STOP Suicide Poem

I have been a heroin addict for years. I could see the pain and grief I had caused to everyone around me and the only way out I could see was to end it all. This was the letter I wrote to my mum before my heavy overdose and now I'm in involuntary treatment.

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This one hit me hard. My cousin died on July 18th, 2018. He overdosed on the fourth of July and was on life support until the 18th when we finally had to pull the plug. He did it...

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Goodbye Mum

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Published: April 2011

Dear mum,
This is your son,
I am writing this to you,
To tell you I'm done.

Hold back those tears,
Please don't cry
Don't make this any harder,
For me tonight.

You will see,
This is the only way,
For I am too much of a burden,
To you everyday.

I know by now,
You've met my soul mate,
Her name is Snow White,
This was just fate.

Slowly slowly,
She led me away,
From your warm nest,
Each and everyday.

All the lies and deceit,
I had to tell,
I can't stop now,
I am completely under her spell.

When you found out,
And you didn't believe my lies,
Again I'm so sorry,
For giving you those black eyes.

Every night you stayed up,
Dreading that knock on the door,
Is the number of reasons,
I can no longer ignore.

There is no way out,
Of this darkness and despair,
A long time ago,
God abandoned your prayers.

So you see,
There is only one way,
To kill myself now,
And end the pain today.

For this brief moment,
My thoughts are clear,
These ten more doses,
Means relief for you is near.

Don't blame yourself mum,
You raised me right,
I messed everything up,
But I'll fix this tonight.

You may not see it now
But over time your pain will ease
I love you, goodbye
Yours sincerely, now at peace



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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Sandra D Hickman by Sandra D Hickman
  • 1 month ago

My 32-year-old grandson, Ronnie, ended his life on 6/16/2018. He was much more than a grandson - more like my son. He was hooked on heroin. Had been beaten down in his life. We tried to help him and he himself. We believe that Ronnie had hurt his family so very much. I never expected him to take his own life. We miss him every day. Ronnie was a Christian. A good young man. We know he ended up in the Lord's hands. God Bless him so. Thank you so much for the time we shared with you, Ronnie. We love you.

  • Kelsey Capron by Kelsey Capron
  • 6 months ago

My older cousin was a heroin addict most his life. I used to watch him shoot up, and it broke my heart, but what broke my heart more was when he killed himself on December 6th. He was an addict, but he always brightened our days. He stopped my rapists from raping me more. He protected me like nobody else, and he really believed I could overcome my fear and mental illness. He was a bad person at times, and he really hurt us a lot, but nothing could compare to the hurt of him killing himself.

  • 7 months ago

This one hit me hard. My cousin died on July 18th, 2018. He overdosed on the fourth of July and was on life support until the 18th when we finally had to pull the plug. He did it intentionally and had wanted to for a while. He was only 20 and had been suffering from addiction since he was 14. He tried this on multiple events before, and they were able to bring him back. But this time, they could not. No one thought it was intentional. No one believed me. I knew from the start. I just knew it. And everyone finally believed me when they found the letter. My heart hurts knowing I didn't get one last I love you or goodbye.

I am personally struggling with severe depression right now and trying to get over addiction. It sucks because there have been many times where I wanted to be gone or attempted suicide. But I've felt the affects this has had on me and my family and wouldn't want to ever have to put them through that again.

  • Fire Lover by Fire Lover
  • 2 years ago

This poem really touched my heart. It reminds me of all the tims I have failed as a daughter to my mother. I'm dreadfully sorry for it all. The pain to you must be hard.

  • Karlissa D. by Karlissa D., Mt
  • 5 years ago

I watched my heavily intoxicated mother put a bullet through her head in January of 2013. My birthday was less than three weeks later. I now truly understand how big of a mistake it is to take your life. Please don't ever think that everyone is out to get you, or that nobody cares. Because if you look close enough, someone does.

  • Clarissa J by Clarissa J
  • 2 years ago

I am like this. I can't act like I am fine. My mum wouldn't understand me or anything I do. I can't tell her. I can't anyone.

  • Nikki by Nikki, Indiana
  • 5 years ago

I know how he feels my mom and dad don't under stand my silent calls for help. I wish that they would stop drinking. My dad is a mean drunk so I'm always afraid of what he will do. My mom gets so wasted she acts like she is a 16 year old again. they are both in there 50's they need a clue if only I had the courage to tell them I'm miserable to.

  • Cindy Schuz by Cindy Schuz
  • 3 years ago

I am so sorry for what you are having to experience. I have a friend that just had her daughter kill herself while on the phone with her. I am so sorry for your pain and I can only tell you that I believe with all my heart that things will get better and not only do people care but our father in heaven cares and has a plan for us. Please seek help because you are valuable and deserve to experience the love of others and true happiness. I can tell you that it is possible. I have experienced it. I am not selling anything---just want you to know the feeling of hope and love. God loves you and has a plan for your life.

  • Shannnon Powell by Shannnon Powell
  • 5 years ago

This touched my heart because I self harm and look at the poems and it makes me think actually what the hell am I doing to my mum and I know how you feel and I hope you are ok and don't end your life cause you only do it once and there is no return to life. Maybe you should go to counselling. It helps me so I'm sure it will help you, maybe try it.

  • Sierra by Sierra
  • 6 years ago

When I found out that my mom killed my dad I was crying because she killed him because they started a fight and then my dad wanted to kill her but then my mom ended up in jail for six years. My dad died on a Wednesday at 6:30 pm and I went to his funeral on Thursday at 11:30. Finally, I didn't want to do nothing to myself because that happened but I didn't because I realized that I was at SADD club at school!
SADD means students against destructive decisions

  • Kylie Murrrieta by Kylie Murrrieta
  • 6 years ago

This is very touching I loved it and I'm sorry you felt that way all life is special and you should of thought of the people that do love you and not only the ones that don't because you're not alone even if you think you are. :( I'm sorry

  • Hannah-Paige by Hannah-Paige
  • 8 years ago

This is what I wish to tell my mom. We fight a lot she is in AA but she relapsed. I was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts three day earlier. My mine started drinking again the night I got home from the hospital. One night my siblings and I were sitting watching a movie with my stepdad, my mom was up stairs leaning over the railing screaming. She called me a manipulating bitch. I called her a bitch back after she threw my brothers high school graduation invites at him. She slapped me then, my brother held her back . She threw a glass at my stepdad and a knife. She threw my stuff around my room screamed I wasn't her daughter any more. My little brother was crying. I called the cops she got in her car and rammed it into my stepdads over and over. The cops arrived and took her away she yelled out "thanks Hannah" just as they took her away.

  • Emma by Emma
  • 9 months ago

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be/have been a really hard time for you. I hope things get better with you and your family...

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