Goodbye

• by Shena
• 4 years ago

My dad lost his battle to cancer. I wasn't able to say goodbye to him because I was in a program that helped to stay clean to this day. He passed in 2011. Oh, I miss him so. I guess this is my final goodbye to you, Daddy. I know I will always be that little girl you raised to be strong. Thanks to you, I am a strong woman who is taking on your duties. Love and miss you, Daddy.

• by Dillon Weppler
• 6 years ago

I have recently lost my stepdad to cancer, and I didn't get the chance to tell him goodbye because I was out of town for work and the night he passed away it was storming very badly and we had tornado warnings, so I couldn't go home to see him. The sad part was that he was in such bad shape from the toxins in his liver building up to where he couldn't move anything but his eyelids to "talk" to us all. So if I would have gone home, I couldn't have had a decent conversation with him. But we were very, very close to each other. And I can say that we had a great relationship and hardly ever fought about anything. He was there more in the 7 years I knew him than my own biological dad was in 21 years I've been alive. I was having a really bad day thinking of the decision I made to stay up here and it's really hard not to blame myself now that it has all gone through. I would like to hear other people's stories that are similar to mine to have the comfort of knowing there are other people like me.

• by Vanessa
• 8 years ago

My father passed away 2 months ago. I can't accept that he is really gone. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I think maybe this was a long dream then I go looking for him throughout the house. I don't know if my father was in pain before he passed away. It hurts alot living without my father . He wanted to say something about me before he could stop speaking forever but never got to finish what he wanted to say. I miss him so much that it hurts. The only comfort I have is that I will see him in heaven when I die. Jesus promised that we will be together again. So I know I will get to see him again!

• by Kiyah, Baltimore Maryland
• 8 years ago

My father was murdered. Shot 11 times! He died on January 28th ,2013. It hurts to wake up everyday and not be able to call him. But I know that when it is my time to go I shall see his beautiful face again.

• by Joy, London
• 9 years ago

My dad died in a bad car accident when I was 6 months old so I didn't really know him but I love him and I truly miss him he's always in my heart.

• by Blankblank
• 9 years ago

I lost my dad to my own cousin and it's so hard. He passed on July 26 2009 I was 7 my sister was 9 I didn't really understand what happened but my uncle was trying to take him to the hospital. He was shot and a police pulled him over for going so fast he was trying to tell the police man his brother was dying but it was to late he passed and his brother was right there and had to be there when his brother passed.

• by Georgia, UK
• 9 years ago

My mum died when I was 18 months and never really knew her and I have 2 older brothers and I have never been really close to them and now my dad has emphysema which is a breathing difficulty. He has been told approximately another 10 years or less to live. I am 15 now and he has said to me that he won't stay around long not even for my sake. I am really close to my dad as there is no one else I can speak to, I am the only girl in the house and he's told me that he will try and stay around till I am 18 then go, but he also says that he doesn't want a funeral and now I am scared I won't be able to say goodbye or anything.

• by Jacinta, Victoria
• 9 years ago

I cried as I read this. I could be saying the exact same words. My dad is dying from a disease called MND. I'm 14 and I'm not ready to say good bye to him. But I will have to in a year or two. My siblings are younger than me and they have the same issue. My sister is nearly 12 and my brother is only 8. I don't want them to have to say goodbye to their dad. I don't want to either.

• by Lucy, England
• 10 years ago

I'm only 16 and my father passed away a month ago today so suddenly from a stroke, he quickly became unresponsive due to the bleeding in his brain and died within 12 hours! This poem genuinely brought tears to my eyes as it perfectly describes how I feel towards my own fathers passing. I will never forgot finding out the news and this has made me feel as though he'll always be by my side. Thank you.

• by Maureen Kiconco
• 10 years ago

The moment I started reading this poem, tears passed through my eyes remembering how my dad was my best friend but unfortunately he is no more but on the other hand it makes me feel like he is still around. I lost my dad on 25th July its been 3 years now but it seems like yesterday. Thanks it's a great poem.

