My Addiction - Page 3

Looking forward with fear I stare.
I face the mirror to see there.
I've lost my family, my friends are few.
You've controlled my life but now I'm through.
I'm finally strong enough to fight.
By myself I'll make this right.
I've lived in hell with my demon.
I've done your deeds, a life of scheming.
All I've loved I've lost, no hope.
All that's left is you and dope.
Seeing life smoked through a glass
To erase the memories from my past.
With every hit I kept you strong.
I've stayed weak for far too long.
I'm taking back all you stole.
My life, my love, my world, my soul.
Today's the day I leave this jail.
So take your demon and go to hell.

(Ode to Alcohol)
The queasy feeling in my stomach
The pounding in my head
The only thoughts in my mind
Were wishing I was dead

My forehead covered in cold sweats
Body shakes beyond control
The endless aching in my bones
As you consumed my very soul

The minutes turned into hours
The hours turned into days
suddenly, every moment that I ever lived
Was just a smoke filled haze

As I watched my body waste away
And my life slowly coming to an end
I realized. That I was wrong
You're the devil & not my friend

So, I'm taking back what's left of my life
Not one more second will you dominate
I'll bet the strength that lives in me
You didn't anticipate

Cast you spell on someone else
Find another unsuspecting prey
I came to live, NOT to die
And my life begins TODAY...

For the rest of my life, cursed with this disease.
For all those who suffer, we just got to believe.
Believing in yourself is the hardest thing to do,
so take a look in the mirror and ask do you see you?
Every day and every night we hurt,
wishing we were taken care of by a nurse.
This morning I woke up, fell out of my bed.
Wish I had some pills for the pain in my head.
What ya'll don't know is what ya'll don't see...
the disease trying to take control makes me want to bleed.
Past memories, shooting up all these cravings.
I don't want to use, I pray, I'm begging.
Please strengthen me, for every day is a new day,
but where's my strength, when all I do is lay.
No energy, no effort to be who I want to be.
The life of an addict, can't you see?
This battle has been won.
The war, my friend, will forever go on.
So now what are you going to do?
Hold my head up high and try not to get the blues!
No more smoking powder out of that pipe.
I'm in the fight for my life.
I've come a long way, so you don't got to judge.
When standing next to me, don't give me that nudge.
If you really want to know, I will tell
my journal, turned into a book; it might sell.
My dreams are now back in sight
with help through the darkness is that light.
Shocked and smiling, knowing I did survive
through this disease. Thank God, I am still alive.

*An addict I'm not...

so he pushes me away
hoping I won't see it and lead him astray

*An addict I'm not...

but I must still live the life
dealing and coping
praying one day he'll stop

*An addict I'm not...

maybe I feel it more
knowing any moment he could walk out that door

*An addict I'm not...

so I live all alone
sure he's here beside me,
but it's not him that's home

*An addict I'm not...

so I deal with his lies
the deceit and the pain
and all the tear free cries

*An addict I'm not...

thinking I could help
one day my love will be enough,
but it won't, I can tell

*An addict I'm not...

I see the pain in his heart and
the fear that grips his soul
as he grabs for his pipe,
and smokes one more bowl

*An addict I'm not...

if only he could just see
what I see in him
and know he could someday be

*An addict I'm not...

so I watch from afar
as he destroys himself
a little more each day-

Dear God, please help him
each night I'll continue to pray!

*Because an addict I'm not,

but I must watch him be

Today I sat and tried my best to think.
If it could end your life why would you drink?
I wish I knew how to change your mind.
Life is too precious to leave it all behind.
How can you just turn around and walk away.
When we need a dad here for us today.
Is that what you want the easy way out?
To leave this world without any doubt.
So stop a minute and take a deep breath.
Drinking like this could lead to your death.
Think of everything you have before you choose.
If you don't stop drinking that is what you will lose.
After all these years there is one thing I now know.
If I love you this much it time to let go.