Self-Harm

• by Justyce Wood
• 2 years ago

I’m 14 now. I have had a horrible past. My mom chose of man over her kids when I was only six months old. My Grandma and Grandpa adopted me. And I lost my Grandpa at the age of four. I now live with my Grandma. She just recently was diagnosed with cancer and she has shingles. I have very bad depression and anxiety and I hate it. I have scars all over my thighs, arms, and legs. Everyone knows about my first cuts... but not about my recent ones...I try hard not to cut, but when my depression gets too bad, my body like blacks out but I'm still conscious. I just have no control over my body. And when that happens, I do things...I cut...over and over until I "wake up," which is usually after 10 minutes. No one around me really sees how much I struggle. I wish they did.

• by Broken
• 3 years ago

Although this poem is quite old, I just wanted to share my thoughts and feeling toward it, since I found it very touching. I'm currently 22 but have had issues with self-harm since high school, with the desire to do it sometimes fading but never actually going. Though I've never gone as far as to try and take my own life, I've thought of it at times, especially these last few months, as the desire has returned worse than ever before, and I've had many terrible days this year so far, with yesterday being one of the worst. Though I'm fine, I worry about this path I seem to be following. But putting that aside, after yesterday, I've felt at my lowest in more ways than one, but now today after waking up and reading this poem I feel a sense of relief. My heart goes out to you, and hope you're doing well, for the pain in your poem has helped relieve me of some of mine. So I thank you dearly for expressing something so difficult. Truly, thank you!

• by Not Using My Name
• 3 years ago

This poem really touched me. I started cutting at the age 3. I attempted to kill myself at age 4. I threw myself off of a 5-foot porch, but I only broke my collar bone. I made it look like I fell off. I have had a bad home life. When my mom was mad at my dad or anything else, she would take it out on me; she still does. I have cut again because my grandma went to prison. She was my best friend. In 2015, my cutting became worse because I lost my aunt, and we were very close. In 2014, my father's sister cheated on her husband, which led to me not seeing my cousins anymore, and that led to me to try to commit suicide, but my little brother walked in on me and said no and made me stop. I have not cut since 9/27/17, the night I got saved. I never told my mom and dad, but I wish that I would have. Remember that God put you on this Earth for a reason. Just wait and see what he has in store for you. Do not end your life now.

• by Ethan Guthrie
• 3 years ago

I've tried suicide many times, and I feel like I have no idea what's out there for me. I cut every day. Once I died from a bullet wound, but the doctors brought me back.

• by Ivy Rose Wood, Hartville Mo
• 4 years ago

I have been trying to not cut. My mom and my cousin are both dying from cancer, and I feel so stressed now.

• by Mel
• 5 years ago

My name is Mel. I didn't think I would be this way. Nobody ever does. I have been through a lot. It's obvious everyone has because I can have a perfectly good day then at night it all fades away, when all I ever wanted was to be taken care of. I lost my hero to many cancers, and I have been depressed for 5 years, almost 6. I am turning 14 and do not know where to turn. Things seem tough, and it's very hard to breathe. My brother would sometimes abuse me since I was the age of five by like strangling me. I made the mistake to do things on my wrist. Now it's mostly on the knee. Thanks for listening.

• by Isabel Boyle, 120 Curlane st, 6
• 5 years ago

Some people say they cut for attention. I cut for the pain. I cut for regret. I have been raped and molested. My dad molested me and some random guy on the road raped me. I have cut for a while now, and I'm only 12. So I ask myself, is this REALLY the life I was given? Did God REALLY think I would survive?

• by Melissa
• 5 years ago

Hey everyone. My name is Melissa. I'm in my mid-twenties and have been cutting since I was 13. I didn't have a calm home life, and I started working when I was 7. By the time I worked, I had been raped a few years prior. I was raped and assaulted multiple times by a youth group member. Went to church every Sunday with him. A year later I get assaulted by a kid on school property. I started cutting with pen caps; it wasn't enough. Had to move to other tools. Hid it for a while, but my parents noticed. I was in an abusive relationship for a few years as a 19 year old. I did what I had to for me but still cut. I felt that I deserved the pain. Truth is, no one does. I still struggle now and have tried to kill myself 3 times. Took a lot of chances because I didn't care. I care now for myself and my future, but I did have a relapse a few years ago. I've been on medication, and it hasn't always worked. But the key is to get back on the horse and cowgirl it, at least where I come from.