• by Vee, New York
• 10 years ago

It's crazy how your life can change in a blink of an eye. My daddy passed away in July. He was hit by a car. I'm 26 yrs. old and live with my mom, brother, and sister. We are all suffering so terribly without my dad. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like no one understands. This was so fast and so sudden. How could this really have been his destiny.
I know now that I'm not alone and some of you have lost your dads instantly too. Getting hit by a car and dying really makes me feel worse inside. I wish I had a chance. A chance to say goodbye or even help him live and get through it. Guess not

• by Chan'Nel, Texas
• 10 years ago

Tears filled my eyes, as I read your poem. I am 24 yrs old and my dad is my everything. I just lost my father from a massive heart attack June 15, 2013. It was totally unexpected matter of fact we were getting ready for his birthday party he would've been 60 yrs old June 19. It still hurts talking about him in past tense so bare with me. I am still not in total acceptance that he's not here with us. They say Time heals all wounds, I hope they are right. God Bless you all!

• by Pensacola Fl
• 11 years ago

My dad just passed a week ago 04/14/2013, my dad and I were very close, I was at his house almost everyday, I just spent the weekend with him. And today is the week marker and I feel so blank. I feel so alone. I never understood this kind of pain before, but now I do and its killing me to know that my hero is gone.

• by Jenner, United States
• 11 years ago

Beautiful. I was 18 when my own father passed away from cancer some days I feel like a lost child I should be happy he's no longer in pain but I am not I just wanna kill my own pain and see his face once again.

• by Tabitha, United States
• 11 years ago

This poem has touched me it made me cry while I was at work. I lost my dad in March of 2008. I was only 14 years old at the time and my father meant the world to me. I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I wanted to but he knew I loved him. I still haven't gotten over his death and I still cry myself to sleep almost every night. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for crying about it still but a fathers love is stronger than anything anyone could imagine.

• by Lahore, Pakistan
• 11 years ago

I lost my mum in 2003 when I was only 22 years. Now I am 32 and father of 2 kids. My father died on 12th Sep 2012 by a sudden heart attack. At that time my wife was expecting and she was in hospital. My father came to see her. In the hospital I meet him. We take tea and he was in good mood. He left for home. After his leaving after 10 min I got a call that my father is on the road and in trouble. I ask them to take nearest hospital. I also reached there in hurry. When I reached hospital. My world, my roof, my life is vanished and now I am the loneliest person in my feeling. I cannot share my grief my sorrows. Now I read this and that's why I am sharing my wordings from my heart. Next day in grave yard I received a call that I also become a father of baby girl. Now I also become father of 2 and can't share with anyone my grief.

• by Paul Onyango
• 11 years ago

My dad passed on 15th day of January 2004 after I had a debate with him to accompany him to the hospital. When news of his death reached us I was and to date have never believed it. After reading the poems I feel I am part of the bigger family of many who have lost their fathers.
Will be having his memorial on the 28th December 2012. How I wish all I have read their poems could be with me. May his soul and the souls of all departed rest in perfect peace. Amen.

• by Lisa, New York
• 11 years ago

My father died October 29, 2011, the only day it snowed in New York last year. He was 92 years old but I still want him around. He had been on dialysis for a long time and had a bad heart. He is no longer suffering.

We have the unveiling September 30 and I am making a collage in memory of him to take to the unveiling. I also broke up with my boyfriend of five years so I have a double loss! I am more upset about my Dad. I am looking for other expressions to put on my collage. Thank you all for helping me grieve.

• by P
• 11 years ago

How do I say goodbye to my best friend? We leaned on each other when Mom died. Now what do I do? I can't fathom life without my dad. This poem made the tears flow. I hate cancer.

