Feelings Poem by Teens

Struggling With Autistic Burnout

I am 16 years old and recently diagnosed as autistic. I didn't realise when I had to leave school without being able to take my GCSEs that I was in autistic burnout. I was in a very dark place, and I wrote this poem to help process how I'd changed from early childhood to now.

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A Long Drive

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Published by Family Friend Poems December 1, 2023 with permission of the Author.

At the start of the drive all the places seemed new
I roll down the window and I bask in the view
The breeze is so gentle
The temperature just right
The sun warms my face and the road ahead is bright

But as the light disappears and I'm plunged into night
My journey is clouded by darkness and fright
The stars are not twinkling
The moon just looks grey
All my innocence and fun is slowly slipping away

Where is the sun that woke me up every day?
Where are the places that I used to play?
Where am I now?
Am I all on my own?
Could the darkness have taken me away from my home?

I'm still driving in hope of finding tomorrow
But how can I go on with a heart full of sorrow?
This nighttime seems endless
I just want to crash
But my past and future would be thrown in the trash

I have to keep trying to find my way back
I know it's my energy and soul that I lack
I'm broken and tired
Please, where is the end?
There's only more darkness around every bend

Just as I'm about to act like a fool
I realize I'm not alone after all
My Mum and my Dad
My sister too
They're all in here with me, now what do I do?

The people I love are hurt because of me
I was caught up in misery and I couldn't see
Am I a monster?
I do feel like one
The things that I've said cannot be undone

I push down on the brakes and let myself cry
I just need a way out, I don't want to die
My family hug me
They tell me it's ok
They tell me 'together, we'll find a new day'

My Dad takes the wheel, my Mum hugs me tight
My sister forgives me and lets go of the fight
Two stars twinkle,
Then three and then four
And I know that the night can't hurt me anymore.

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