A Life In Fight

Published: December 2010

You said that you'd never leave,
You said that you'd stay here,
And you said that you'd stay you,
So that you could help me get through.
Now just one question lingers in the air,
What happened?

Where did you go?
You disappeared into thin air,
Plunging a knife into my heart,
No more you.

Why'd you have to do it?
The zombie you,
Twisted the knife,
Shattered my heart,
Left fingerprints,
All over my skin.

What did I do to make you stop loving me?
Answer me,
I'm screaming silently,
Pleading on my knees.
I still need you,
Even if it was all a lie,
You made it so real.
Make me believe again,
Please,
Keep me alive,
Keep me hopeful,
Then you can ruin it again,
I won't care.

WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
My mind shatters,
Finally breaking,
Collapsing upon itself.
The streams of tears finally pour out,
But nothing is getting fixed,
Nothing is happening.

Letting myself fall to the ground,
I say that I can't do this anymore,
That I don't want to.
I've been holding on for too long,
It's time to let go.

Prying my fingers off the ledge,
They slide right back into place,
I scream at myself to let go,
Just let go,
But part of me still holds back,
Someone is whispering in the back of my mind,
"Just try one more time."
I scream back the question that's been in my mind for so long,
"WHY?"
They whisper back,
"Why not?"
Frustrating whisper,
Why can't it just go away,
And just let me give up?

So tired,
I try to stand up again,
But something is pulling me down,
I can only get up onto my knees,
Memories fill my mind,
I grab a razor blade,
I'm forced onto the floor again,
As the blood flows free.