Hurting Poem by Teens

Fighting The Shadows Poem: A Journey Of Self-Harm And Regret

There was a time in my life where it seemed as if life, or God was playing a cruel game with me: my parents split up again, I gained an eating disorder which almost killed me, I broke up with a partner I had been with for a long time; and it began to make me feel pretty worthless; depression crept in and it soon lead to self harm. Some scars of my past just won't go away and I regret them every day. This poem is about how I felt at that time, and also to let teens know they are never alone.

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Honey, no! You are strong. You are beautiful. Don't believe them when they say you deserve it. You don't! Please, whoever you are, know that people in your life will be mean because they are...

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Scarlet Tears

Published by Family Friend Poems July 2011 with permission of the Author.

Fires ablaze within my eyes,
A smile concealing all my lies,
Screaming, begging, calling out,
A final, frantic, desperate, shout.

Scarlet tears drip from each vein,
A vehement covet to end this pain,
This silver blade, stays by my side,
Because all hope inside has died.

As each day ends, and darkness draws,
The devil toys, with all my flaws,
I'm helpless, alone, a worthless mess,
A broken child, he must address.

I'm tempted when he calls my name,
A way out, an escape, an end to shame,
To make it feel a lot less real,
A deal with the Devil, in blood must I seal.

They'll say I died of suicide,
But no one knows how much they've lied,
It wasn't a rope, a blade, or pills,
That broke my soul, and gave me chills.

I died inside so long before,
To live each day, an endless chore,
Pills could not kill what was already dead,
A twisted soul, an empty head.

In darkness I wait, in silence, alone,
Rose-tinted nostalgia, all around me has grown,
I beckon the devil, with the key of self-harm,
And I open the door for him, with the blood of my arm.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!

by CLAYTON MANNS
5 years ago

I was in a similar place once. People who loved me without me knowing brought me out before I got to cutting, but I still feel that little voice. "What if you were gone?" it says. What if I was gone? No. Not today, not ever. People care about you, even if you don't know it. Suicide only brings pain to those who love you. It is not an end to pain but the beginning of a new level of pain for others. PLEASE don't do it.

by Evilynn Lester
6 years ago

I feel your story. I live with depression and had to get help because it got so bad I cut. My dad left 2 weeks before I was born. I attempted suicide 3 times.

by Charlene Faith Plowman
6 years ago

Put down the gun. Put that blade away. Don't pull that trigger. Don't cut to feel the numbness. Try to keep your mind off of it. Go out with friends and family. Stay alive, no matter what it takes. Be brave and strong. You can make it through this.

by Chantelle
6 years ago

I started to self-harm age 10. I'm now nearly 13. This poem is really good and true. Keep writing. Stay strong.

by Zina Khebou, Africa
7 years ago

Deep. This stopped me from sulking all day again. I wrote my own feelings on a paper. It that takes a powerful poem to be able to do that. Keep up, you've got something more than talent. Don't know you, but you're loved.

by Jenny
7 years ago

I write poetry as well, and my inspiration is from many things: past self-harm, my great- grandfather dying, having suicidal thoughts, being raped and having depression and anxiety since I was 6. I just want everyone to know, no matter what the people at school call you, you are never nothing. You may hear this a lot, but it's actually going to be ok. Maybe not now, and not soon, but you will find your peace one day.

by Esti Goldstein
8 years ago

I just want to say that although this has ever happened to me I want you to know that your poetry is amazing, heartfelt, and some of the best I have ever read. Keep writing, I know personally it's the best way to take out your anger and sadness. Never give up on the sky.

by Kendall O. Evans, Mokane, Missouri
8 years ago

This is an amazing work. Clever wording sucks you in, especially if you can relate to what story of hardships it tells. To whoever wrote Scarlet Tears: I love your poetry. You're truly mesmerizing. Please pursue writing and poetry.

by Debbie Blanch
9 years ago

This poem is so deep, and you have spoken nearly every word for me. Not only is it so realistic and forward, but you can almost feel every word you speak.