• by Swagatika
• 5 years ago

Wow, I finally feel like I am not the only one to cut. I am in 10th grade and I started to harm myself. But dear friends, don't you think it's enough now? Don't you think life is too short to cry in solitude? Let's get over it. Promise to yourself that you are here for a reason. Live life and enjoy it. Stop crying alone. Stop harming yourself...at least for Him who created you and for yourself. Remember there are millions of people in this world, but still you are born because God knows there is something which you and only you can do...Wish you a happy life.

• by Mikayla Parkhurst
• 6 years ago

I was pretty young when I was told I had Dysthymia (mild but long-term form of depression), and it really shocked mum. I was asked how I felt, but as soon as they asked me they started laughing at me. I felt so disappointed in myself and just wanted to die. I read this poem and I realized I wasn't alone.

• by Refuse To Use My Real Name.
• 6 years ago

I'm not telling my name or location.

I was in kindergarten when I started cutting. I was called many names including: useless freak, mistake, demon spawn; as well as many others, and those are just by other kids. My oldest brother calls me a "little bitch". Every friend I've had has either: told all the secrets I've told them, spread lies about me, turned my other friends against me, etc. By the time I was in 7th grade I had already tried to kill myself 3 times. I am now just starting college and have tried to kill myself a total of 9 times. I still cut as well as starve myself. I have scars all over my shoulders, wrists, thighs, waist, and stomach. I never talk to anyone other then close family members anymore and people think I'm mute and make fun of me for that.

• by Sarah
• 6 years ago

When I was just the age of 12 I started cutting. My whole life up until that point had been nothing but abuse both mental and physical. I had finally reached a point that I had to let all of the pain I had been holding inside, for years, out. So one day I picked up a razor blade stuck it to my wrist and just laid in. It was something that was only for me as I was not the only child in the house. I wish I could say that since I started I have quit but here it is and I am going to be 26 and have a child of my own but I am still cutting. Doctors, hospitals, I have been to them all, none of them have ever figured out what makes me tick, what makes me cut. My body is full of scars from where my blade has made its mark on my skin. I have been told I need to stop, I have the will to quit but honestly it's not that easy to quit. Almost 14 years later my life is starting to get better but I still cut.

• by Ashley Heustess
• 6 years ago

My names Ashley, I'm 15 & in the 10th grade at D.H.Conley. I've cut since I was 9 because that's when I started getting bullied, when I was in the 5th grade. People would call my ugly, fat, stupid and I'm really sensitive so I take those things seriously, and I was going through a lot at home. My dad was an alcoholic and he always left me, my mom & my little brother. He was really mean. I'm in the 10th grade now and I was in Brynn Marr mental hospital in Jacksonville for 3 months for cutting and trying to commit suicide because everyone hated me and I had no friends, and everyone called me names and said I was a mistake and that I should kill myself. Brynn Marr didn't help. I still cut every night, and still get bullied, and still wanna die, I have no one... I just give up.

• by Blue
• 6 years ago

This poem was beautiful, though sometimes I feel as if there isn't enough recognition for those who self harm simply out of boredom sometimes. I started self harming because my friend told me that she cut herself, and I wanted to know what she felt like so that I could try and help her out -- so that she wouldn't be alone. Sure, I had a few issues, such as being a lesbian and suffering from social anxiety. But that's not really why I cut. After a while cutting became comforting. It helped with loneliness and, again, boredom. It was something secret, something that was mine and only mine. It wasn't just because I felt like I couldn't handle pain. But this poem just goes to show that it does end. It does get better, regardless of why you started.

• by Mb Ks
• 6 years ago

I am 12 years old and I have been depressed for going on three years now. I have been self harming since I was in the sixth grade. When I was in fifth grade I had a crush on a boy, and made the mistake of telling my "best friend" and she told him. He told me the next day that he would never like me because I was too fat, dumb, and ugly. Now seventh grade me still feels fat, dumb, and ugly. But it has spread to much more than that now. I have tried to kill myself more than once. I feel worthless, I hate myself. I found someone to help me. She is now my best friend. We were in class one day and she saw my scars, and just simply rolled up her sleeve to show me hers. We help each other. She is the reason I am not dead today. I owe her my life.

