Depression Poem by Teens

A poem written by a teen who had most everything yet was still very, very depressed. She was hopelessly afraid to tell her parents, even though they probably would have been very understanding. She had this problem for a few years.

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Yeah, I know depression sucks. I put on a mask, and when I get home I break down, wanting to die. It hurts going through school pretending to be okay, and when someone asks if you're okay,...

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The Mask


Published by Family Friend Poems November 2009 with permission of the Author.

I'm great, fine, spectacular. In a way
I relish every night, and I live every day.
I live, I laugh, I write, I sing.
I wonder what the new days will bring.

Then I get home, and I take off the mask.
The day, and almost impossible task,
is finally over, so I lie down
and wait patiently for the day that I die.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
even though I have promises to keep.
I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,
and I ache and burn from my very core.

Then I'm not alone, and the mask reappears:
out goes the grief, pain, and all of the tears,
as I am a happy person, cheerful all the day.
A world full of rainbow, not one shade of grey.

Of course I'm not okay, I'm not fine,
no matter how much I seem to shine.
I don't even know why I feel this...
why my existence is one long, endless abyss.

But it is and will be, so I cling to life,
as one day I might slip and end it with a knife.
But I'm still here, no matter what my dreams might say,
and I hope that one day I will actually be okay.


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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Melissa by Melissa
  • 5 years ago

I totally relate with you. Everyone feels I'm Miss Sunshine and know me to be ever smiling. Deep down I know it's all a lie, and it kills me having to mask my true feelings and emotions. Crying in the dark when no one's there and the people I tried to tell never understand, saying it's just a phase.

  • Melissa by Melissa
  • 5 years ago

I totally relate with you. Everyone feels like I'm miss sunshine and knows me to be ever smiling. Deep down I know it's all a lie and it kills me having to mask my true feelings and emotions. Crying in the dark when no one's there and the people I tried to tell never understand, saying it's just a phase.

  • Jazmine Nance by Jazmine Nance
  • 5 years ago

It's crazy how this is actually me. Nobody really knows the real me and how I've tried killing myself in the past. I'm only 14 years old, and the only type of love I've have felt is violence. I've had to put on a fake smile to make it seem like I'm happy when I'm not.

  • Janzlei Faith by Janzlei Faith
  • 5 years ago

I know how that feels. The only love I have felt is pain. This poem describes me. I wear a mask to hide the real me: the broken, sad, depressed - a girl who thinks about death. This poem is telling the life of the writer.

  • Joana by Joana
  • 6 years ago

This poem is me and how I've been living for the past 20 years. How many more years do I have to go?

  • Stephen by Stephen
  • 6 years ago

I relate a lot to this. I am a very broken man. When I was young, I was avoided and left to myself. Around 3rd grade I made real friends. I was happy, but then they started talking to me less and eventually pretended not to know me and eventually outright abandoned. I was expected to carry on and was often made fun of. It was official. I was no longer wanted, so I moved on. Eventually finding another group, the same thing happened, only this time I knew better. I stood in the back and barely talked. When I did, I was yelled at. So middle school rolls around and I finally build the courage to come out as bisexual. I did not think much of it. But they did. The stuff they said to me and the things they did to me cut deep. Around that time every time I woke up I wanted to die. Every time I went to sleep I wished to never wake up.

  • Zoey Miller by Zoey Miller
  • 7 years ago

I have been struggling with depression for the past year. I know what it is like having to walk around school and church with a mask. Acting like the world is okay but in reality you just want to die.

  • Jocelyn by Jocelyn
  • 6 years ago

Yeah, I know depression sucks. I put on a mask, and when I get home I break down, wanting to die. It hurts going through school pretending to be okay, and when someone asks if you're okay, you say you are, but you really just want to cry and vent to that person. I have been through fake friends, breakups, abuse, and drugs. I got sent away twice, I ran away, and I got suspended from school. I want people to notice me and see the real me. I want to be like those kids who have no worries and their parents love them and they have friends. But I'm me. I don't belong here. I've attempted suicide twice, but I'm still here.

