I Miss My Daughter

I'm 19 now, I was 16 when I had a little girl. I hurt everyday knowing she's out there, and there's nothing I can do but be miserable. If only I would of stayed away from the drugs and the wrong people, I would have my baby. I desperately ask young mothers to change, because I wish I could. I'm still fighting, but if you stay away you'll never have to experience this magnitude of pain.

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It's 12:35am when I'm reading this. Your poem made me bawl my eyes out. I'm 20 years old and have a little girl. I've been using cocaine for almost 3 years now and am currently not with my...

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True Story

Published by Family Friend Poems July 2011 with permission of the author.

I say to remain strong,
Yet I appear to be weak
I say always try to win,
But I welcome defeat
I say pray,
But never drop to my knees
I say talk to someone,
It stays bottled inside me
I chose to get high,
And then came a child
I never slowed down,
I still remain wild
I stay less than a mile,
From my own three year old
My eyes are watering,
And my heart is cold
I miss my daughter,
She'll soon be old
Now with no money or job,
I'm on the corner again
Only one man sticks by me,
And he is more than a friend
I struggle with this addiction,
Hoping one day it will end
I haven't touched base in 2 years,
And I'm still fighting my friend
In this game of drugs,
You're bound to loose
I've made decisions,
That were not cool
I hope someone takes heat,
To this poem
If you've got the habit,
Kick it that shows 'em
My own child doesn't even know me,
And I had her when I was 16
Now I'm 19 with nothing in sight,
But waking up crying all times of night
The pain is deep I've hurt everyday,
Now I hurt even more
As my arm is numb and I fall to the floor
I've beat one addiction,
Now I'm on another
With no sense at all,
Not even enough to be a mother
This needle penetrates,
What am I doing?
Nothing with my life,
I need to stop this abusement.

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by Sabrina Smith
5 years ago

It's 12:35am when I'm reading this. Your poem made me bawl my eyes out. I'm 20 years old and have a little girl. I've been using cocaine for almost 3 years now and am currently not with my daughter. I'm not going to skip out on her life even though I feel like I might. My life when I was growing up was horrible. No mom, no dad around. All the people in my family are basically drug addicts. I also just came to know that I have Bipolar Depression. Your poem put some light on the reality of what I'm doing...in a good way. I hope you get clean one day to see your daughter. Even if you're in no shape to care for her, it doesn't mean you can't be her angel from a distance. Everything in this world is a battle in and out, but I believe we have the ability to change that no matter what.

by Kmarie
9 years ago

I do smoke weed and cigs, it sucks I wish I never started I'm still in school I'm only 14 years old, I can remember some stuff but not enough, I cry, I get mad, I zap out when I'm not high. My tolerance for marijuana is so high it's not even funny. I wish I never smoked I could be a very smart person now but I went with my friends and what a surprise I tried it 1 time I liked it , but I'm killing my brain. Please If you read this don't start smoking, especially at a young age. I would like to help trust me it sucks and is bad, you always are gonna cough up phlegm, everyday, you don't want that so don't start I regret smoking my first time ,
~KMarie,

by Katherine, Oklahoma
11 years ago

Incredible...I lost my mother or I suppose I should say she lost me to addiction. She walked out on me as a kid, decided the speed meant more. She started using at the age I am now and only a few months ago I picked up the pipe myself. not knowing I was pregnant, I miscarried because of it and it was the end of my addiction right there. I couldn't stand that I realized it made me even worse than my mother, I killed my unborn child, how could I ? So I'm done and I hope other people can end their addiction too cause nothing matters more than our kids.

by Tracy
11 years ago

Wow, I too lost two children to addiction....they were adopted in 2008. I actually got clean before I found out for sure they had been adopted.....with the exception of one relapse I have been clean for going on five years. I give God all the glory on that one. I have actually gotten tired and just can never see myself going back. I went to the memorial service of a dear friends daughter today...she died of an overdose at the age of 20.....it could have been me. God bless you and stay strong in Him!