Famous Funny Poem

This poem was published in Revolting Rhymes, a collection of six Roald Dahl poems published in 1982. Each poem is a parody of a traditional folk tale. He provides a re-interpretation and surprise ending instead of the traditional happily-ever-after ending. In this poem with gory twists, Roald Dahl combines the characters in the Three Little Pigs story with Little Red Riding Hood.

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This is an unanticipated and unexpected poem. Though the title sounds childish, it is a complete transformation of the story Three Little Pigs! Roald Dahl has a creative mind which I...

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Famous Poem

The Three Little Pigs

Roald Dahl By more Roald Dahl

The animal I really dig,
Above all others is the pig.
Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever,
Pigs are courteous. However,
Now and then, to break this rule,
One meets a pig who is a fool.
What, for example, would you say,
If strolling through the woods one day,
Right there in front of you you saw
A pig who'd built his house of STRAW?
The Wolf who saw it licked his lips,
And said, 'That pig has had his chips.'
'Little pig, little pig, let me come in!'
'No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!'
'Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!'

The little pig began to pray,
But Wolfie blew his house away.
He shouted, 'Bacon, pork and ham!
Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!'
And though he ate the pig quite fast,
He carefully kept the tail till last.
Wolf wandered on, a trifle bloated.
Surprise, surprise, for soon he noted
Another little house for pigs,
And this one had been built of TWIGS!

'Little pig, little pig, let me come in!'
'No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!'
'Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!'

The Wolf said, 'Okay, here we go!'
He then began to blow and blow.
The little pig began to squeal.
He cried, 'Oh Wolf, you've had one meal!
Why can't we talk and make a deal?
The Wolf replied, 'Not on your nelly!'
And soon the pig was in his belly.

'Two juicy little pigs!' Wolf cried,
'But still I'm not quite satisfied!
I know how full my tummy's bulging,
But oh, how I adore indulging.'
So creeping quietly as a mouse,
The Wolf approached another house,
A house which also had inside
A little piggy trying to hide.
'You'll not get me!' the Piggy cried.
'I'll blow you down!' the Wolf replied.
'You'll need,' Pig said, 'a lot of puff,
And I don't think you've got enough.'
Wolf huffed and puffed and blew and blew.
The house stayed up as good as new.
'If I can't blow it down,' Wolf said,
I'll have to blow it up instead.
I'll come back in the dead of night
And blow it up with dynamite!'
Pig cried, 'You brute! I might have known!'
Then, picking up the telephone,
He dialed as quickly as he could
The number of red Riding Hood.

'Hello,' she said. 'Who's speaking? Who?
Oh, hello, Piggy, how d'you do?'
Pig cried, 'I need your help, Miss Hood!
Oh help me, please! D'you think you could?'
'I'll try of course,' Miss Hood replied.
'What's on your mind...?' 'A Wolf!' Pig cried.
'I know you've dealt with wolves before,
And now I've got one at my door!'

'My darling Pig,' she said, 'my sweet,
That's something really up my street.
I've just begun to wash my hair.
But when it's dry, I'll be right there.'

A short while later, through the wood,
Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
The Wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze,
And yellowish, like mayonnaise.
His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
And spit was dripping from his jaw.
Once more the maiden's eyelid flickers.
She draws the pistol from her knickers.
Once more she hits the vital spot,
And kills him with a single shot.
Pig, peeping through the window, stood
And yelled, 'Well done, Miss Riding Hood!'

Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Sarah Dissanayake by Sarah Dissanayake
  • 2 years ago

This is a funny and dark poem. The ending made me laugh and think about that story. I recommend this to people who like to have a laugh and are a bit dark.

  • Thenuka Bouteju by Thenuka Bouteju
  • 3 years ago

This is an unanticipated and unexpected poem. Though the title sounds childish, it is a complete transformation of the story Three Little Pigs! Roald Dahl has a creative mind which I like...and towards the end I was so shocked! Fabulous! I thought I would be extremely bored will reading but in the end I started to giggle to myself.

  • Tenuki Weerakkody by Tenuki Weerakkody
  • 3 years ago

It was amusing when Roald Dahl mixed the characters. I like the part where Little Red Riding Hood was included and was washing her hair when the last pig called her.

  • Mattias Kenny by Mattias Kenny
  • 3 years ago

It was an amazing poem and it had me bursting with laughter. Although the ending was interesting compared to good old fairy tale, it was incredibly dark. I would recommend it to people who like dark comedy.

  • Robin Quance by Robin Quance
  • 4 years ago

I am eighty-six and in a poetry group, which consists of similarly aged ancients. All I need to say is that when I read it to the gathering one evening after, I admit, the addition of a little tincture, we all fell about. Which only goes to prove that age tends to return you to childhood!.

  • Robin Quance by Robin Quance
  • 4 years ago

I can certainly verify the truth of my submission. At an annual get together, my wife and I read the poem to the group (about 30) with the help of awful home-made masks. I took the part of the wolf and my wife spoke for the pigs and Red Riding Hood; although I should hastily say she bears no resemblance to the pigs. There was general hilarity, particularly at our rather unrehearsed rendition!

  • Callie McCartney by Callie McCartney
  • 4 years ago

That was so funny. I thought I was not going to laugh, but...I did.

  • Deborah M. Figueira by Deborah M. Figueira, Toronto
  • 4 years ago

This rendition of the Three Little Pigs, incorporating Red Riding Hood is creativity at its best! I am a harsh critic and don't give a five-star rating frequently; however this twist by Ronald Dahl is worth an applause! Well done!

  • Bobby Mc Roberson by Bobby Mc Roberson
  • 5 years ago

I've never heard of this poem before. It got so dark towards the end.

  • Hayden Leigh Gibson by Hayden Leigh Gibson
  • 5 years ago

This is a really good poem! It is like the real story but it's not! It's funnier!

  • Hayden Leigh Gibson by Hayden Leigh Gibson
  • 5 years ago

I really enjoy this poem. It reminds me of my childhood. When I was little, I loved this story. Thank you for writing this poem!

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