Honey, You Can Have Him!

• by Michelle Marshall
• 5 years ago

My now ex-husband dropped a bomb on me back the end of October. He wanted a divorce and was in love with the woman who took care of his son while I worked, and he wanted to marry her. He claims we didn't talk. All I ever heard him talk about was how he wanted to have sex with a random woman to "put spice back into our love lives." Of COURSE I'm not going to want to talk about that! Anytime I would ask him how his day was, how he was feeling, etc., I would just hear, "Honey grab me something to drink and I'll leave you alone." Requests for him to go to a doctor were brushed off as me nagging him. He had planned on leaving me five miles outside of town in the home we shared, no driver's license, no car, and no way to pay the bills on what I was making. If it hadn't been for his new woman, I would've literally been homeless for over a month. My divorce was finalized on Valentine's Day (IRONY!!) and since October, I've dropped roughly 30 lb and two pants sizes. No more stress, good bye weight!

• by Gainesville_VA_HeCheatedAgain
• 6 years ago

He cheated again after got caught cheating with a close family member years ago. He has cheated and I've been oblivious. I stay because our lifestyle is comfortable and because I was married with one boy to a previous husband. This is my second marriage and his second marriage. He has two girls from a previous marriage. He married me because he needed a baby sitter and a maid. I am a baby sitter so he an have his career. I have no higher education. He has higher education and works as a manager with a military background. I kept taking him back and turned a blind eyes because of the benefits and he is a white man. I'm old and not attractive and my chance of having a better partner out there who will want me is very unlikely, so I stay. I know in my heart he will cheat again and will lie again into some unsuspecting women's pants. He is not an honorable man with lack of integrity for sure, although we are both church goers and believe in Jesus. We stay because of our long history together and material comfort.

• by Fran
• 6 years ago

Sad story, but don't blame on other women. First of all, if man cheats on you it's his choice. It's his choice to betray you. Some women don't even know that man has a girlfriend or is married. If not this particular woman, it would be another one. Maybe he cheated before but you don't know. I had a man who cheated on me. Women didn't know about me. He told everybody he was single. I wish you happiness.

• by Joy
• 7 years ago

I just wanted to believe that he would never do it again. He did and every time he left, it was without warning. I never want to feel that feeling of wondering when or if he'll leave when I walk out the door to go to work.

• by CP
• 7 years ago

I love this poem! Thank you for it! My ex thought is was ok to APPEAR to be a nice, decent, CHRISTIAN man. But it was all lies and smokescreens. He led a double life, pathologically lying, stealing from others, including chasing after single, widowed, taken, and desperate women. He had the whole church congregation fooled. Of course all us women are CRAZY is what he would say. We imagine things. Ya right, he had other cell phones, multiple e-mail accounts, and his traveling out of state for concerts with the choir was all a joke. He even lied to the church pastor and was also seeing two different women from church and one woman from work. A real piece of work. Then he would play the poor innocent victim that grew up in an abusive home and dysfunctional lifestyle. Haven't we all had some form of dysfunction in our lives? But you don't see all of us lying constantly or using others for ill gain. Bottom line is he will not change and I'm glad to be done with it! Thanks again!

• by Omar, Dubai
• 8 years ago

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devastated when Frank left me. It was like all my world vanishing into sorrow and pain. But your kind words when I first emailed you gave me

hope. I felt how sincere, honest and authentic he were from his first email. I know it sounds weird but out of all the casters I contacted, he

were the only one to give me that impression of being so true and caring. More than your words, it s the fantastic work you accomplished for me

that I will keep in mind. He brought my lover back and he made all my wishes come true. He s now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me

flowers every Sunday, and we often go out at the cinema or at the restaurant. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to

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• by Christine Bordeaux , Chattanooga
• 8 years ago

Why is this all directed at "the other woman?" I have been cheated on and never got angry at the woman just at the man that did the cheating. He is the one that is supposed to be loyal, not her. He is the one that is supposed to love you, not her. It's easy to be angry at the woman who "took your man" but if he was so easily distracted it eventually would have been someone. I have had friends be lead into relationships with married men because of sob stories about their loveless marriages and mean wives. They aren't home wreaking sluts. Just another woman getting lied to.
Let's not attack the woman who "stole" your husband but the husband that left you.