• by Naomi, USA
• 12 years ago

This poem explains how I feel too. I lost my dad to cancer 4/5/11 Three more days it will be a year. I can't even begin to describe how difficult it is. The pain is almost worse than it was a year ago. I guess reality knowing he really is gone and never coming back. I'll never get the images of him suffering and dying out of my head. My mom and I, one of my brothers and one of my sisters were by him until the end. It's been the worst year of my/our lives without him. He was just a wonderful part of our lives. My dad meant so much to us. I still cry my heart out. Hasn't gotten any better. I just want him back. But I know one day I will see him again. My Guardian Angel. So sorry for your loss. I feel bad for all of you. I really do. I don't know of anybody who can relate. I miss and love you so very much daddy xoxo

• by Sabrina, Las Vegas
• 12 years ago

Thank You so much for writing this. This is as close as I have been able to find to describe the grief I have right now. I lost my Dad on March 12, 2012. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor 9 months ago. The prognosis was 18 months as it was inoperable. He fought and with chemo and radiation it was shrinking and dying and they would have been able to remove it and he would have had at least 10 more years. We had hope that he would have been able to live longer. His death was very unexpected and the grief is unbearable at times. I am 32 years old and will never get to have my father walk me down the aisle or meet any children I might have. This is my nightmare come true.

• by Rogelio
• 12 years ago

My father died 30 days ago..it's so hard for me to believe that he is not longer with us. I remember his pretty face and sweet smiling every day. Why god took him if he was a good man? Father, me and my mommy are missing you so much...it's hard to let you go and even more it hurts me to see mommy so sad and lonely ..we miss you eating together. You were the greatest gift dad thank you God..

• by Mahina Ashdown Deponte
• 12 years ago

I'm really sorry for your loss...I do know how you feel I have just recently lost my dad on March 26 2011, he had been sick with lung cancer, and major liver damage. I am a 13 year old girl with an older brother and two older sisters...as each day goes by we hope we get stronger all though it hasn't happened yet...I do hope you are strong now...

• by U.S.A
• 13 years ago

My daddy just died last night. I am still not ready to say good bye Daddy. I don't want to let you go. I want you to be there to walk me down the aisle. But you won't be there. I'll have to walk alone. I have to let you go Daddy. But I can't, won't, and never will. I may have never met you Daddy. But you were and always will be My Daddy. No matter the reason I couldn't see you I will always love you and will always be proud of you Daddy. I miss you Daddy. I love you Daddy. I will never forget you Daddy. I will never let you go Daddy. And I will make you proud of me Daddy. I want you to have been proud of me Daddy. I will always be thinking of you when I have to make a decision. I will do the right thing from here on out just for you Daddy. I miss and love you Daddy. See you on the other side Daddy.

• by Hannah, Northern Ireland
• 13 years ago

I've read all your stories and up until now I felt that no one else felt my pain. I am 25 and I lost my dad to lung & bone cancer on the 9th April 2010. He is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of at night. Everyday is a struggle to get on in life without the most important man in my life. My dad the smartest, kindest man who I miss every minute of everyday. I completely understand and sympathies with this poem. Sorry for your loss.

• by Heather, Illinois
• 13 years ago

My father was diagnosed with cancer two months ago. After they opened him up for surgery yesterday, they found that he was too cancer ridden and there was nothing more to do. He is still in the hospital and we are hoping he comes home soon to spend his last days with his family. My father is turning 61 in three weeks and I'm only 30. This was very hard for me to take as I was in deep denial that he wasn't going to make it. I feel like I'm having a nightmare I can't awake from. Reading your poem has touched my heart.

• by Kim, New Jersey
• 13 years ago

I absolutely loved the poem. I couldn't stop crying as I read it. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer in April of 2002 and died in August 2002. So I went through the same thing. He was my everything. Even now it is still hard getting through some of the special occasions without him, certain birthdays and my wedding was the hardest by far. You just have to remember that our fathers would want us to be happy and that we will see them again someday.

