Addiction Poem about Family

This is dedicated to the way my mom was when I was raised and some of the stuff I deal with today.

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I was addicted to pain pills for 10 years and I'm now 29 years old. When I read this it brought me to tears. I remember the feeling of being alone and not caring who I hurt as long as I got...

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My Last Pain

©

Published: June 2007

Another spill down the drain,
one more pill to drown my pain.
Is it a cover up or a disguise
I don't think I'll ever stop and realize.

More hurt and dissatisfying tears.
One more bad picture, then I face my fears.
I'll always be scared deep down inside
But yet I still continue to deny.

I feel there is no one to turn to in my time of need.
So I light up a big one, and smoke some weed.
To me, my life is just one big joke.
A life of heroine, alcohol, not to mention coke.

These are substitutes to make me fly.
I feel I have nothing to worry about when I am high.
Some of the drugs hit so fast
Then I say to myself, "This will be the last."

But more pain and anger builds up in my heart.
I know what I need to numb my parts.
Suddenly I feel that high again.
I don't care who I hurt or the sin within.

I start thinking I just want to die.
There is no one who cares or questions why?
I decide to take that last shot once more.
Then I am gone, there is nothing to live for.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • by Tessa Shirley, Georgia
  • 2 years ago

I was addicted to pain pills for 10 years and I'm now 29 years old. When I read this it brought me to tears. I remember the feeling of being alone and not caring who I hurt as long as I got what I needed to feel better. I hurt my whole family, my kids and especially my mom. The one thing that will always stay with me is the day I went to jail for doing something stupid because I was high. My Mom looked in my eyes and said "I never thought one of my kids would ever choose drugs or end up in jail", she was ashamed of me.

I had a long hard road ahead of me to getting clean. I had pushed everyone away because they couldn't take the lies and the stealing. They tried to get me help over and over but it never helped more than a month. Finally they did the best thing they could for me, they walked away. I had no one else to run to for help, they gave me a choice: get yourself clean or we can't be part of your life anymore.

After a couple of years of not having my mom and realizing that they weren't going to give in and let me back in, I finally got help and yes it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I've been clean over a year now and my family is starting to come back around. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I'm not going to lie, I'm always going to have hurdles I'll have to overcome, but I know I never want to be the person I was then.

  • by Janeen Cincinnati, Ohio
  • 3 years ago

This is a very sad poem. It has hit me so hard as I have just lost my daughter a month ago to a heroin overdose.

  • by Nilda Saenz, Fresno CA
  • 4 years ago

Hi I've been clean from meth for 1 year but not quite sober from norocos I have had to take um due to a chronic back problem but thought I'd say how much I had lost due my drug use almost lost the trust of my kids and just hit rock bottom. I enjoy life now since I stopped the meth and am trying to get back on track with life itself. God has been on my side has helped me thru all the mistakes I've made when being under the influence back then. So god bless you all.

  • by Tracy Gibson
  • 5 months ago

My husband has always battled with addiction. We have been together for 14 1/2 years. About 3 years ago he was really strung out on meth and pain pills, to the point that I was completely ready to give up. He caught a charge and ended up on a program. He is now a little over 2 years clean from the meth but still likes his pain pills. It's been a very long hard road that we are still battling. But I am so proud of what progress he has made. Congratulations on your sobriety! Keep up the good work and faith. If you are attending meetings, stick with them. He went back to the pills shortly after deciding he didn't have time for meetings. Best wishes on your journey!

  • by Albert Rodriguez, Brooklyn NY
  • 5 years ago

I am 50 years old and I made 10 years clean this past May. My addict behavior started with my first drag of a cigarette, I was only 10 years old. That behavior led me to alcohol and drugs. I though that was the way life was written for me, to suffer and die. Till I started truly praying to god and gave me the strength and wisdom to seek help. There's not enough room on this page to tell my whole story but thank God there's hope for all of us.

  • by Shana, Florida
  • 5 years ago

I am twenty one years old and have been using drugs since I was thirteen. I have ruined my life almost completely. People wonder how when god I'm only 21? In my eight year run I have managed to go to jail 4 times. My latest for Trafficking in Oxycodone. Both my Mom and Dad are very sick with all kinds of problems.. from tumors to liver disease to diabetes to a torn rotator cuff! Do you think I care at all that they need their medications? Of course I do But nowhere near enough not to steal from them and leave them with none! They still love me and support me in anything I try to do But I always end up with a big fat INCOMPLETE! I can't stand the way this makes me feel, every single day of my life I have to find at least twenty pills just to feel normal. I always try and quit or go to rehab but then I end up checking myself out! My last pain will be the day I lose them and I couldn't give them their dying wish... to see their little girl Sober again.

  • by Susan Woolum
  • 6 years ago

What a very sad poem. My son is 20 yrs old-not in prison, but in county jail until his court date which is April 25. He only has a $1000/$100 PR bond he can get out w/$100. Am I wrong to feel he should stay there from now until then? Is he really safer there? I know if he comes out, he will still use. He is addicted to heroin and smoking crack. Cheap highs, I guess, these days. The epidemic in Michigan is heroin lately, more so than marijuana. He has been to 3 rehabs. Self-medicated himself since 2004 when I was diagnosed with cancer, which is now in my bones. It's progressing and I am always a nervous wreck. Wondering if he will be coming home every night alive.

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