  • Divyanshi Verma by Divyanshi Verma
  • 7 years ago

This is exactly how I feel. When you know you have no one who will understand what you feel, you have just one option left: to smile and let go!

  • Ashley by Ashley
  • 7 years ago

If I was creative and knew how to write. This is exactly what I would have wrote. This is amazingly easy to relate too.

  • Butterpup36093 by Butterpup36093
  • 7 years ago

My mask has created its own living being...Krystan. Krystan is my real name, but it means nothing. I'm 12 years old, but I know things about depression that I shouldn't know at all. My parents say the Internet is filling me with lies. That my life is perfect......then why am I constantly hiding away behind a mask. My friends think it's a phase....that's because they are loved by idiots. My life is a mirror, it shows me how imperfect I am... The poem was an amazing work of thought. I love the truth behind every word. Goodbye....

  • Gracie L. Gross by Gracie L. Gross
  • 6 years ago

I know it has been one year since you wrote that, but Krystan, you have to realize that many people are in the exact same situation. I am. My name is Gracie. I am around your age, and depression, self harm, and suicidal thoughts have been a part of me for almost two years. My mother knows nothing about it, but my friends do. It's hard, but I keep up the fight because there is always someone/something who needs me. The same goes for you. No one understands unless they have been though the same thing. I completely understand, and it's okay if you think otherwise. Just please don't let depression win. I know that I'm a hypocrite for saying that, but I just don't want anyone to go through this alone. I don't know you, but you have me, and you can count on that.

  • Adaya by Adaya
  • 8 years ago

This is me. Literally. I'm 13 and I already have so many masks. The happy one. The laughing one. The school-was-good-mom one. I dread being alone because then all of my thought just pour out, but I hate being with my parents, and I hate being with my friends, so I basically hate being. OK I'll stop talking about what I hate. I love this poem because I feel like it speaks for me, and so many other people.

  • Tamia Barros by Tamia Barros
  • 7 years ago

I feel the same, I can't talk to my parents cause they think that I'm just being over dramatic, and I can't talk to my friends because then they will feel pity of me and act like I have cancer or something. I can't tell anyone but if I keep it in as much as forever then I will become more depressed. And I know you may be thinking how old is this kid, and although I'm only 12 years old, I know a lot about being depressed. I have been for 6 years now..

  • Vigil0112 by Vigil0112
  • 8 years ago

WOW this poem is so true. I can agree with every word in this poem. I am 17 years old and I already have tried to end my own life. I used to wake up every morning and put on the same mask. Nowadays I have gotten to the point were I do not even care to put the mask on anymore. I am tired of covering up who I am just so someone else can be happy. Anyways enough about me, wonderful poem.

  • Nobuhle Gasa by Nobuhle Gasa
  • 9 years ago

I feel like running away from myself, as if somebody is taking over my thinking, who could this be? My shoulders feel tight and holding the pain everyday, this pain is taking control and my tears have shared in the company of pain within me. If mirrors could talk, my family would know this by now. Writing the pain down weakens its strength and now I'm free from pain because I've shared it with you.

  • Mary by Mary
  • 10 years ago

I feel the same way too. Me and my boyfriend broke up and he moved on but I didn't move on I'm still here trying to figure out why. So early we just started dating two days later he says I'm leaving you and I said okay, and every morning when I turn the radio on I hear the song happy and I just start to cry from that day on I never laughed or even cracked a smile.

  • Sherrickia Brown by Sherrickia Brown
  • 10 years ago

I am 17 years of age and very dark and desolate. All I feel is hate, to feel loved I'm desperate. The way how people bring me down, with just mere words. Hurts me to the core, but I still try to pull through.

I am always down it has even worsened to the point where I can't even eat anymore. I do not have anything left to live for in life. I feel worthless, hopeless and dead and I am really trying to end my misery.