• by Kendra Martin, WI, Amery, Polk
• 6 years ago

I'm 17 and I have been cutting for 5 years. I am struggling with anorexia. I am 5'7" and weigh 96 pounds. From the time I was 6 till about 8 months ago my life has been filled pain and sexual, emotional, verbal, and physical abuse from the man my mom married when I was 6. He hurt me more than any one will ever realize. As a result of him raping me every day. I tried to hang my self which put me in a mental hospital for a week and right now I live in a group home. I have PT SD, OCD, ODD, Anorexia, and depression. He ruined my life and every day I want to die but I know my little sisters need me to be strong. I need to make sure they don't feel the pain I feel every day.

• by Emily, Illinois US
• 7 years ago

I'm a little late to say this, but it's nice to finally find a poem (that deals with suicide) that doesn't say "Hey, the only way to feel no pain, is to feel nothing at all!" It's terrible to know that there are some many young people out there who believe the only way to be happy is to commit suicide. But, no. A way to be happy is to feel pain, to know how life really feels, then you'll know what happiness is. You'll soon realize that happiness was something you have felt before, you just didn't know what it was at first.

• by Lauren Gallagher
• 7 years ago

I'm not using my real name for this. And I'm not giving away my location.

Anyways, hi. I'm 14 years old and I'm being abused by my older brother. Everyday, he mimics me, calling me fat, stupid, worthless, etc. He even told me that I'd be better off if I was dead.

I started to cut myself at age 10. I know, very young. I still cut today, and I'm 14.

Well, I told my mum about my older brother. She doesn't care. I told my dad. He doesn't care either. I'm thinking about calling the police if this gets worse.

Anyways, I was beaten up by my brother a few nights ago. He pushed me to the floor, skinning my knee. He almost killed me twice, once when I was 7 years old, and another time when I turned 11.

I'm sick and tired of living in a living Hell. I'm tired of feeling pain everyday. I'm too scared to walk out of the bus to my house everyday. I'm scared, confused, afraid and depressed.

That is all I have to say for now. Goodbye.

• by Lilly
• 7 years ago

I'm quite young, 13. I've been cutting for about three years now. Most people say that I'm an attention seeker, when really, I have a reason to inflict pain upon myself. My birth-mother is trans, and my grandmother (on my birth-father's side) doesn't accept that. It's been a little over 7 years since I've lived in the same house as my birth-mother, who I now call 'dad'. My birth-father has never been a parental unit in my lifetime, and I don't think that he'll ever be. I cut because I have nobody who understands what I'm going through. I cut because I have nobody to tell me that I deserve to live. I cut because I have been abused, verbally and physically. I cut because I have nobody to rely on. I'm just a suicidal kid telling other suicidal kids that they shouldn't do it. And I'm tired of it. I starve myself, I harm myself, I hate everything about myself. I'm slowly dying and nobody seems to care. It's like I'm drowning, but I can see everyone around me breathing just fine. I'm suffering. And nobody's here to help..

• by Lacey Rae, Cutlerville
• 7 years ago

I'm 18 and have been cutting for 11 years. The reason I started cutting was because I felt ignored by my family. To this day, I still cut for the same reason.

• by Lilly
• 7 years ago

I am 13 and I self harm because I have depression because I am in care and nobody in this care situation cares about me so I self harm because I feel alone I need help before it is to late. I tried to kill my self by jumping over a bridge I nearly did. I put my two feet over the bridge but this man stopped me and said think of other people around you that care and I told him that nobody did care until I thought of my mum and dad and my two siblings I thought it was so selfish. I now live with someone that cares so I am here to talk about anything with anyone that need help. I know that I am only 13 years of age but I have been through a rough few years losing people I most care about, so people out there think of other people before doing anything silly.

• by Destiny
• 8 years ago

I used to smoke only for a while! I got my friend involved. I shouldn't of done that! We both got found out it went around the school. I felt like I had killed somebody I made all my friends cry. I told my parents and they where really disappointed. And despite all that I carried on smoking. And it all went wrong I regretted everything I did. Everybody hated me all because of these 2 girls spreading the rumors. But now I realize I was being silly. I don't care what other people think of me it's what I think of myself. If I don't care other people shouldn't either! Everybody should take my advise and just don't care!

• by Autumn Cervantes
• 8 years ago

Yes this did touch me. I'm 12 and I have cuts all over my two shoulders my wrists have deep cuts. I told my dad when he saw them that it was from pets but the reason I cut is because my mom lives in Texas and I'm all the way in Michigan she never sees me except for the summers. I've told my dad I'm suicidal/self harming /depressed but he doesn't believe me. I don't know why:( but I need help before it's to late I tried last week to kill myself but I thought I'll give myself one last chance....And I think I lost it.