• by Elaine, USA
• 10 years ago

My abusive husband of 38 years left me because he needed his "space." His "space" was a new condo with select furnishings, etc. His "space" included trips with another woman he had been seeing for a few years behind my back. This was not his first rodeo.
This, though he is a deacon in our church and is there whenever the doors open. The church I joined trying to raise our children. All adulterers will be judged by God. That is in the word. I was a Godly wife who was devastated by his and her deceit. He is a weakling and will pay for it. I will survive because God has me covered. I can't concern myself about them, but I know God is just and will take care of them and me. I have asked for a truly Godly man that I am attracted to. My husband was abusive, both physically and emotionally. God's got it. Thank you.

• by Aj, India
• 10 years ago

I am going through the same and know how it feels. My life shattered when my husband of 3 years told me that we are not compatible and we should separate. We lived together for some time after that but mostly fighting. He picked up fights with me and here we have a culture of joint family. I confessed my worries to my sister in laws and mother in law and on my face they said all crap that they love me and will never accept any other girl in their family and told me to go and visit my parents and in the meantime they will talk to my husband. I came to my parents house. 2 days went by no one called so I kept calling and they reassured me that they are trying to talk with my husband and I should have patience. I did and then after 3 months my father in law said they are not bothered and whatever my husband wants will happen. Actually they all conspired against me coz all wanted me out of the house and are supporting my husband and his mistress. I feel so deceived...

• by Terri, Middlesbrough Uk
• 10 years ago

Came across this today. I wish I had seen it earlier as it ironically lifts you up. 3 years ago on Christmas eve I asked my husband what was the matter? To be told that he didn't love me and was leaving me for another woman. We had what I thought was a happy marriage of 38 years. We had the ups and downs of any normal marriage. What I couldn't understand was ok we didn't make love every day/week but the previous week he had instigated love making with me and volunteered how much he loved me. I watched my 28 year old sons crying on Christmas day as he had no answers for them or me. He in effect dropped the bomb then "closed down"
Here I am 3 years later. We have in that time had 2 weddings and 3 births of grandchildren. HE VISITS THEM
He is living in her new house "paying her lodge money" according to what is written on the divorce papers. Previous to that he spent 2 years living in rented accommodation and costing over £22K while she lived in a 5 bedroom house she previously shared with her husband. Oh he didn't move in with her because she didn't want to start a relationship with him in a house previously shared with her ex husband???? Didn't mind doing the deed with him there did she??
Oh and did I mention her husband cheated on her twice with her best friend so she knew exactly how I felt.
In the times that his path has crossed mine he who apparently "Is ecstatic with his life" has aged considerably and never has a smile on his face.

I've just come out the other side of this traumatic experience. this is the first time I've written this online. So this poem it just hits the spot.

Thank you so much.

• by Sue. England
• 10 years ago

My story is very similar, we had our problems which I thought we had overcome. But 5 years on he cheated with a friend of mine (who I also work with) I had to move jobs, have 3 devastated children and he still lives at home. Problem is I love him he doesn't love me in any shape or form. I am blamed for the break up of his affair, although I think he is seeing someone else. He's always going out, doesn't tell me where he's going. This has been going on for 19 months now and I am making no headway. I am rebuffed at every turn. He talks of divorce, I've even had petition papers served on him, but we are still here. Don't get me wrong I would jump at the chance to have him back, its just he doesn't want me!!

• by Ya, USA
• 10 years ago

What an awesome poem and how true it is! I went through a rather terrible time when my (now) ex-husband cheated on me and ended up getting the girl pregnant. She knew we were married and had a child together but she said she didn't care because she knew she could make him happy and he wasn't in love with me anymore, so, I let him go. Now fast forward to 4 years later, I am happily remarried to the most amazing man on the planet and she is crying to me that he keeps cheating on her.