Your words are so very true. We are already dead or dying in the process when suicide creeps into mind.

I have suffered depression and it is amazing the strength you have been able to undertake and show to be able to write this, to actually express how deeply affected you were. Thank you so much for your courage!

by Jennifer, Ireland
9 years ago

That poem was truly inspiring. I myself have went through that awful stage and believe me that poem brought tears to my eyes. The memories it left was unbelievable. I could imagine it all so vividly. You have a true talent for writing :)

by Clara Eve
9 years ago

Wow. I loved that poem. When I read it, I clearly felt the writer's sadness and stress. Keep writing!

by Brianna A
10 years ago

That is beautiful. Fantastic job. Recently I've been thing of suicide but I get scared and back out.. I don't know what to do to numb the pain. It's starting to feel as if that's my only option.

by Lynne Fernandez Ontario
9 years ago

I'm 15 and have suffered from depression for two years in total, with a one year "break." I've been in that same position and I suggest getting professional help, if you have access to it. Talk about it, talk to your friends and family and if people don't listen to you, find someone else to talk to. Don't let yourself think that your feelings aren't worth anything, this is a common mistake. Try to find at least one good thing every day in your life and write it down. It can be anything, big or small, and you can read over your growing list when you feel particularly down. These are the things to live for. Also, try to be honest with yourself and remember that healing takes time, and although you are in a dark place, it can and will get better. Stay strong! I believe in you!

by Brandy, Az
10 years ago

This poem is so beautiful. I know that sounds horrible but it is so true. I have tried to commit suicide countless times and I am only 15. I used to cut so bad. I was in residential housing for troubled teens for 9 months and a mental hospital for 10 days. I slap on this happy facade everyday and laugh and try to be goofy. Then I see a knife gleam or string dangling or a cabinet full of pills that calls to me. I won't even take meds if I have a headache because I'm scared. This is such a true poem that it affected me greatly. Thank you. Please please please keep writing. You will and already are saving lives.

by Erica, Alabama
10 years ago

When I was young my father left. He was a drunk and an addicted smoker. He met my abusive stepmother over the internet and he asked her to marry him after only three weeks! She soon got knocked up and had a miscarriage, then got pregnant again and had Gregory. When Gregory was 5 months old she took him to Illinois. My father was stupid and followed her up there. He's been in and out of jail 56 times since he met her! He never calls me, never tries to visit me, never sends child support to my mom, never does anything to provide for us. I began cutting after he left. I attempted suicide by overdose, deep cuts, and poison intake. I somehow survived it all. It angers me when people who have loving parents, who buy them anything they want, love them, provide for them and all, go and complain about how horrible they are. People tell me they know how I feel, but they don't. They know nothing about how I feel. It angers me very much.

by Kayleb Matthews
11 years ago

Let me tell you my story:
I was abused as a little child throughout my life. I was kicked, thrown, punched, bruised, and neglected. I was adopted at age of 13 by aunt and uncle. I accepted Christ into my life, but then my biological mom died of alcohol poisoning. I then tried several times to commit suicide because the last words I said to her was "I you!" then a year later I was baptized. But then my Biological father died of a overdose, and that's when my whole world shattered. I started huffing, and cutting, and suicidal thoughts. But remember God is there the whole time, even in times of struggles. GOD Bless

by Serra, OH
11 years ago

I've 'opened the door for the Devil' myself. I cut sometimes, with a regular pocket knife. Ironically, my dad gave it to me for self-defense reasons! But that's just it. That's the kind of crazy sh*t I always pull. It's not like I want to die. I don't think I want to hurt myself, but I do it. I've tried to quit. Once I went a full month without cutting. I was so proud, thought I'd done something right for once! Then there was this 'family feud' between Mom and Dad, me and Dad, Mom and my brother, me and my brother... They were all separate feuds, actually, at the same time. So yes, I'm cutting again. Through it all, I've told no one. It's not like I can tell my family.

