Emo Poem

Addiction To Cutting

This poem is about me cutting myself and how I feel.

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I started cutting when I was 11. Now I'm 14 and can't control myself from not cutting. My friends hated when I cut, and I even promised them I won't, but I can't control it. They won't...

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Addiction

©

Published: July 2011

I felt to pain everyday,
Seeing the scars on my wrist.
No one understands me,
My life is at risk.
Waiting everyday for the worst,
With a razor blade in my hand.
Getting ready to cut my wrist,
I can't wait until my life ends.
At school I hang my head low,
Always feeling ashamed.
Always making actions of slicing their wrist,
The only reason is,
The cuts and scars on My wrist.
Wanting my life to end every night.
People don't understand depression,
Thinking only Mental people have it.
But no one knows how it feels,
until I explain,
The life I live is real.
Teachers and parents walk by,
Seeing the scars on my wrists.
Never knowing,
I'm waiting for the day I die.

more by Chloe Marling

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  • Stories 16
  • Shares 75
  • Favorited 8
  • Votes 314
  • Rating 4.43
Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Aruna Rajan by Aruna Rajan
  • 2 years ago

I started cutting when I was 11. Now I'm 14 and can't control myself from not cutting. My friends hated when I cut, and I even promised them I won't, but I can't control it. They won't understand my feelings. I hate it. I don't want to, but I can't stop.

  • Brittney by Brittney
  • 5 years ago

Hello every one my name is Brittney and I started cutting myself when I was ten. I am 16 now and my family, mostly my sister believes I cut myself for nothing but she does not know my story. I told my mom but I did not tell her everything. I know we all don't have the same story but we all cut ourselves or might have stopped a month ago but I know I will start again because my past just wont stay the past and maybe that's because I hang on it.

  • Christina by Christina
  • 5 years ago

No one really knows the pain you feel they say they do but it's probably a lie. I've struggled with depression since 6th grade the middle of the year that's when I first picked up the blade and sliced into my skin, people looked at me and the cuts on my wrists like I was insane. What reason could I possibly have to do that? No one really knew they were the reason I did that. The laughing, the beatings, not being able to sleep at night thinking my brother would walk in and start touching me again, the depression, was so much and I was so young. Everytime I got I would pick it up and use it, there was no escape from it. I lost it after each cut felt such relief from reality and my mind. Every day was a battle I had to face within myself cause no one else cares they just looked at me like I belonged in the asylum even though under my clothes were the bruises I hid so I didn't have to move houses again because I was a foster child and being in the system was hell in it self. But, then at age 10 they found out I had gotten beat and took me to another home once again and the parents were nice enough to take me to see my real mom but she was in jail and when I saw her she told me I was worthless and never was suppose to be here. I was suppose to be an abortion, that was it I had, had enough. I did one last deep cut and downed pills I was sent to the hospital and saved, then after I woke up they sent me to the asylum. I was admitted for 4 months it was better there no care, all by myself, that's what I thought the last couple months I started to get lost in my mind. I wanted that blade again it was all I could think about. So the first thing I did when I got back home was found a blade and started cutting it was an addiction and escape from my head as the blood dripped down I would just smile in content this addiction has gone on for 6 years ....

  • Rachel by Rachel
  • 3 years ago

I struggle with anxiety and it has gotten worse after my siblings death. The pain from that plus bullying, other deaths, non supportive friends and harsh parents, I finally picked up a blade. They make them so easy to get I just took the blade out of a pencil sharpener. The first cut felt so good I don't know why though. I have 14 cuts right know from 3 days. It gets addicting and the worst part is I'm only ten. Don't start cause you can't stop.

  • Jasmine by Jasmine, MT
  • 6 years ago

My story, well I'm an emo and I only have one person who feels the way I feel in my life and that's because he is going through the same stuff kind of. I have a best friend who is "there" for me or tries to be there but I wish she was there when I cried myself to sleep and just want the pain to go away. I felt no one knows how I feel until this poem and all the stories on here. I found out I'm not alone and you make may think you are but really you're not...

  • Hannah:Campo by Hannah:Campo
  • 6 years ago

That is true because no one understands me. I may hurt when I do it but I like the pain. I wish I can get help but the other side of me says no don't get help. I to went through a very painful life because I was in foster homes and no one really likes me so I started cutting myself because I wanted to die.