• by Falon
• 8 years ago

I'm 13 and I self harm sometimes and I have given up on god because I have prayed for 3 years for my life to change but he didn't answer back. He didn't help me and I just don't understand, like if Jesus were real why can't we see him. In the bible it says he died and came back so why can't he be here now, and if he is real and if he hears my prayers then why did he let people bully me to the point I cut myself, and if there was a god he would respond to your prayers and help you at the moment you need help, and how come nobody understands how I feel and why would Jesus let people push you to the point of self harm

• by Skylar, Ireland
• 8 years ago

This really touched me because I myself am a self-harmer. I've been self-harming for about two years now. I've tried to commit suicide twice. No one knows. I don't know how no one heard my screams. When I pleaded for help. I didn't get any. I've tried so many thing but I just can't stop. My thighs are covered in scars and so are my wrists. I don't do it on my arms or my wrists anymore because everyone will see. I've been told to kill myself so many time and after two years I finally tried. No Hope. My shiny blades are the only things that helped me and are the only things that help me now.

• by Serena
• 9 years ago

Well I'm quite young I'm only 12 and I have been self-harming since I was 9. Some people say I was attention seeking but to go through what I am still going through now is hard enough , this poem has touched my heart and I do this as well, I write self harming poems to try to stop but me ... I have an actual problem I have bipolar disorder as well as me self harming , it's hard because no one understands me, and I don't even understand myself, that's how bad everything is, I ask for help and everyone just throws it back in my face I'm a young girl I'm smart and I have exams in a week and I can't even sit down and revise properly without more bad news coming towards me. Today I have court against my mother! My own mother! And I don't know how it's going to be okay. I love you all thank you for this it has made me have a second thought of suicide xoxoxox

• by Beth
• 9 years ago

I still self harm and this poem made me cry and it has helped me to try to stop. my ex-boyfriend is another reason I'm stopping because no matter how mean I am to him when I want to self harm he is always there for me no matter what and it was him that told me to search this poem.

• by Alyssa
• 9 years ago

I remember when I sat in the corner of my room with a pocket knife slitting my wrists, my boyfriend came in the room saw me he took the knife away and said no baby you can't keep doing this to yourself. Then he was always by me when he saw that I was getting mad he would grab my wrists and not let go until he saw the anger was over. Now I see why he did not want me to do that He loves me too much for me to be doing that.

• by Corinne, California
• 9 years ago

I know how it feels hearing death whisper in your ear. Sometimes I think of taking its advise, but then I think no I won't. I won't give any one the satisfaction. Keep fighting everything works out in the end.

• by Mark Graham, Fort Worth Texas
• 9 years ago

All I can say is wow, I was Just trying to find the right poem to ease my parents mind of the loss of there son ...Me...

"Self harm"
I've tried many times before but tonight it was going to be different, I was going to end it all, the loneliness the pain all of it. All I want is love,
Is it too much to ask to be loved....?
Thank you so much this poem was perfect it saved a life....

• by Amber, Home
• 10 years ago

This was amazing and touched my heart completely. I started crying. :/

• by Emily, Arkansas
• 11 years ago

I am so touched by this poem. it actually made me cry. I know how it feels to feel not loved and/or useless. I have an acting class and I need to perform a poem. I think I found it :) your poem makes me want to quit self harm.

• by Jade
• 12 years ago

Your lucky to have survived. and God gave you a second chance. Don't let him take this one away, there won't be anymore. If you read these poems, you'll realize how lucky you are.

• by Jade
• 12 years ago

This is really sad. I hope you realized your family does love you and you understand what they have obviously gone through. I've never self harmed but I know what its like as I've had experience from friends. And I know its not a pretty site. Your right, live every day as it comes, and just talk through your problems with friends and family. Its so much easier xxxxx

• by Unknown
• 13 years ago

This poem touched me although I'm not going what your going through. I admire your strength for some one to feel like that is just unexplainable. I hope you have wonderful days to come and joy without your whole life

• by Alix DB, UK
• 14 years ago

I'm sorry, but this touched my heart so much I used to self harm but I don't any more I help my friends with what ever I can
my friends all know what happened and they know it really is close to me
so love to you all out there because its not the end of the world there's always a way out
xxxxx