  • Jennifer James by Jennifer James
  • 7 years ago

I feel like I must reply to this because reading the poem made me well up but this, your comment, made me wail. I have never been to the doctor or anyone for that matter, but deep down I know that I'm depressed, and have been for a while now. I just don't know what to do because I don't want to and haven't told my parents because I feel like they'd think I'm just being dramatic; I don't know. I do not know why I feel like this or what to do about it. Tips and/or advice, anyone? Who do I tell?

  • Kat by Kat
  • 10 years ago

I am 23 and a just got out of the hospital today for depression. I still am but I have been going to group and etc for it. Seek help if you ever feel like this. Don't wait like I did. It's okay to get help. Don't hide it like I did or it could come out in a huge bad way like it did to me.
We all need help and there is nothing wrong with saying "hey, I need some help." Trust me do it before it all goes wrong.

  • Katy by Katy, Arkansas
  • 10 years ago

Hiya, I'm Katy and I'm 13 almost fourteen. For awhile now, this has been me. I knew others felt this way and I try to comfort them, when I can't even comfort myself. I know there is hope. But people just keep pushing me down. When I was 8 something terrible was done to me by a man that caused everything to go down hill. Then I have gotten bullied since I was 8. I know there is hope at the end of the tunnel. But damn, this tunnel is long.

  • Lucia by Lucia, Illinois
  • 10 years ago

I'm 13 years old too, it's amazing how many people who commented were 13:). I know just what you are feeling, everyday I put on the mask that is happy, cheerful, and has no worries. That is what everyone around me also thinks, that I am a happy, fearless girl, but in the inside I'm not. I feel depressed when I'm alone and not happy. Sometimes those suicidal thoughts come to mind, I once cut myself but stopped, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with an everyday mask.

  • Keiy by Keiy, Georgia
  • 10 years ago

I've felt this way since I was at least eight. The feeling did go away (or fade into the background) for a few months but came back stronger than ever in July. When I found this poem it hit me hard. I didn't think there was anyone else that felt the way I did, that knew what it's like to where this "mask" every single day. This poem has become my all time favorite poem. I will forever love & cherish this poem because of the fact that it is a part of me.
I want to thank whoever wrote this poem. You've shown me that I'm not alone. Thank you.

  • Andrew by Andrew, Canberra
  • 10 years ago

This poem is one that I fell in love with instantly. I can relate to this entirely, the confusion, pain and the mask.
I am a lucky person in the regard that I don't have any 'real' (as in abuse, family problems, etc.) problems but still there is some pain that I can't explain. As the poem illustrates, I only take off my 'mask' at home, if that, and even though I know it can be a bad thing, I don't feel comfortable without it. Thank you for publishing this poem, it has made all the difference.

  • Sarah by Sarah
  • 10 years ago

I'm 13 and I feel the exact same way. The pain and the depression its hard to deal with. I've been through abuse and whole bunch of heck. And I always put a mask on every day. I seem so happy to people but I'm not that happy. At least I'm not the only one who feels the same. GREAT POEM!!

  • Eliana by Eliana, Massachusetts
  • 10 years ago

Wow! This poem is so amazing. Not only because it paints an accurate picture of depression but it uses *your* own voice to show how depression can affect someone so personally.

I started a website/blog for teens in order to raise awareness for depression and other mental illness. Do you mind if I share your poem (giving you credit of course)?

  • Brenna F by Brenna F, Earth
  • 10 years ago

This poem was really good and relatable. I'm 13 and very confused about who I am. Alone I'm an emotional wreck that writes songs and poems about my pain, but with friends I'm cheerful. I have a good family and stuff so I should be happy, right? I don't know which one is me, or if they are both me, or if one is fake then which one?

  • Natasha by Natasha, Reno
  • 10 years ago

I can relate to every single word of this poem. After getting help I still struggle here and there with depression and suicide thoughts but it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Not that it's a good thing, but to know that someone else feels the exact same way and doesn't treat me like some outsider or a freak helps in a way.

  • Surbhi Bulandshahr. by Surbhi Bulandshahr.
  • 11 years ago

I would like to relate my life to this poem. This the real story of my life and I have gone through the same feelings. Hope a day will come when the bright sun will wash away all the darkness of our lives.