  • Jazz The Lonely Heart by Jazz The Lonely Heart, AZ
  • 6 years ago

Well my story is... when I was seven my mom died and my dad started drinking. My aunt who took care of me died when I was eight. My dad was constantly yelling at me. I didn't do anything wrong but I started believing it was my fault. My "friends" started calling me "emo" and my best friend left me last year for an old friend. I'm alone now. Last year when my best friend left I started cutting myself. I liked the adrenaline rush as I watched my wrist bleed. Now I'm stopping because my dad stopped drinking and he's the only person I have left and I'm making more friends. I'm not alone now and I don't ever want to feel that way again. It might come back now because of the people around me...

  • Mirthe by Mirthe, The Netherlands
  • 6 years ago

WAUW. Your story is almost exactly the same as mine.
You need to stay strong! ♥

  • Miranda by Miranda, Singleton MN
  • 7 years ago

I went trough a painful life, my father left he was an alcoholic. He hurt me, he tried to kill himself. Then I grabbed the knife without even thinking I slit my wrists. It felt good like all my problems were gone. But they can back and just got worse. For 3 years I was cutting and I still am.

  • Michaela by Michaela, Tighnabruach
  • 7 years ago

I couldn't help but notice the comments/stories left were by people who still cut. Well I used too, a lot, every night without fail. BUT I STOPPED, and that's the important thing, it is possible to stop. I'm not saying it's easy, and I still feel horrible about it all, and sometimes I'm tempted back into my old ways, but I have sworn never to cut again. Cutting hurts the people around you too, that's how I managed to stop, my desire not to hurt them overcame my need to cut, and guess what: it gets easier not to do it as time goes on :)

So Stay Strong all of you♥

Life feels SOOO much better once you stop, I don't know your problems but I know cutting doesn't help in the long run. The sun will rise tomorrow, tackle each day one at a time and everything will eventually make sense♥

  • Anna by Anna, Ill
  • 7 years ago

I know this very well. I've tried to stop, but that doesn't work. I'm frightened that my parents will see my scars/fresh cuts. Today my friend saw my wrist/arm and I had to lie to her. I don't know what would happen if my parents found out.

  • Brenden by Brenden
  • 7 years ago

This poem relates to my everyday life. I know how it feels to cut my wrist.... my parents found out and it was the worst feeling in the world. I'm always depressed, I think about cutting myself everyday... It's a battle I will never win..

  • Tammy by Tammy, Tx.
  • 7 years ago

I am addicted to cutting myself I have gone through A LOT more then what people think I was raped and abused my two people in two states. I thought the cutting would take away the pain but it didn't it brought scars and everytime I look at my wrist it brings memories and pain, then I got it my bathroom and make new ones. I'm so addicted that I now carry a part of a broken cup to school to WalMart everywhere I go. I have a broken glass with me. That way when I see my scars I can cover them up with new cuts. I do know what it's like trying to hide scars I have 107 on my left arm between my elbow and my waist ALONE and I have 278 on my right rib cadge and I'm only 14

  • Kaelynn by Kaelynn, Oklahoma
  • 7 years ago

I know exactly how you feel. I'm a cutter but my family is very religious and I think they know but I'm not sure, if they do they're too ashamed of me to ask. I'm ashamed of my life. I always keep a razor within reaching distance just in case I have a wave of depression. I'm only 13 and I know this is gonna ruin my life but I'm addicted and idk how to stop. Your poem really touched me.

  • Bobby by Bobby, Virginia
  • 7 years ago

I have been having bullying, weight, and cutting problems. I don't believe in the label emo. I just want to be healed from my demons. I've also been in a bad relationship with my father and have been trying to get over his alcohol abuse. In last 2 year I have also under gone many leg surgeries. Many friend of mine since we're in middle school cutting is a big topic even thought I started in the middle of my last year in elementary school, and I don't know how to tell them or how they will take it. My mother did not understand and was in denial.

  • Joseph Vanmaastricht by Joseph Vanmaastricht
  • 7 years ago

I know this feeling all to well... I just felt ashamed but you know.. NOBODY can change what has happened and you are yourself not anybody else. Be strong in the time of darkness. But just remember. There is ALWAYS a way of redemption!

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