My Best-Worst Friend...The Razor Blade

• by Lilly
• 10 years ago

Well, I'm afraid that's the truth about your poem. You reveal on poetical way my thoughts and feelings. I would like to write poems but I don't have talent. I sometimes carve my skin too because I have stress at home and at school. My therapist gave me recently some chilli-bonbons. And there was something I would never expect: they helped against the pressure inside of me. But I hope, my mum won't find out why do I need them. Well, she knows that I've already harmed myself but she thinks that it was 2 or 3 times. I don't know how but she found my blades and shards. She knew already what's wrong because my begetter did always the same as he was drunk. And that was the reason why they're divorced. Few months I could pretend that I'm okay because I usually don't cut my wrists or arms. I don't wanna commit suicide by this way but I can't help it. And if someone wants to try it out: Please put the blade away. NOW! In March I'll turn 18 and I started with cutting as recently as this year but I'm addicted to the blade.
P.S. Sorry for my bad English. It's not my native tongue and I have never been living in an English-speaking country xD.

• by Kyndra, Minnesota
• 10 years ago

I started cutting at the age of 11 or so. At School, I was hated, left, alone, forgotten, or just the opposite, being laughed at by the entire school. I was the school "slut" even though I was and still am a virgin. All these guys would message me or text me telling me I'm beautiful or sweet or anything just to get me to talk to them, then they would ask for pictures or to hang out and wear something tight but easy to take off. After I would tell them off, and tell them I wasn't like that, they stopped talking to me then told the whole school I slept with them and call me a bitch. I hated myself, I started to believe I was a school "slut" but my family told me it wasn't true, they would always tell me I'm still a virgin. If I would date someone they would be nice and sweet for the first part then I would realize they got really sexual really fast, then they would want sex. I hated myself, so so much! I cut and cut and cut and cut. I always wore Band-Aids all over my wrists and up my arms. I Now have 167 cuts and counting... Everyone told me to stop, told me to get help. But I'm insane, Crazy, Bipolar, Emo, Unstable, Depressed, Worried, And Scary. If I met me I would try and stay away, that's why I have no friends. But my scars, are something that give me MANY memories! Byee...

• by Skyler, Lincoln
• 10 years ago

I used to cut and I STILL cut because I'm constantly bullied every day about almost everything about me. It's real hard to stop, so if you want to cut, or already have just started, I recommend that you get help or stop right away. It's not worth it.

• by Fang
• 10 years ago

I self harm, think about suicide, and wish for it to stop. I'm bullied, and left out. I fell alone, in my world of despair. I feel hatred, disgust, and anger towards myself as I cut into my stomach. I tell myself lies, I believe that I'm a worthless good for nothing waste of space. I want what seems like what I can't have. I wish I could stop, but I'm drawn to the pain and pleasure I get. My blades and my knife comfort me when I'm in fright. When I'm feeling that of which I don't know I run for my room, in search of my blade. I've tried to stop, but it keeps calling my name, begging for me to cut myself once more. And I always give in.

• by Kiera McGuirk, London
• 10 years ago

I am a serious self harmer. I have been cutting since the age of 10. It started when I was in my last year of primary school, I remember taking a pair of scissors and cutting down the top of my arm, and it made me feel amazing. It was never a regular thing at that age, but whenever I got very distressed I would scratch at my ankles until they bled, or bite my knee caps. About a year and a half later, it started getting a lot worse. I was using knives instead of scissors and doing it a lot more frequently, about every 2-3 weeks, I never touched my arms, it was always somewhere on my legs.
I managed to stop for a long time. Just over a year and half, but then one night I was laying in bed and couldn't sleep, me and my boyfriend at the time had a big fight a few hours before and being a vulnerable teenager I was in pieces. And I had a huge urge to cut, so I went to the kitchen and got a knife and began cutting at my thighs. And that was it, I'd fallen back into the darkness.
Me and my boyfriend then broke up and I was a wreck. I felt like I had nothing left, so the cutting got worse and worse. I stopped taking the knives from the kitchen and started unscrewing all the blades out of my pencil sharpeners. But at this point it was still only a couple of cuts here and there, barely even deep enough to draw blood. But they started getting deeper, more frequent and way more noticeable. They were everywhere, from my ankles to my wrists and everywhere in between. And that was it, my blades were my only friends, they were all I had. The pain was such relief and I loved my cuts.
But now here I am today. A horrible scarred 17 year old and I couldn't hate it more. I still cut very often, but it's because it's all I know now. I'm an addict. But I see my scars and I am ashamed. I cannot leave the house with my arms of legs on display, because they are horrible to look at, and they will never go away.
If you are thinking of self harming, or have only just started, please get out while you can, or else you will be stuck in a life of self hatred and shame.
I hope my story helped, you are not alone in this world, even though at times it feels like you are. xxx

• by Valen Cornwell
• 11 years ago

I was once like this I cut myself a lot in the past. I still do sometimes. I hope life gets better cause it sucks.

• by Catlion, Indiana
• 11 years ago

I self-harm, and that poem describes my life almost perfectly. I always have my razor with me, hidden in the back of my phone case. I'm losing my friends because of it. I want to stop, but it's hard. I just want to be a normal teenager.

• by Sophie
• 11 years ago

I caught my best friend cutting in the school toilets one day and I ripped the razor out of her hand and slapped her. she cried and I took her to her form teacher. She is constantly monitored now in the toilets and she doesn't now. Once I explained the pain wasn't worth it and how everyone else would feel if she went too far she vowed on her fathers grave that she would never cut again.

• by Rachael, London Uk
• 11 years ago

I'm a self harmer I've just been took off section that's exactly my life and my world in that poem I completely relate to the poem. I just want to be a normal teenager and turn things around. Is that to much to ask???

• by Cortny
• 11 years ago

I am a cutter. a pill popper. a drinker. a smoker. depressed. bipolar. I wish I knew how to turn my life around:/

• by Cowgirl Up, Edna
• 11 years ago

I used to keep a pair of scissors in my purse............I thought I was gonna kill myself I hated life and I hated everything and I thought there was no getting away from the pain and anger but eventually I turned my life around and now I'm about to graduate and go to college and I'm so happy because I get to help people and share my stories with them and let them know they're not alone