  • Kylie by Kylie, Lost
  • 11 years ago

This poem truly put my emotions into words. I am 16 years old and have these same exact feelings every single day. The sense of community I feel between you, as well as the many other comments, are both hopeful and disconcerting. I LOVE the thought that I am not alone, despite my feelings everyday. However, it also reminds me how far all of these wonderful people are from me, and shows me the exact people I need in my life to turn it all around. Thank you for this and for showing me I am not crazy nor alone.

  • Michelle by Michelle, Winston Salem
  • 11 years ago

I pinned your poem under my Pinterest board entitled "Depression" I encourage the author to keep writing. As a former English teacher, I think this poem is phenomenal! It really explains what so many people who suffer from the invisible disease of depression go through. Thanks.

  • Ebbonny by Ebbonny, Atherton
  • 11 years ago

This poem is me all over and the sad thing is I'm 18 and I still feel the need to put on a brave face or a mask as it is described when ever I'm around people even if I know them really well. The society these days is full of judging and assuming and criticism and it sucks.

  • Katie by Katie, Mi
  • 11 years ago

I have actually called it my mask, and when I read this poem it felt so true, like every word I've tried to say was just explained.
This was amazing.<3

  • Tatyana Williams by Tatyana Williams
  • 11 years ago

I'm 13 and I feel the same way. I actually wear a mask everyday of my life. I cry myself to sleep some nights because of the emotional toll this is taking on me. My family is not a family, they talk about each other behind their backs. And I'm the scapegoat for their emotions. I shared my story with a select group of friends at my school and we figured out that we all had one thing in common bad family life. We confide in each other when things go bad, we prevent everyone from ending their life because of the emotional state we are all in, but we have been able to remain strong. I hide myself in poetry, singing, music, and story writing, so that I can stay sane. These friends are the only ones that can see thru my mask and they are my only true friends in this crazy world.

  • Mariel by Mariel, Oakland California
  • 12 years ago

My name is Mariel, I'm 14, I have cut before and I write poetry to get rid of my pain. I go to high school everyday and am forced to watch peoples happiness.

  • Tamara by Tamara
  • 12 years ago

I'm not myself
I'm not who you want me to be
I'm not who I want to be
I am who I am
I'm sad most of the time
I'm not suicidal
But I'm not breathing life
I smile to look happy
I'm such a good actor that no one notices
Sometimes I wish they could
I don't want attention but I want people to know I'm sad
I'm not one for crying
But lately its all I want to do
I go through the day in a haze talking to people as if I'm happy
I laugh at their jokes
When they ask me if I'm ok
I smile and say yes
Wishing I could say no
I'm Tamara.

  • Malluu by Malluu
  • 12 years ago

I am really touched by your poem and it has instantly become one of my favorites. I have never shared this with anyone before but I feel depressed everyday. I feel that no one loves me nor wants me including my parents. They hate everything I do or I want to do. I want to be somewhere where no one knows me and I can freely live through my life...because after all it is a test that everyone has to go through but at the same time it can be or it is certainly for me A-GREAT-PAIN. I don't necessarily think that I'm different from others but I do feel depressed mostly all the time. In school I have lots of friends but I have never dared to share it with anyone. This poem gave me confidence and a little bit of comfort. Thank you.

Thank you for this. This is exactly how I feel. I was always trying to put it in my own words, but you have done so better than I ever could. Once again, I thank you. People tell me that reading these will only make my depression worse, but the only time I feel even remotely better is when I find someone that feels the same. It tells me that at least I'm not the only one that has ever felt like this.

  • La'Kay by La'Kay
  • 12 years ago

-I Feel The SAME EXACT WAY! I've been trying soo hard to feel what I act and I feel nothing.! I feel so so so so sad inside but every one see's me as this happy go lucky girl who makes everyone laugh and smile and play around and talk and Inside my heart screams for help but my mouth just won't deliver my deadly silent whispers.