• by Joan, Seattle WA
• 10 years ago

This poem was obviously written by a very bitter and angry woman. My husband was previously married for 25 years. Yes, he immediately divorced her to marry me just a short time after we met. Every day he tells me how wonderful he feels being married to me and how deeply he loves me. We have had an incredible life together for 8 years and his adult children really like me too. The ex-wife? She is still filled with piss and vinegar and refuses to move forward, very few people want anything to do with her anymore. The main point is that very often divorced men are often happier with a new spouse, many times it was the first wife that was the problem all along !!!

• by Nikita
• 10 years ago

Hello. I have been the other woman and all you wives out there...one request...I am also a woman. I also had a failed marriage before I met a husband. Why are you blaming me? What did I do so wrong when a husband came to me and told me he loved me. What did I do so wrong when I tried my best not to but (damn it) fell in love with him? What did I do so wrong when you never even came to know I existed as the other woman, watching you guys hold hands, kiss, try and look happy.....what did I do so wrong that your husband left you because he wanted to? Not because of me? Why why blame me for everything? I am also a woman just like you....I am also as vulnerable and madly in love with him. Maybe just like you?

• by Rosa Escarrega
• 11 years ago

I agree with Carla. You can't judge right off the bat because every situation is different and there are ALWAYS two sides to every story. Sometimes the "devoted" wives cheat or lie and then want to cry when they get left for another woman! My husband was legally married but separated when we started dating because his former wife had cheated on him while he was deployed in Iraq, I got called every name in the book for talking to him while he was going through his divorce. But the fact that she cheated on him was always ignored. We have now been married for almost 3 years and have 2 children.

• by Kd, Durban
• 11 years ago

This poem makes me very worried it's exactly what is happening to me and my boyfriend. He was married when I "Stole" him and we got along just fine until he left his wife for me. But now he is cheating with different women. His ex wife warned me after he found out... But I was still blinded by love. I'm still with him because I'm trying to prove to his ex wife that I can do better. Me and ex wife are chatting and I'm pretending things are fine in my relationship.

• by Sister Lydia
• 11 years ago

This is the whole of the matter: a man who has no respect for God and for the covenant he made before Him is a dangerous demon. Do not grieve for him. Be glad he abandoned you before he gave you some dreadful disease.

What goes around comes to astound. There are a lot of men who do this and wind up vagrants. The 'other' women get rid of them at the drop of the hat. They never stick around to put up with the nonsense the real wives endured. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

As for the marital vultures, those skunks have their reward in Hell. Be strong, lady. Be strong!

• by Carla, Australia
• 11 years ago

Well I stole my partner ( if you want to call it that ) but I have never been happier his ex and I speak and get along fine sometimes life works out for the better.
Each story is different so don't judge on the cover.

• by Sheila, Virginia
• 11 years ago

Thank you so much for having the courage to share your feelings. Your poem has really helped me in this nightmare. My husband of 26 years had a mid-life crisis and decided he didn't want to be married anymore. He started an affair with this woman, and eventually moved in with her. Unfortunately, I lost both my dignity and pride as I struggled with my grief and tried to salvage our marriage. I learned the hard way that it takes two to make a marriage, no matter how hard I tried. What I cannot understand is how this "nice lady" could knowingly take up with a married man and thus help destroy a marriage. She had previously lost her husband to cancer, and apparently it was a tragedy at the time. So how could she do this to someone else's wife?

• by Trisha, Oklahoma
• 11 years ago

I love this! It hit home. My husband of 2 years was cheating on me and the girl he was cheating on me with knew about me and our son, but she still chose to mess with him. I got fed up with it and besides that he was abusive in every way he could be. Now I'm going through a divorce. I told her if he did it to his wife what makes her think he wouldn't do it too some sideline hoe.

• by Isharon, New Jersey
• 11 years ago

This poem hits on every thing that I'm feeling. I have been married for 28 years with two beautiful girls 14 and 18 and my husband and I have been going through a lot of problems with our business and he choose to look up a high school girlfriend and had an affair with her. She never married or had any children he moved out for 3 months then came back but the women still continues to contact him. I guess she thinks this is her last chance with a man and choose to continue. Apparently she or he are not thinking about my children on me but only of themselves.