by Kitty, Virginia Beach
11 years ago

This poem is so beautiful I read it for my class at school today and they really loved, it all I've been able to think about today.

by Jasmine
11 years ago

This poem was really good I really liked the end words they've stuck with me through the tough times I'm glad your writing was put out there its beautiful <3

by Katniss
11 years ago

Wow. that's amazing! My 15 year old sister tried to commit suicide about a year ago and has been in a mental hospital since. I could never understand completely what it is like but reading other peoples stories and poems really helps. Very moving. KEEP WRITING! I hope everyone can see what a beautiful person they are.

by Samantha
11 years ago

I get abused and raped by my ex boyfriend/ neighbor my parents hate me and are in and out of jail so often I could make a scrap book just from their mug shots. My sisters make fun of me and torture me every day. I am mute so I can't really tell anybody.....I've tired suicide countless times and still do.... I cut... But is that such a horrible thing? He rapes me..... But he says I deserve it..... He told me he is making they world a better place if he kills me because there will be less scum on the face of the earth if I was gone..... I can't even eat any more.... I've already lost ten pounds and still losing I just wanna die as quickly as possible

by Mel
7 years ago

Honey, no! You are strong. You are beautiful. Don't believe them when they say you deserve it. You don't! Please, whoever you are, know that people in your life will be mean because they are hurt and that is how they cope with it. But that doesn't mean you have to put up with it. If he rapes you ever again, go straight to the hospital. They can get DNA tests and then you can prosecute. Fight back! I believe in you! Just remember - there will always be someone who cares.

by Jane, Manchester
11 years ago

I'm a mum and suffered abuse for twenty two years and there's not a day goes by that I don't feel as if I've died inside at this time of my life I look at the motawy bridge over the road from my home and feel the warmth. There is light at the end you just have a new day every day and a family that need some one to be there for them always that's what keeps me going. Thank you for helping me feel not alone, I understand I'm no freak but others just don't understand they think I'm weak !!!!!

by Tiffany, Colorado
11 years ago

You gave me chills.... It's been along time since I tried to kill myself.. The mind works in mysterious ways. Luckily and, unfortunately, I forget a lot of things. Things that have happened to me. Things that I've done. I have been able to forget a lot of abuse from a lot of sources..... The unfortunate part is all of those events made me the person that I am. I have to search for myself by reading poems like yours. Your words have opened a window into myself. To a place in my life where I learned about who I am and about the world around me. Thank you for bringing me to a place that is hard for me to get to on my own. You never know who you are until you understand the person you used to be.

by Kiana Baker
11 years ago

I LOVE this poem!!!! I've read and re-read it a million times. I'm a cutter and this poem describes word for word how I feel! Thank you for writing this poem

by Iman
11 years ago

I am in awe, seriously. I really enjoyed reading your poem. It's truly awe worthy. Very effective in communicating the message. Brilliant.

by Cowgirl Up, Edna
11 years ago

I've tried to kill myself countless times before. It was so amazing that I could take 3 different kinds of pills 20 of each anda not even end up in the hospital. I've been bullied my whole life and still am being bullied but I've moved passed that and I've grown stronger and I'm so much happier now. I owe all that to my best friend I love him so much. He's like a bro to me.............if it wasn't for him I probably wouldn't be here cuz he gave me someone to talk to when I was having a bad day.

by Steven Lown, Mooresville
11 years ago

This poem is just so deep, and personally, very influential to my writing. I would give anything to be allowed to turn this into a song! Seriously, Anything!

by Hannah, New York
12 years ago

Sometimes I do open the door for the devil.............. But I never EVER wanted to........

by Joshua Durney, Tracy
12 years ago

those last two lines of yours are brilliant, absolutely amazing, I love your poem, great job!