  • Hannah by Hannah
  • 12 years ago

I am so depressed. I can't sleep and I even when I try to sleep..,sometimes I have to cry myself to sleep. It's misery. If I would talk to my councilor my mom would be called and would question me. All I have to talk to is my diary, some friends, and basically myself. Its not helping and I am going insane. I almost fall asleep in class everyday. I have been having suicidal thoughts ever since my crush called me something I thought I would never be called again...,a stalker. It happened last year too with a boy that I really liked. He thought I was nuts and crap but I NEVER stopped talking about him. But this one is worse. First..,it was crying at school when I found out, then it wasn't getting much sleep..,now its suicidal thoughts and has ALMOST cut myself MANY times. I can't do this anymore. Any advice? Please? I need some.

  • Tanika by Tanika
  • 12 years ago

I really really need the name of the author/poet who wrote this. Wb asap
(it's for a poet speech) I found this really inspiring

  • Here by Here
  • 12 years ago

I'm 14 going through the same.. I think you're brave to do that everyday.. me I try.. I'm not brave..but you have opened my eyes..thank you. Remember, suicidal is the wimpy way to leave. Go the brave way. Leave with a fight..

  • Jj by Jj
  • 12 years ago

I had untreated depression since I was five. For 13 years I dealt with it before I slipped and lost control. I was checked into a psychiatric ward. Tiane sometimes that is for the best. Just to be able to get away for society to recharge your strength and to fight it. In the end death is just the easy way out of your problems. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  • Tiane by Tiane, Down Under
  • 12 years ago

Look I was diagnosed with this since I was little it runs in my family and I don't know how to deal it like one second I'm fine the next I feel as if I'm gonna explode.

  • Wendy by Wendy
  • 12 years ago

Wow, this poem is exactly how I have been feeling for a very long time! People see me and think, "She's so happy, always smiling, laughing and with no worries in the world, well they're wrong! Even when I'm extremely depressed and it shows, my friends ask and all I say is I'm just a little tired, I couldn't sleep last night, and they believe it. I have a mask, one that I wear everyday and not all see it, just a few friends that have gotten close enough to notice, but they don't notice it all of the time. Life does go on though, and one just has to fight to move on with it and just hope for the best and think optimistically (: Hope all of you that have this can find a way out of it and find happiness<3 I'm not there, but I hope I can be soon!

  • Kievonn by Kievonn, Toronto
  • 12 years ago

This perfectly describes me. I know no one wants to hear my life story, and I don't really feel like telling it, but yeah, this is pretty much my life. When I'm around people I'm all giggles and happiness, get home, go into the basement or in my room and I get really sad.

The suicide question has plagued my mind, but I don't really feel like killing myself. Maybe it's cowardice, but I won't do it. I am, however, not afraid of death.

  • Amieo by Amieo
  • 12 years ago

I'm the same everyday. I'm 14 And suffer Depression. But nobody known's because they will walk away from me, Even my best friends.
I always put on a mask, when I go to school around my friends.
anywhere. even in front of my mum.
I'm always the giggly one, the one that always smiles... but no.
That's not who I really am. -.-'

  • Emerald by Emerald, Indiana
  • 13 years ago

I put up a mask everyday and this is exactly how I feel. My friends even the best can't see through it because that's how I designed it.

  • Ashley by Ashley, Arizona
  • 13 years ago

Thank you so much for this poem. I have been depressed for a few years now and I have been afraid to tell anyone, even my closest friends for fear of them judging me when they don't know how it feels. My mask is similar to yours, I seems happy, full of energy but when the day is done, I find that I am the only one. I've been shut out by most and the others I try to keep close but it's hard to have the desire to keep my mask on anymore. Thank you though for letting me know that I'm not the only one.

  • Peyton by Peyton
  • 13 years ago

I feel the same way every single day. I feel I cant express myself around anybody. I act so differently when I'm with others its like I am a whole other person.