• by Rach, Kentucky
• 11 years ago

I just found out one month ago my husband was cheating on me. We have been together for 17 yrs married for 2. We have 2 children. At first he said it was nothing and over but I checked the phone log and he wouldn't stop texting her. I moved out and when I did he moved in with her. I read on his phone where he says he loves her and more. He sees me and says he loves me and he says I am so beautiful and tries to touch me but I will not let him. I am so lost right now b/c he is all I know since I was 17. Last night I found out that instead of taking our kids to cub scouts he took them to her house to eat supper....ouch and so wrong! I love him so much but I know it has to be over! I was willing at first to forgive but more bad things keep happening that I find it harder and harder to forgive. What to do!

• by Jay, Tx
• 11 years ago

I was with my husband for 5 years, we have 4 kids together. He left me for his co-worker. At the time I was completely shattered. It was Poems like this one that made me stronger. I'll never forget what my sister told me today was his day tomorrow and tomorrow will be mine...ohh, And believe me it was after he saw that I was over him..long story short He came running back..my point is to the women who are going through this it's not the end. Always remember Today is their day Tomorrow will be yours!!

• by Melissa, Ca
• 11 years ago

Wow!! I wish I would've seen this poem when I found out my now ex husband cheated and left me for another bimbo!!! I could really relate to everything it said and it's sooooo true!!! I really loved him and he broke my heart.....the pain was so unbearable for me to bear, but I think my son endured more of it because his dad left us and has no contact with him whatsoever....Time heals all wounds which is a day by day experience but I got over it. People that do bad things like this eventually get what they've got coming to them and it's called KARMA!!

• by Samantha, Cayman Islands
• 12 years ago

Tears felt my eyes as I read this poem for I know of some of my friends and family members going through this very problem and I'm gonna share it with them.

• by Jillian, AZ
• 12 years ago

This hits home, I went thru an devastating separation, after a 15 yr relationship & 2 children, 3 other women and a child, I realized that I was in an abuse and hopeless relationship, she (the other woman) didn't realize his past and the torment that I had to endure and now is faced with the same BS I went through. As of now I am engaged to a wonderful man, my children have never been happier and he and his new girlfriend are as miserable as can be, might I mention that he does communicate once in a while that the grass was not greener on the other side and he misses his family! Oh well, the grass is much greener for me and my children! Sorry!

• by Angie, VA
• 12 years ago

I love this poem. It fits right into my problem. My husband of 3 years together for 10, has been cheating on me for almost a year. Why because she was a listening ear to when I complained. If she was in my shoes, she would've too !!! But love hurts and make you do crazy things. I just pray to God to get me the strength to get through this !

• by Priscilla, Florida
• 12 years ago

My husband and I had some issues and left me before his deployment to Iraq, leaving me and our 4 month old daughter at the time. While in Iraq he met someone else, when he returned he wanted to make things between us but this other woman was always getting in the way until she became pregnant with their son. We started the divorce process and he stopped the process and realized it wasn't what he wanted, I chose to give him that second chance. We moved in together with our daughter who is now 3, but unfortunately I am facing a divorce a second time because this other woman didn't know how to respect my marriage after telling her many times I did not plan on leaving my husband. I blame them both. This poem has inspired me and made me a little more stronger.

• by Jessica Jacobs-Jenkins
• 12 years ago

This is a poem I wrote back in 2008. I am glad and thank everyone who likes it and votes for it. I also want to say thanks for the women who have said it helped them too.

I just wanted to update everyone who has read this: I am now re-married and life does go on. Ironically, the woman whom I wrote this poem about is now living with him and my son stays there part time. Lovely isn't it? : )

• by Raquel, Texas
• 13 years ago

My husband of 10 yrs fell into the arms of another woman, forgot all about our 2 yr old son...this poem hit home & after reading it...I was a little more stronger :) thanks

• by Shanna, Owenton KY
• 13 years ago

My high school sweetheart and husband of 5 years left me when I was 5 months prego for my best friend... this poem is exact and lifted my spirits! Thanks.