Poems That Touched My Heart

I should have held you longer,
I should have held you tighter.
When you were a baby, I rocked you to sleep
and put you down because there was work to be done,
but
I should have held you longer,
I should have held you tighter
because I can't hold you anymore.

Then you were a toddler;
you wanted to squirm and run,
so I put you down because you wanted to go have fun;
but
I should have held you longer,
I should have held you tighter
because I can't hold you anymore.

You grew and became a little boy,
and the times I could hold you became less and less
but still so dear.
I should have held you longer,
I should have held you tighter
because I can't hold you anymore.

You grew to be a young man.
I wanted to hold you near
but you just wanted to run clear.
But
I should have held you longer,
I should have held you tighter;
I had no idea I wasn't going to hold you anymore.

Now I hold you longer, tighter in my heart for all eternity,
wishing and wanting more...until I hold you again.

To Daniel Vincent Mahan   Love, Mom
January 7, 1997--January 3, 2019

There are times when things seem normal again
We laugh and talk about trivial things
We enjoy each other's company
But we can't deny the thought in our minds
Unspoken words of what lingers behind
Of knowing it will come sooner than we are ready for
I don't know if I will be able to stand the sorrow
Of losing you before your body goes
And sometimes I sit and cry alone
For it is hard to watch you slowly go....

I felt like I was falling
Off of a very steep cliff
And I just kept on tumbling
Into an unknown abyss

I fell deeper and deeper
And into places never known,
But my fall would teach me something
That I had yet to be shown

I know the words of the Lord,
So forgive I always do
And it was never hard for me
Until it came to you

We should always be forgiving
And we know why this must be
Forgive so that we can be forgiven,
These are familiar words to me

Where mercy is given,
Mercy will be shown
But put through such a fall
Is something I'd never known

I loved you and feared you
And it was hard to live that way
But I patiently waited on God
And He finally made a way

The hate that consumes you,
It runs incredibly deep
And I was terribly hurt
Falling from this cliff so very steep

But now I have forgiven you
Free from the fear in which I was kept
Taught to forgive in a deeper way,
By God's love that has greater depth

Have you seen the doctors who hardly get to sleep?
From sad weary eyes, silent tears they weep.
They're battling to save hundreds of lives,
Yet see so many dying right before their eyes.

Have you seen the nurses, tired and worn,
Just come from doing many hours on the wards?
Have you seen them out, walking on lonely streets
Searching empty shelves, for nourishing food to eat?

Have you seen domestics, putting safety first
Keeping hospitals clean, fighting off the germs?
Bravely they go into infectious wards,
Never thinking of themselves, no not at all.

Have you seen the porters, down on their heels,
Walking many miles, pushing many wheels?
We must respect this valued band of women and men.
Though they go unnoticed, we can't do without them.

Have you seen the caterers, keeping all folk fed?
The staff and the patients lying in their beds.
Such an important part to play in someone's health,
A role that couldn't be compared to any amount of wealth.

A great big thank to all National Health Staff
To every volunteer coming forward like they have.
You all have a part of our hearts, are in every prayer we make.
May God bless you all, keeping you well and safe.

Santa, do you know where heaven is?
Maybe your reindeer know the way.
For I have a special present
I need delivered on Christmas day.

For Christmas is a time for sharing
With those we hold so dear.
Please take this gift, with all my love
For an angel who's no longer here.

It's wrapped up in all our memories
We once shared from the past.
The ribbons and bows are all our dreams.
Inside there's a broken heart.

It's such a special parcel.
Please Santa, don't delay.
I would love it to be in heaven
In time for Christmas day.

I open my eyes to a light so bright...
Where I'm surrounded by colours, an amazing sight,
And a beautiful Angel holds me in her arms.
I feel safe and happy, contented and calm.

"I'm so joyful to see you, now you've come home.
Please don't be afraid for you're never alone.
You are supported by angels in this heaven above,
Each one with open arms and bundles of love.

Maybe you think you've come home too soon,
But it was in your plan, for you have lots to do.
Now you've returned to renew your task.
Allow me to guide you, that's all I ask.

You never need miss those you left behind,
For you are able to visit, just open your mind.
They may not hear you or see you close by,
But you will be there with every tear that they cry.

You can go where you chose; you don't need to walk.
Just think yourself there, you'll arrive in a thought.
You'll never get weary, grow old or feel pain.
You can run, jump and skip, again and again!

Wander freely through fields, with animals galore,
Yes even lions, stroke their mane, they won't roar.
Every bird that you see will come sit on your hand.
You can pet them all freely; now isn't that grand?

You may pick all the flowers your arms can hold,
Our blooms live forever; they never grow old;
Just bend down and listen to their music so sweet.
They sing as you nudge them with your hands or your feet.

Pick fruit from the trees, enjoy as much as you like.
There's a never-ending supply; go on, take a big bite...
Worry not that the juice drips through your fingers.
It all returns to source, no mess, nothing lingers.

Now come on, let's go; there are friends to be found.
Just think of your loved ones and they'll all gather round.
They've been waiting eagerly for you to return,
Excited to hear everything that you've learned."

So it seems we're all destined for God's promised land,
Where angels gone before us just wait to take our hand.
With guidance and with comfort they help us on our way
So we can live in peace and love, enjoying every day.

And if you couldn't walk or talk, or you'd sadly lost your mind,
Have no fear, it's all restored; you leave all that behind.
The Lord repairs your body, returning it to new,
No sign of any illness, just a happy, healthy you.

I'm seeing so much beauty in this land beyond the veil,
Where you suffer no more ailments and all are looking well.
Please don't be sad or grieve for me. I'm never on my own.
Just remember I'll be waiting when it's your time to come home.

This feeling I have, I wish I could freeze.
It's deep within and makes me shake at the knees
It's my love for you that keeps going strong,
And when you're with me I know nothing can go wrong.

My heart for you is like an open book.
This heart of mine you finally took.
The day came when we did meet,
And now our love, it is complete.

The One I thank for this happiness so wide,
He is our God who dwells inside.
He gave you me and he gave me you,
And I am so thankful that He is so true.

There will be times when we will disagree,
But as we grow and explore, we will see
As long as together we bind our hearts,
Then we can be assured we will never ever part!

God's love sets me free.
This is my victory song.
His grace is sufficient for me.
It is what keeps me strong.

For I'm no perfect man,
And on my own cannot prevail.
Sometimes doing the best I can,
Even will seem to no avail.

Had my share of heartaches,
Sometimes wondering to what end.
Made my share of mistakes.
Over this, I can't pretend.

The struggles may increase,
But it's no cause for alarm.
God's thoughts to me are of peace,
To nurture and not to harm.

I forge on quite resolved.
God's at work in me for the best.
I am flawed but fiercely loved,
And He is not finished yet.

God's perfect plan for me,
I may not fully understand.
But trusting, obeying, I'm grateful to be,
Handled in His loving hand.