  • Kasi by Kasi Poet
  • 13 years ago

I was recently deleting my 5000 spam e-mails and archiving the important ones, when I came across this. I had forgotten I had written it, but let me tell you is it ever a blast from the past. For all the commenter's living with the same feeling I was, I would like to update you on my life. I talked to my parents shortly after publishing this. I went on anti depressants for the prescribed time, and then I was fine. Since then I've moved, been in and out of love, made a lot of new friends, moved out of my parents house, and am in university. Life goes on! And I just had to live it to really know that. Hang in there!

  • Jay by Jay, Florida
  • 13 years ago

omg I feel the same way... I secretly cry when no one is looking and I don't even know why. I mask myself on a daily bases and feel like the world would be a better place without.. I feel like I am just wasting peoples time to be living!!!

  • Kaitlin by Kaitlin
  • 13 years ago

I have a mask on everyday. lately, I have been forgetting to put it on......and friends do not understand me now that they can tell that I am upset, so they just turn the other way. It sucks....but I am not sure that the mask is any better.

  • Mandy Peoples by Mandy Peoples
  • 13 years ago

I'm 14 and dealing with depression. I was reading to see how other people deal, and I came upon this poem. It moved me to no end. This is a beautiful poem and you have inspired me to write how I feel. Thank you so much for the inspiration.

  • Amanda by Amanda, Michigan
  • 13 years ago

This is like the story of my life. I have tried many times to put it down on paper. Thank you for helping me find the words.

  • Courtney by Courtney, VA
  • 13 years ago

I'm a13 year old , dealing with depression. I have to do a project on poetry and this poem touched me. I was wondering if it is possible to get the full name of the author, thank you. this is beautiful.

  • Sydney by Sydney, Florida
  • 13 years ago

Great poem. Exactly how I was this summer. Then I threw myself into sports and school and now I'm too busy to be sad anymore (: haha keep your head up and keep looking for the cliché "light at the end of the tunnel." <3

  • Jordan Kline by Jordan Kline
  • 13 years ago

This is exactly the way I feel. I'm 13 years old and I feel like I have to wear a mask when I'm around people but when I get alone I cry and write poetry that my friends read in school and they wonder how I can act so okay when I'm in public. I wonder the same thing. I've grown so accustomed to acting okay it's weird. I pray everyday that one day things will be okay and hopefully they will be, not only for me but for everyone that feels the same depression we feel.

  • Sasha by Sasha, No-Where
  • 13 years ago

I really liked this. I wish I could write poems like this. Recently my mask came off, only with a certain person. But it helps so much :)

  • Crystalmoon X by Crystalmoon X
  • 13 years ago

This poem really touched me because I know what it feels like. Acting all happy in front of everyone when really inside you feel so lost, then when you get home you just flinging yourself onto your bed and crying. That's how I've been feeling for a while and I've been surprised at how many people feel the same.

  • Brooklyn by Brooklyn, Kentucky
  • 13 years ago

I'm 13 and I have felt this way like no one understands you at all I thought. I was the only one who ever felt this way.

  • Keegan Shive by Keegan Shive, Louisville Kentucky
  • 13 years ago

I used to think like this too and then I had an epiphany. Maybe I'm just having too much fun during the day to care about the things that I'd lose sleep over if I was alone to dwell on them.

  • Stephanie Hart by Stephanie Hart
  • 13 years ago

This is exactly how I feel! I never knew people feel the same way I thought I was alone. This poem gave me hope :)

  • Alex Bashore by Alex Bashore
  • 13 years ago

I know how you feel I'm going through the same thing right now loved your poem great message.

  • Amber Lenz by Amber Lenz, Centreville Alabama
  • 14 years ago

I felt the same way when I was about 13 years old and I was wondering if anyone had felt the same. Now I have found out that life is okay it does not matter if I'm not okay... I mean it does, but I'm over the whole killing myself because I don't have what I want or when I want, but I totally understand. I am 16 years old and life is rough but I will live through it.
Life is like a roller coaster it has its ups and its downs you just have to go with the flow and hope and pray things get better

  • Akufesia by Akufesia
  • 14 years ago

Emotionally, sympathetic. I have once felt so but later recieved psychological attention.

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