• by Ellie, Bulgaria
• 13 years ago

Thank you for sharing this poem. My father was killed 15 years ago. I was 11.
It didn't hurt as much when it happened, as it does now, or as it did when I was teenager and all the days in between. Growing made it harder.
I hated him for leaving me, even though I knew it was not his fault. But I was selfish - I needed him, and I was angry at him.
I wish I could explain to him why I was angry, to let him know I love him. I know I can't, but I don't know how to stop imagining what I'd say, or how to stop imagining if somehow (impossibly somehow) he comes back.
And I'm still asking myself whether I'll ever be ready for a goodbye.
In the future you (Megan) might find yourself searching for him in other people. Don't. I can only say to you to stay close to your brother. He can give you a part of what your father could have given you.
The important think is to learn to be happy with what you have without being sad for what you don't have. I'm still trying to learn that.

• by South Africa
• 14 years ago

I've read the poem and all your stories and for some reason I now feel that I'm not alone, cause at some point I felt I was, I'm a 21 year old female and just lost my mother 2 days ago, I don't really know what I'm feeling or will be feeling next year but thanks to you guys and this website I think ill be able to make it.

• by Kodi Esswein
• 14 years ago

this poem has touched me. my dad passed away march 10th of 2009, of cancer. he had lung and bladder cancer. we all thought the chemo was working and then he got diagnosed with leukemia. the leukemia is what killed him. it is so hard. I think of him every moment, of everyday, but I'm getting through it and I love this poem.

• by Ranja
• 14 years ago

I am truly sorry for the loss of your father. I too know this pain as I lost my Mum in 2007 to lung cancer and then exactly a year later I lost my Dad to bladder cancer. As much as I wish they were still here with me, I am thankful that the cancer took them both quick and they did not have to suffer...although I would have rathered them not get sick at all. My one advice to you is that in time you learn to deal with the pain. I'll be honest...it never goes away but you somehow learn to get up each day and hold back the tears that are forever behind your eyes. I hope you find peace in knowing that your Dad is not suffering anymore and I am sure he is looking down on you and your brother with pride and admiration of the legacy he has left behind. Take care sweetie...xx

• by Margaret, South Africa
• 14 years ago

It has been very difficult, hard, unbearable, not so understanding. I lost my father in 2005..I'm unable to connect with anyone spiritually, as I secretively relied on my father, He himself never knew, I guess that makes it hard .This poem is so spot on as I never thought anyone would know what I went through, thank you so much. I would like to be able to talk to him, just to let him know how I felt and feel about him. I just Pray to God that he lets him at least come to my dreams, just ounce, I pray. I really can't let go. Even though God has been my refugee. THANKS FOR THIS POEM

• by Brianna, Milwaukee WI
• 14 years ago

This poem is exactly how I feel. I am 22, and my father was diagnosed with Lung Cancer in July, 2009. He passed away on Christmas Day, 2009. It's hard for us to understand why and the selfish part of me (as with us all) wants him to be here. It helps me to know that he is no longer suffering, he is now my ultimate guardian angel, and soon we will be reunited. Thank you for this poem.

• by Olivia, Peabody
• 14 years ago

Hey, that was one of the best poems I have ever read in my entire 16 years of living. This year, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and he was going to be cured. The chemo was almost over when he suffered from a heart attack and passed away. I am only 16 so we're around the same ages. But I was the one doing CPR on my dad because this happened in my house and my mom was in panic mode. It is soo hard and I have to be the one to be strong for my mom and my little brother. And by the way I am sorry of your loss.

• by Jessica, Bessemer
• 14 years ago

I cried as I read your poem cause I just lost my father to cancer. It is so hard right now but I know in time it will get better cause God is with me, but the hard part right now is that he died in the morning before I got up out of bed and I found him in his room and he was living with me. I'm going to miss him so much and I would give anything for one more day with him.

• by sarah
• 14 years ago

I really felt this poem down to my soul, my father who was only 59 died of cancer and this is exactly what I felt like. no one can take the place of a girls father.

• by Emily Guthrie
• 15 years ago

I cried and cried as I read your poem. It broke my heart b/c the words that you wrote were as if you had read my mind. I'm 23 years old and on October 26th, 2008 I lost my best friend, my father. He had a massive heart attack and stroke in one day. He had bleeding in the brain that left him unresponsive. He lived two and a half days before passing away. I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry for your loss!