Addiction Poem about Family

My two boys are my life and the inspiration behind this poem. Always praying for an improved father/son relationship for their sake. I hope it touches your heart.
(has been edited for length)

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A Boy's Perception

default © more by Karen Warn

Published: February 2009

Too much chaos, too much strife; we need to go to build a new life. Tyler is one now and I am three; a family together, will longer be.

You come on Sundays- that's "dad day", but sometimes life gets in your way. Daddy's here- he rang the bell, so many things to share and tell. You need to leave??? We say good-bye. We're told of drinking when we ask "why?"

I'm now four and Tyler's two, there are so many things we'd like to do. We run to you as you come inside, but the test reveals what you're trying to hide. We beg you daddy "take us, please", but you close the door with so much ease. Tears fill our eyes and we start to cry. No answers are given when we ask "Why?"

I turned five and started school, I am growing big and I'm no fool. There are some things I want to know - how come daddies just come and go?

I just turned six and I'm getting tall. He wants to be big--- but Tyler's small. Tyler once asked me, "What do you think? - Don't you believe ALL daddies drink?"

A year goes by and I turn seven, I pray to god and I pray to heaven. Pretty soon I'll be eight, I'm losing all hope... and ... "What is fate??"

Tyler's seven and I'm now nine. Without you, dad... we'll be just fine. I can't believe I'm almost ten; I know now what "should have been". You chose to drink your life away. So in our hearts is where you'll stay.

Tyler's nine and I'm eleven, mom is here and you're in heaven. Mom says to us, with her soft touch, "You boys are loved so very much!" "Your daddy's gone, he went away. It was by choice... that's what some say." It was hard for us to say good-bye; but for unknown reasons we didn't cry.

I turned twelve and Tyler's ten, he still longs for "what might have been". Fun days with dad and playing ball; no memories or pictures line our wall. When he gets bigger he will see, some things in life are "meant to be". "It is what it is" - that's what I've been told, he'll understand when he gets old.

No longer a child, I'm now a teen. The days with you can no longer be seen. Fourteen and fifteen, years flying by fast. Memories of you have faded at last.

Tyler's is young... and seeking me out. Looking to learn what life's all about. "Life can be hard and sometimes sad. You'll need grow up, be unlike our dad. He had lots of sorrows, and several regrets. You will live proud life that no one forgets."

I am now driving and on my first date. Mom's very worried... I'm coming home late. I say "I'm home". And with sigh of relief, mom sits down and recalls her belief: "Boys need a father to learn and to grow, and one that you had, you really didn't know". "It could be true Mom, some dads give advice... but one that I had... I don't think about twice."

Now a grown man and on my own way, there is just one thing I wanted to say: Things could have been different... Dad don't you see... for I am still five, and Tyler is three.

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