Lost Friend Poem

Guilt Over Friend's Death

I felt like it was my fault when my best friend committed suicide after quitting drugs because I accidentally overdosed...

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I went behind my best friend's back and talked to his crush. He was mad. I hated myself and I cried. He said stop crying. I'm just upset. He said let's not talk for a few days. I miss him...

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I Didn't Want You To Die

©

Published: June 2008

I miss you man; won't you please come back
'Cause you were loved; didn't you know that?
You saved my life; I could talk to you.
I would have saved yours if only I knew.

Was it my fault that you ended your life?
Did I hand you the rope? Did I sharpen the knife?
I can't help but think that the night I OD'd
Was the moment that Death came and planted the seed.

The reruns come often: you sitting so still,
The sounds and the smell and the bone crushing chill,
The note on the table, your hand on the ground...
They haunt all my nightmares yet save me somehow.

So this I am writing to lessen the pain,
And maybe just somehow you'll hear me again.
And if on occasion you notice I cry,
You'll understand I didn't want you to die.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Jasmine Oatis by Jasmine Oatis
  • 1 year ago

I went behind my best friend's back and talked to his crush. He was mad. I hated myself and I cried. He said stop crying. I'm just upset. He said let's not talk for a few days. I miss him already, but he is my crush.

  • Edmund Brownly by Edmund Brownly, Liverpool
  • 5 years ago

Niana is right guys. Your live is short and it depends on how you live it and you need to live in the now and not think of the past yeah remember your friends but in the good not the bad, think of your future and the good memories. You have be happy and live long.

  • Niana Business by Niana Business
  • 6 years ago

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, but don't beat yourself up about it. I'm a big fan of Eminem and in one of his songs he says "instead of mourning your death, I'd rather celebrate your life" think like that! I, as a stranger, am not exactly sure what happened, but you have to learn to accept things for what they are and move on, learning from your mistakes. this was truly an amazing poem and I'm so glad you wrote it. keep writing!

  • Mary Boonville by Mary Boonville
  • 7 years ago

I had a friend her name is Sabrina she was always thinking suicidal thoughts but I always told her you're just thinking it, so the next day I called her and her grandma was crying and I ask her what is wrong and can I talk to Sabrina she said she made suicide and now I always ask myself did I give her the rope and did I give her the knife? :(

  • Elizabeth by Elizabeth
  • 8 years ago

My best friend Abby recently hung herself. I knew she was being abused and having suicidal thoughts. "Did I hand her the rope, or sharpen her knife..?" I miss you so much Abby, I wish you could see. I LOVE YOU <3

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